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Joined devRant on 2/20/2018
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because mah eNtErPrisE sUpPorT
big corpos always go with the shittiest software out there just because they can't imagine a world without enterprise support. All that Red Hat, Oracle garbage - it is so annoying. They pay thousands per year for subscriptions and then save on their own workforce, putting clueless idiots in front of their systems. The stupidity is mind boggling1 -
Can you really trust the security features on your device?
Can you really verify that no one is looking at what you're doing all day, in your house or out and about?
What if I am the one looking at your naked ass right now?21 -
Iphone autocorrect is truly revolutionary. I truly need these super common words to constantly be changed to complete nonsense.
"in" to "inn"
"an" to "available"
"do" to "doo" or "dou"
"and" to "abs", "ABCs"
Many, many others.
It took over 20 corrections to complete this simple thought.
Soft locks several times a week so I have to hard restart it in the middle of doing things.
$3500 for a VR headset? Where do I sign up?9 -
Escalation channel
Q: @here I'm sending a request to X and I'm getting a timeout. Please help.
A: Can you please share the request you're sending?
Q: It's <URL> and I send this token as a Bearer: <token>
A: I understand that, but it's a lot easier to debug if we have the curl for said request. You can find it here: <postman_screenshot_with_arrows>
Q: Here's what it looks like: <postman_screenshot_with_17.4_km_long_curl>9 -
If you have clumsy people around you, your belongings are never safe.
I left the laptop on the table for just a few hours, and this is what I returned to. Someone carelessly moved the laptop to the right without paying attention to the USB stick, so it bent from the table to the right with a higher position.
Indeed, lack of protrusion is the main reason SD cards are better than USB sticks, and why laptops should have full-sized SD card slots, and why external SD card readers are no valid replacement for built-in SD card slots. Relying on an external SD card reader outright defeats the primary benefit of SD cards, lack of protrusion.
One can be careful with ones belongings every day and have them last a long time, but then someone else comes and ruins it for you. Years of effort with being careful have been wasted. Clumsy people will certainly find new creative ways to break your stuff.10 -
Microsoft brute-forces password-protected archives in OneDrive.
“Microsoft will decrypt, open, and scan protected Zip archives uploaded to the company's cloud servers in search of potential computer threats. Security researcher Andrew Brandt recently discovered the issue while trying to share malware samples with other researchers through SharePoint.”
This is when I encrypt my archives, I use _very_ long passwords generated by Bitwarden. Like this: qkYdE5i@27yHTTj8YsMDKQ9^mo$j@!P^M4qA95Y5VqR*53otAMuMv$9sdxtF4HAuNdAYoW9RPVxucJ3
Good luck bruteforcing that, Microsoft!
https://techspot.com/news/...14 -
Usually I do love my colleagues, but lately....
FOR FUCKS SAKE I AM NOT YOUR WALKING HUMAN GOOGLE SEARCH ENGINE SHITOVERFLOW CHATGEPETTO INSTANCE! READ YOUR FUCKING LOGS, DO A FUCKING INFORMATION LOOKUP, READ THE FUCKING MANUAL.
OH YOU HAVE A QUESTION YOU SAY? PLEASE FOR FUCK SAKE ELABORATE WITH SOMETHING MORE THEN 'Please help me with the pipeline"' WHILE YOUR ACTUAL PROBLEM IS A LACK OF KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF GIT, LINUX OPERATING SYSTEMS AND AUTOMATION.
OH YOUR BRANCH IS, WHAT, 3 MONTHS BEHIND MASTER? NEVER HEARD OF A FUCKING REBASE? WHATS THAT YOU SAY??? YOU DONT KNOW WHEN TO SKIP A COMMIT??? ITS YOUR FUCKING CODEBASE! READ THE FUCKING DOCUMENTATION !!!
WHATS THAT? YOU WORK IN VSCODE AND YOU DO T K OW HOW? AGAIN READ THE FUCKING DOCUMENTATION !
Self.end(rant)10 -
After a company Christmas dinner, some employees went to a bar together. One colleague was so drunk that he felt from his chair. We lifted him back up again, but left him under the table after the third time.
However, he came back on his own, having his dong hanging out, and left a puddle below the table.
So we walked the colleague through the entire town to get him back to the hotel.
When we arrived there, the guy mopping the hotel lobby was able to tell us his room number within a second after noticing us. -
One of the craziest misconceptions about the IT industry I had was ... "They are a company, so they have tons of money, I can ask for whatever setup I want and they will provide it".
I wrote an email to my boss about how my Core i3 and 4GB RAM laptop isn't powerful enough for LAMP stack development and I need a Core i7 16GB with GTX1080 graphics card laptop to get tasks done.
My boss must've had a good laugh at me.15 -
Company is laying me off in less than a month. Thousands of others as well. Our whole department is going away but not the work. Yet I still have to meet a deadline that is just days before they stop paying me. My motivation to do this work is in the toilet.10
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I just discovered that my dedicated server is a tamagotchi laying around at somebody's home. While benchmarking cpu I discovered that it performed worse than my 4yr old chromebook with mediatek processor.4
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I told a joke at work today.
It's so good that I've been called to the HR department. I assume they want to hear it too.6 -
Did the 32 GB RAM upgrade! Look at me now mom, spending mad cash on my sick rig!
