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New boss: So, you'll do just some coding, we just need to restructure current DB.
Me: Ok
One month later...
Boss: So, we are creating new LMS in WORDPRESS (yeah, fcking wordpress) so you'll do this and that and...
Me: Oh, well I like challenges so let's see.
Another month later...
Boss: WE NEED OFFLINE MOBILE APP THAT WILL DOWNLOAD WHOLE FUCKING WP WITH EVERY SINGLE VIDEO AND EVERYTHING AND STUDENT WILL LEARN FROM THAT. WE ARE OPENING IT IN ONE MONTH.10 -
Nobody:
LinkedIn: "Someone looked at your profile! IF YOU GIVE US FIFTY DOLLARS PER MONTH WE WILL TELL YOU WHO IT IS"13 -
Oh boy its actually embarassing...
I was in a cosplay event, when I realized I only have 30 minutes till I check in for my first day in the job as a support agent.
I never had the time to change because of traffic and I was commuting so I spent the next 9 hours in side the company premises wearing a japanese schoolgirl uniform.
...I got quite everyone's attention, even the HR... ( well at least the HR just reprimanded me about that >_<)
Note to self: remember to give yourself 30 minutes more of allowance....31 -
Client :
When do you think we can get the website done with?
Me:
Don't worry, I'll get it done in 3 days.
Me after 2 and half days:
<!Doctype Html>
<html>
<head>
<title> Hello, what did you say the website does again? ....4 -
My biggest fear about publishing open source code is people looking at it and having the same reaction a have when I get back at my old code.2
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So today my middle company put a meeting with the new HR.
Meeting subject: you can't poach inside the company.
Context: I resigned, and I'll be taking with me 3 profiles.
HR: If you do take them, we'll take you to court.
Me: Why?
HR: It's poaching and by contract, you can't.
Me: You can show which clause?
HR: That's not the problem.
Me: Also in France, you need to notify the employee as you are denying his right to get a job. And pay him for that.
HR: What? That's none sense! Stop talking and listen.
Me: Ok
HR: We'll sue you and crush you. You'll have so much legal problem that you...
Me: I'll just start recording on my phone, so you say that you accept it and continue your intimidation rant.
HR: What? No!! Stop that.
Me: *stop it* Would you rather have my lawyer with us? Because we'll need to reschedule the meeting.
HR: If you continue that way, we'll tarnish your name and no company will hire you.
Me: You really aren't familiar with IT, right? Because I could delete ALL production. No system work. The BCP will kick in. You will lose one or two days. Then make an article of it, showing what kind of process or security should have been implemented. And I will still get a high pay job!!
HR: You know what? Get out! If you want to go to war, your problem.
Me: Ok, so you'll be getting news from my lawyer by mail.
HR: what?
Me: Yeah, that harassment. And my lawyer will get in touch. And I might also post on LinkedIn. And talk about it in the next events I'm invited.
HR: that's, that's...
Me: freedom of speech. Don't worry I'll write it so it's only viewed as my opinion. Have a nice day.
Two hours later my friend, lawyer, send them a mail and email.
Three hours later the COO calls me. Saying that HR was out of line and that it'll no occur again. It was an error and I should be forgiving.
So now all discussion with HR must be held with my attorney :). And middle company pay for it.6 -
Seven months ago:
===============
Project Manager: - "Guys, we need to make this brand new ProjectX, here are the specs. What do you think?"
Bored Old Lead: - "I was going to resign this week but you've convinced me, this is a challenge, I never worked with this stack, I'm staying! I'll gladly play with this framework I never used before, it seems to work with this libA I can use here and this libB that I can use here! Such fun!"
Project Manager: - "Awesome! I'm counting on you!"
Six months ago:
====================
Cprn: - "So this part you asked me to implement is tons of work due to the way you're using libA. I really don't think we need it here. We could use a more common approach."
Bored Old Lead: - "No, I already rewrote parts of libB to work with libA, we're keeping it. Just do what's needed."
Cprn: - "Really? Oh, I see. It solves this one issue I'm having at least. Did you push the changes upstream?"
Bored Old Lead: - "No, nobody uses it like that, people don't need it."
Cprn: - "Wait... What? Then why did you even *think* about using those two libs together? It makes no sense."
Bored Old Lead: - "Come on, it's a challenge! Read it! Understand it! It'll make you a better coder!"
Four months ago:
==============
Cprn: - "That version of the framework you used is loosing support next month. We really should update."
Bored Old Lead: - "Yeah, we can't. I changed some core framework mechanics and the patches won't work with the new version. I'd have to rewrite these."
Cprn: - "Please do?"
Bored Old Lead: - "Nah, it's a waste of time! We're not updating!"
Three months ago:
===============
Bored Old Lead: - "The code you committed doesn't pass the tests."
Cprn: - "I just run it on my working copy and everything passes."
Bored Old Lead: - "Doesn't work on mine."
Cprn: - "Let me take a look... Ah! Here you go! You've misused these two options in the framework config for your dev environment."
Bored Old Lead: - "No, I had to hack them like that to work with libB."
Cprn: - "But the new framework version already brings everything we need from libB. We could just update and drop it."
Bored Old Lead: - "No! Can't update, remember?"
Last Friday:
=========
Bored Old Lead: - "You need to rewrite these tests. They work really slow. Two hours to pass all."
Cprn: - "What..? How come? I just run them on revision from this morning and all passed in a minute."
Bored Old Lead: - "Pull the changes and try again. I changed few input dataset objects and then copied results from error messages to assertions to make the tests pass and now it takes two hours. I've narrowed it to those weird tests here."
Cprn: - "Yeah, all of those use ORM. Maybe it's something with the model?"
Bored Old Lead: - "No, all is fine with the model. I was just there rewriting the way framework maps data types to accommodate for my new type that's really just an enum but I made it into a special custom object that needs special custom handling in the ORM. I haven't noticed any issues."
Cprn: - "What!? This makes *zero* sense! You're rewriting vendor code and expect everything to just work!? You're using libs that aren't designed to work together in production code because you wanted a challenge!?? And when everything blows up you're blaming my test code that you're feeding with incorrect dataset!??? See you on Monday, I'm going home! *door slam*"
Today:
=====
Project Manager: - "Cprn, Bored Old Lead left on Friday. He said he can't work with you. You're responsible for Project X now."24 -
So the bosses and general peeps at work never close our door properly.
Finally earning the "engineer" part of our job titles :p!5 -
Ouch. Friend started at a smallish company (~20 employees), and instead of a new machine he got handed the CEO's 5 year old Dell so the CEO could buy a new machine.
He sees it as no big deal, but am I the only one that sees that as (to put it mildly) a bit of a red flag? It's not the machine itself that's so much of a problem, more the attitude behind the decision that stinks.7