Details
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SkillsJavaScript, PHP (Laravel)
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LocationPetal, Mississippi, United States
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Github
Joined devRant on 8/27/2019
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Being paid as a 'junior software developer' at the average salary for that with all these responsibilities
That's a funny joke13 -
"We make sure not to discriminate in our hiring process"
"Now please, trust us with your crucial personal details like sexuality, religion and what colour you are"13 -
Tekashi 69 was about to snitch on me for hacking and leaking data from the NSA and then I hit em with the...
return;6 -
NPM has this cool feature called "link" which allows you to easily link local npm packages as dependencies of other local packages for developement. It's so cool in fact that everything you run npm install it deletes all your links for fuck all reason1
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Yay a new iPhone.
3 cameras and fast charge and.... omg 5 more hours of battery life 😱
But wtf Apple, $1900 AUD.
This is seriously getting to the point Apple don't want people's money anymore.
Oh and just to clarify,
- sent from my iPhonerant apple iphone - the next gaming laptop money grows on trees no longer a phone this thing but ugly though11 -
employee: I want growth in my role
company: *installs ping pong table*
employee: autonomy?
company: *creates fully-stocked snack room*
employee: fulfilment.
company: *employs a live DJ in the office*
employee: *quits*
company: some people just aren't a good culture fit.6 -
If you told me in 2010 that Internet Explorer would be discontinued in 5 years or so, I would call you crazy.2
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Just search 'mascleta, valencia' in youtube. I was working in a building near that. From day 1 to day 19 of March, every single day at 2:00 PM
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Monday morning we found out our main event queue hadn't processed since late Wednesday afternoon. Shit was hitting the fan and we were stumped. What had changed?!?. Why wasn't the queue processor running?!?
Turns out a server restart had killed the job (no worries there, surely?!) but turns out the job checked for a system flag on disk to stop it running multiple instance or in this case as the flag was still present any instance at all. Got to love the little things that really screw you over.6 -
Worst dev I've interviewed?
"Archie" ran his own consulting business for almost 20 years. Prior to his interview, Archie sent HR (to send to us) his company's website, where he had samples of code for us to review (which was not bad, this guy did know his stuff).
What I found odd was Archie was the lone wolf at his company, but everything I found about him (the about page, his bio, etc), Archie was referred to as 'Mr. Archie Brown'.
Ex. 'Mr. Archie Brown began his humble career and 'Mr. Archie Brown is active in his church and volunteers his time in many charities ...'
Odd to refer to yourself in the third person on your own site, but OK, I like putting hot sauce on my mac & cheese (no judgement here).
Then the interview..standard stuff, then..
Me: "Given your experience, this is an entry level developer position. Do you feel the work would be challenging enough for you?"
Archie: "Yes, Mr. Archie Brown would have no problem starting at bottom. You see ..."
Almost any time he would reference himself, instead of 'me' or 'I', he would say 'Mr. Archie Brown'. As the interview continued, the ego and self-importance grew and grew.
My interview partner wanted to be done by using the escape clause, "PaperTrail, I'm good, do you have any questions?"
Yes, yes I do. I was having too much fun listening to this guy ramble on about himself. I made the interview go the full hour with the majority of time 'Archie' telling us how great he is.
The icing on the cake was my partner caught his gold cuff-links and tie-pin where his initials and how he kept raising his hands and playing with his tie to show us (which I totally missed, then was like "oh yea, that was weird")
After the interview, talking with HR:
HR-Jake: "How did it go?"
John: "Terrible. One of the worst. We would have been done in 10 minutes if PaperTrail didn't keep asking questions."
Me: "Are you kidding!? I had the best time ever. I wish I could have stayed longer."
HR-Jake: "Really? This guy was so full of himself I wasn't sure to even schedule with you guys. With his experience, I thought it deserved at least a round with you two. You think we should give him a chance?"
Me: "Hell no. Never in a million years, no. I never in my whole life met anyone with such a big ego. I mean, he kept referring to himself in the third person. Who does that?"
HR-Jake: "Whew!...yea, he did that in the phone interview too. It was a red flag for us as well."
Couple of weeks later I ran into HR-Jake in the break room.
HR-Jake: "Remember Mr. Archie Brown?"
Me: "To my dying day, I will never forget Mr. Archie Brown."
HR-Jake: "I called him later that day to tell him the good news and he accused me of being a racist. If we didn't give him the job, he was getting a lawyer and sue us for discrimination."
Me: "What the frack!"
HR-Jake: "Yep, and guess what? Got a letter from his lawyer today. I don't think a case will come in front of a judge, but if you have any notes from the interview, I'll need them."
Me: "What are we going to do?"
HR-Jake: "Play the waiting game between lawyers. We're pretty sure he'll run out of money before we do."
After about 6 months, and a theft conviction (that story made the local paper), Mr. Archie Brooks dropped his case (or his lawyers did).23 -
Coworker wrote a nice package and put it on Github, to share with other departments.
I link his package on our company Slack, mentioning a team, with text "What do you think of this one? Is it usable for you guys?"
Next thing I know I have to explain to an executive why I'm "posting pictures of seductive cartoon girls in company chat with disrespectful commentary"
It linked the Github profile picture of the developer in Slack. A fully clothed anime girl, nothing particularly lewd about it.
But I like stabbing back a bit, and confusing the fuck out of people in suits:
"Hate to say it, but a good majority of all the code the company runs on, is written by people known as weebs, who use their so called waifus as their GitHub profile picture. It is very common for open source Javascript packages, but since we recruited 50 extra devs it now also happens internally. It's not my thing either sir, but I'm afraid we have to embrace it... "
"But what about our female devs? What about Joanna, she's in your team? We have to think of diversity! Our investors are really in to diversity, we can't have a bro culture!"
"Sir, with all due respect, we have super diverse teams without even trying. The problem is... they're all millennials. They grew up on weird memes... and are probably ten steps further in embracing diversity compared to the rest of the company."
"Also, Joanna is the one who drew this particular picture. She's charging a €15 commission for profile pictures... Do you want one of your fursona, sir?"
"What is that?"
"Uh... nevermind. Let's... let's not go there"48 -
I wonder if people would still post pics on Instagram if Instagram hid the number of likes..
I wonder if people would still buy branded clothes if every item of all the brands both big and small were sold at same rate..
I wonder if people would still pursue their current career (jobs) if all the jobs in the world gave equal wages to every employee..
I wonder if people would still donate if they were not allowed to tell anyone about it or post their contribution on social media..
I wonder if people would still by fairness creams and stuff if we removed the mindset of superiority of whiter tones over the darker ones..
Sometimes , i just wonder...8 -
I don't know why but whenever I find Flutter and Dart together. i read that Fart. I know it's just me.2
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I wrote (or, ended up with a very much alpha but usable version) a monitoring system a while back and completely forgot about its existence.
But, it's still running and a few days ago I was building a docker imagine on a system with not that many resources and after about 5 minutes I started getting notifications about a high load!
Then, while I had forgotten about it again, yesterday, I suddenly started getting notifications about websites on my main application server going down.
Logged in and all was good again after restarting nginx.
Gotta say that it feels quite awesome to be notified of shit going wrong by something I wrote myself while I forgot about its existence 😊2