(Well, 40 bucks in this case. Literally.)4 -
I had to explain what version control was to the dinosaur last week. (Our cto, for more context check last post)
So we've been having issues getting our infrastructure dude to do deployment because he is sick of the treatment he gets here and has basically checked out.
Deployments then fell onto the dinosaur. After struggling for an eternity to figure out app settings (any junior dev could figure this out) he finally deployed, however it was from qa branch.
I gently reminded him that we were deploying from master and that all changes in qa should be merged to master when testing phase is over.
He informed me that 'he doesn't think that's a good idea because if we merge to master and there's problems then it's fucked forever and there is nothing we can do'
I stood there with my mouth hanging ajar until I finally managed to squeeze out 'that's literally what git is for....' 🤡3 -
I do love u ranters
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Whenever I feel like I’m not good enough at my trade, I come here to read a few rants. While I am a failure, it’s so nice to know there are even more disappointing devs around.13 -
Me: "Team, we need to make a call. We have 2 options to deal with issue X: we either apply the mechanism A, sort the issue out right away, but risk creating another issue in the long run, or we take another path and try and change the process revolving around X to make it less painful if any."
Colleague: *calls me on Slack*
Me: "You, tsup?"
Colleague: "You said you wanted a call"
Me: *that's not the call I had in mind......*4 -
Hey everyone - I will be doing some routine database maintenance a little later tonight. There might be some short periods of downtime but I will try to keep them to a minimum. Sorry for the inconvenience and thanks!9
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BOSCH replied to my job application for java backend engineer
"Thank you for your interest in Robert Bosch d.o.o.."
WOW
"We have reviewed your application..."
YES?
"...and have decided..."
YESS???
"...to move forward with..."
YESSS I CANT BELIEVE I GOT A JOB AT BOSCH
"...other candidates."10 -
You know what´s really retarded?
How HP decided to put the delete key next to the power button on their Elitebooks (and make the power button part of the top keyboard row)23 -
Conversation I just heard
Manager: How's everyone doing?
Dev: I'm actually really tired. I've been having trouble concentrating and reading. I think I need a vacation.
Manager: Oh but that's good. You see, the brain is like a muscle. Today you lift 30kg, tomorrow you lift 40kg. So you will be able to handle more and more stress as you progress. That's great.
Dev: ...19 -
Why are product managers always so irritating. I mean i understand they can't code, but then why do they have to be so nosy about status updates.
Its not like if i show progress to you it'll get done quicker. In fact more likely than not it will get delayed. Because you'll start realising things you haven't really thought about.
I somehow feel they are there to only make the entire environment just much more frustrating.6 -
I swear to god, If I have to explain git bisect to another "senior" one more time!! Like, how do you _not_ know this?! Know your basics, please! 🤬14
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We've been trying to hire a greenhorn, fresh-faced intern from India for like a month now.
Plenty of applicants, most with very nice curriculums, a few even can think on their feet while grilled by my questions.
I've sent to talk to HR three almost college-graduating candidates, who convinced me they know the subject of data engineering enough to be working with me and that they are actually gonna do the tasks assigned.
The fucking tweep at HR, an old fart who I had to convince that HVAC maintenance is not the job of the IT department nor the data team, calls my approved candidates "too junior".
WTF, I ask. - "Not professional enough", says the human toad.
Yes, they are to be interns! - "But they do not show professionalism", answered the hag.
Yes they do! They were very professional on the interviews! - "That is for me to say!" barked the reptile.
A week pass by while I try to find more just as good candidates who are also "more professional" when the hag has the audacity to say "here, I found someone. He knows everything about computer things and is very professional".
I took like 20 seconds to find out that the kid she'd given my number to, and was now messaging me IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT, was her niece's fiancee and wasn't even in uni! He was just a high school graduate!
Seriously, nepotism kids, delete your Instagrams, tiktoks and every single piece of social media.
I scaled the issue to my VP, who contacted the HR VP for India, who gave the worst possible excuse for her behaviour: "She knows nothing about computer things!" for what my own boss said "so why was she assigned to oversee the data team's new hires?!". The HR slug mumbled something and then doubled down with "well, the kids you sent her were all girls! she had never hired a girl to a technical position, she wouldn't know what to look for in an interview!"
What. The. Fuck.
My boss, my VP of a very strategic technical area, happens to be a woman who lives in a place where women's rights are for real. I had *never* heard she swear on a non-football-related context. She did. Loudly. On camera. As if the HR boss was a referee who just disallowed a goal for her team due to an very ambiguous forward pass.
Shit is still flowing, but it seems that the hiring process of the entire company is being restructured because of that.
I guess I've just sped up this process in about one hundred years?9 -
recruiter: "perfect, you seem the kind of guy we're looking for this role. but can you explain this gap in your resume?"
me: "I'm sorry but I've signed an NDA(non-disclosure agreement)"6 -
Hey folks, just need to get this off my chest! 😤
I finally broke free from the chains of a company riddled with politics and zero career growth. 🚫📉
But hey, I've joined a startup now! 🚀 It's a fresh start where I can escape the drama and unlock my true potential. No more suffocating bureaucracy or stifled progress. 💪💡5