Fun fact, I left my old job in October last year. I still have a full access to their github. With admin privileges. I could just delete all their repositories. This is too much power.

alexa in action

How I imagine it vs How my users use it.

copycat, literally :-D

Dammit! All the interview rants make me scared to go to an interview in the future.

Someone found my curriculum online, hooked me into an interview. I go there and the dude that handles the interview asks me: "So, why do you want to work with us?"
Man, I don't even know myself.

If you come to me, and ask for my opinion about something, then you throw “You’re wrong” at my face. Then why the fuck did you ask me in the first place? Fucking cunt

Simple flowchart XD

Thank you, Satan

An actual quote from a kid in my English Class:

"Because I'm a programmer, everything I make has to be perfect, cause that's what it's like when you work with code".

Yet another Hacktoberfest tshirt

From openbazaar

Received by translating their product

Will you just behave, dammit.

-Me wrestling with CSS

>be me
>drinks coffee daily
>goes a day without drinking it, tries to code
>has problems focusing & getting things done
>has trouble staying awake

Never code without drinking coffee
My face when I had 15 errors in 40 lines of code

>>>> Followed link to a post
* Do you Accept Cookies?: Yes
* Our customer supports online: Okay, I know
* Subscribe to Newsletters?: Click Click Accept
* Website wants to turn on Notification?: Okay
* Seen Our New Product?: No, not today
* We require you to be over 18?: Yes, I am
* We value your privacy?: I Agree
* Looks like you're using ad-Blocker?: Turn Off
* Don't forget to follow us on...: Okay!!! I get it already, just show me the f*cking post!
* What next
***** 1 million ads appear around a single post broken to bits having (1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9 next>>) *****
Just wondering who invented this money making strategy.

Sneak: 100

Greets. I need advice. And before reading just skip me with classic things you can't - you shouldn't. As i am Windows user last 20 years, I never actually used any other os (running ubuntu on vm occasionally doesnt count). So for some period of time I'm thinking about throwing myself fully into some Linux distro but I can't choose which one. I was thinking between Fedora, Arch and Debian (i dont want Ubuntu), but also what it should be a main key of my decision is good documentation backed up distro. Thanks in advice if you are willing to help my decision

Looks good to me!

The reason why aliens are avoiding earth:
Me : Guys, the CI/CD pipeline is ready. ci.yaml is our config file, so don't remove it as the deployments will fail.
**10 seconds later**
slack: BUILD FAILED
Me: *Looks at git commits* "Brian removed ci.yaml

Wtf BRIAN!🖕🖕🖕🖕

When a recruiter calls you about a .NET developer role and asks if you wear glasses because the client wants someone who can "see sharp". 😜

They removed the coffee machine from our floor.

Mother fuckers.

Dev: boss, there are some abnormalities and confusion in the client's specifications.

Boss: So?

Dev: Shouldn't we get clear about them and then start coding?

Boss: No need. We assume and code. Then show them to our clients and then ask for their opinions. We will change again according to their opinion.

Dev: ..

A few months later....

Dev: *seeing so many specifications change and realizing now have to refactor a lot of codes* , FML.

That amazing feeling when your girlfriend says “you should teach me how to code”

Client: you never sent an email!! What am i paying you for!!
Me: *checks freshsales, sees he's ACTUALLY OPENED THE EMAIL* sir we're sure we've sent you an email.
*Argumen goes on for a while*
Me: *pissed, sends freshsales screenshot that he's opened it* have you or have you not opened this email on your account ****@**.com?
Client: oh on that account? Ok.

Ping: 0ms

Everything that's gone into the design of this box, is absolutely astonishing 😮 and no I don't just mean the outside

Found this in C&H comics. Figured lots of devs can relate

This coincidence 😂😂😂

Best 404 page I have ever seen 😊

https://acm.illinois.edu/404

MS buys Github?

GitHub Starter
GitHub for Students
GitHub Home Basic
GitHub Home Premium
GitHub Professional
GitHub Enterprise
GitHub Business
GitHub Ultimate
GitHub 2018 R2
...

WHAT THE FUCK