programing life

I had a friend whom I met in an open-source community. We hadn't been in touch for a while because of the distances of where we were. Coincidentally, we happened to be working in the same city. When we knew that we were in the same city, we decided to meet and catch up. We met over dinner and this person went on and on about his company and how cool the culture was there.

Towards the end, I jokingly said, "If your company is so cool, why don't you get me a job there?"

2 weeks later, he sends me an email address and asks me to send my resume to it.
1 more week later, HR from the company calls and asks whether I can come to office to chat.
I agree and head over there over lunch break. I _speak_ to the person who was going to be my manager and later to the CTO. The CTO asks me a few technological questions and sends me off.
1 week later, I call up HR just to know how I fared in the interview. They say that they'll give me an update within the week.
Next week I get a call from HR asking when I can join. Could I join with 2 weeks of notice period? I could try, the pay was almost double that I was already earning.
I speak to my existing boss about the offer and they offer me an immediate hike of 30%. That gives me a notion that I was already under-paid. I wouldn't want to continue working with an employer who knowingly paid me low (even though I was content with what I was getting already). I make my decision to quit. Puts in my 2-week notice period and join the new company on the said date.

*Now that's what I call a Hacker*

MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS

This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.

xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

xxx: You're gonna love this

xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".

xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those

Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT

The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

So i saw this on fb today..
Haha

The joy of using Kotlin instead of Java :')
Though if I'm not mistaken they produce almost same out put :\ but writing kotlin is just time saving IMO

Went from a 1gb RAM ultrabook to a 16gb RAM laptop...
Is this what resurrection feels like? 😢

i love programming cz it's fucking awesome

Was helping somebody with a little C++ issue (disclaimer: I know jackshit about C++).
After a while off reading his code and opening a file called "pi.cpp", I noticed something odd...

This guy literally thought is was a good idea to put 81663 fucking decimals of pi in a #define statement :^)

On the screenshot, that weird "noise" on the right is actually a scrollbar of the code itself...

UI Designer : please make the border under the title a lighter shade of grey

Me : How much lighter?

UI Designer : I'm not sure... I'll know it when I see it. Just try a few shades out.

Me: *tries a lighter shade* Is this okay?

UI Designer : No! Now it's too light.. Make it juuuust a little darker.

*This goes on for two hours back and forth*

Me : ....... (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Mother of god, was listening to the US govt hearing of zuckerberg about the recent scandals. The amount of very fucking simple obvious questions he 'could not' answer normally...

Govt person: Would you be willing to change Facebook's business model if this was required for the security and privacy of Facebook users' accounts?

Zuck: I don't understand your question.

Sorry, WHAT?! You don't need particular rocket science to understand what's being asked here. A combination of common sense and knowing the English language and English grammar in combination with maybe having finished some form of education should be enough to understand this ridiculously easy question.

Do you need it written on a golden plate with fucking blue letters in Facebook's font with the S letters as dollar signs while drinking 10 gallons of 'fuck every persons privacy'?!

Or maybe shoving it up your ass in the form of heated/glowing metal letters of 10+ inches in height? We could arrange that as well.

Storing passwords in plain text.

To be fair, it was a feature requested by the client, but still...

At least encrypt it man.

Holy shit. I'm sitting in my CS class and I just heard someone complaining about the stupid responses they get when they tell people they're a CS major.

I heard a new one that is honestly the most stupid fucking thing ever. She told someone she's a CS major and they replied "Oh so are you taking a lot of chemistry classes or something?"

Being 100% serious, I saw a guy in my Computer Programming I class using MS Word to write code that he would copy, then paste into notepad. When I asked him why he did that, he said, "Microsoft Word is easier to read than notepad."

He ended up dropping the class and changed majors.

15,000 line main. It’s our flagship product. 🤮

Local IT company proposes to give talks about the basics of web development in our school for one and a half week.

>"And now we're going to learn more about JavaScript."
>"The first thing we need to do is to import jQuery in our webpage."
>Literally no mention of plain JS.

this is why jquery is still not dead...........

I fucking hate Angular. I don't know man I've been using NoScript since my balls dropped and I feel like JavaScript is fucking useless (I like Typescript syntactically though).

What drives me nuts is all the frameworks: Think of a word, add .js, search it up... it's theeeeere.

I know I'm not the only one who fucking hate JS, and I don't think there are many people who genuinely love it. Sorry I just wanted to rant and it's 5 a.m.

Custom CSS? Who am I kidding, I'm a backend/security/server guy.

Fuck this shit, bootstrap, here I come!

And also the education loan

Dear junior programmers:
You will never get hired from what you learned at University

You have to study on your own, update your knowledge, practice at home and fail

The most important is to know which field to focus on

Me: when are you coming?
Gf: 1 hour
Me: started updating windows!!
.
.
.
After 1.5 hour
Gf came
Windows still updating 😂

I am currently working for a client who have all their data in Google Sheets and Drive. I had to write code to fetch that data and it's painful to query that data.
I can definitely relate with this.

PS: Their last year revenue was over US$2 Bn and one of their sibling company is among Top IT companies in the country.

4am

"I need to brush my teeth before going to sleep 😵"
*goes to bathroom*
*washes hands*
*goes to bed*

1minute of heavy processing later

"FUCK"

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!