Have you ever written a very complicated code to look like a professional programmer??

For example:hello world app in c++

#include <iostream>
using namespace std;

int main(int argv, char argc)
{
char vhWnd[] = new char[13];

struct dataentry
{
string txt;
float vex = 0.2345234;
};

vhWnd[1] = 'e';
vhWnd[4] = 'o';
vhWnd[3] = 'l';
vhWnd[2] = 'l';
vhWnd[7] = 'o';
vhWnd[5] = ' ';
vhWnd[6] = 'W';
vhWnd[9] = 'l';
vhWnd[8] = 'r';
vhWnd[13] = '\0';
vhWnd[10] = 'd';
vhWnd[12] = '!';
vhWnd[11] = ' ';
vhWnd[0] = 'H';

for ( int i = 0, i=13, i++)
{
nhttp << vhWnd[i];
}

return 85037593;
}

So.. pets for your avatars.. but I don't see the alternative of having a baby crawling around your feet available for choosing instead of dogs and cats.. crawling around, biting cables, smashing my keyboard steeling, buying adorable and distracting her dad from working. because that's what my home environment looks like.. maybe I don't have enough ++'s
;-)

Ever since I joined devRant, I've been the most motivated I've been in the past 3 years to work on my personal projects and learn new stuff

I freakin love you folks 💞

Feature request:
When @ is pressed, opens up a list of people who have commented on a rant, do we can mention them quickly

EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2017)
-------------------------
@trogus and I have had an absolute blast working on devRant over the last year. However, we're strong believers in only working on a project if you're passionate about it, and over the last few months, we've sadly lost some of that passion so we've to announce, with heavy hearts, that we will both be moving on. We've decided to focus 100% of our energies on our next product, one which we are confident has billion dollar potential: Semicolon JS (http://semicolonjs.com).

We identified this sizable market opportunity as we were building out the new devRant website. Every JavaScript framework we tried left us wanting more. More efficiency. More elegance. More extensibility. That's what Semicolon JS is: more. More than a framework, it's a guiding philosophy. We believe that Semicolon JS will do for front end development what Material Design has done for user interface design. We're calling it Semicolon JS because even though you can still develop JavaScript without it, like a semicolon, we think it will soon become a standard and synonymous with quality JS development.

So comes the obvious question. What will happen to devRant? We wanted to make the announcement today because we will be officially shutting down the product in 30 days. So that gives everyone a full month to take in the last memories, look at those rants they really loved, and hopefully take some time to chat with @trogus and I about Semicolon JS and what we have planned.

With so many thanks and looking towards the future,
- @dfox and @trogus

We moved to a new office floor and got a brand new set up. My new extension monitor died just after 4 hours of use, it was showing a black screen a with couple of colourful lines running down the screen.

Got the IT guy to come and replace it. He says he must test it with a display cable even though the screen was dead without any input source. (Ok fine cbf arguing with you, just do it.)

*Magicarp used splash, nothing happened*

Realising I was right, he gave the ok for another guy to replace my monitor.

Second guy comes to my desk and realised he forgot the electric screwdriver. (Sigh, how long must I wait...) After he finally finished installing​ the new monitor he plugged the display cable into a random display port without looking.

*Magicarp used splash, nothing happened*

Since the monitor wasn't displaying anything, he jumped into asking me to restart my computer. I gave him "the wtf are you stupid face" and just said "NO". I looked over to where he plugged the cable and asked why he plugged into the "dp out" port.

I plugged the cable to the correct port and monitor was working.

Felt like I can do their job better without any experience in IT support.

PS. Don't play the "please restart your computer" card on me. I also work in technology.

How To Be A Developer
(Easy Method)

(Note: You need an Android device to be a developer)

Step 1: Go to Settings.
Step 2: Click on "About phone".
Step 3: Click on "Build number" 7 times.

Congratulations, you are now a developer!

Yayy!! Just got my stickers... 😍😍😍
Now comes the hardest part, where to put them 😱

Schrödinger's chat

You know the world is fucked up when you can post a picture of your dinner on Facebook and it gets fifty likes, but when you post about something important, like software and hardware freedom is gets one like.

My friend said this,

Roses are red,
The screen turned blue,
I'm not a programmer,
What the fuck do I do.

Switching between a programming language with semicolons and one without.

Hello errors!

Got it today!

So "happy" valentine's day .

While installing Windows 10:

Do you want to enable Cortana?

By enabling Cortana, you agree to share your voice input, typing history, search history, your location...

I think they should just minify this to: you agree to share your life with us.

I love this community.
<3
Thanks for this time.

That moment when you have a tight deadline, but your inner *developer dignity* won't let you write code that sucks.

Jesus, Apple are fucking amazing at design! A keyboard I need to prop up with a book and a mouse I can't use when charging.... Genius!!!!

Why is it that so many developers have trash tier hardware? Sometimes I feel like 90% of developers are hardware retards. You work on a computer all day why the fuck are you running one from the early 2,000's that takes a year to boot and can barely run the applications you need? Hardware is a lot cheaper than time and better hardware will save a huge amount of time. And why the fuck do so many devs use laptops? Trashy little craptastic aluminium shit cans folding under the weight of the heat they produce. The more work you do the slower they go. Meanwhile I sit back on my heavily over clocked, water cooled, desktop and fly through workloads that laptop users wouldn't begin to be able to think about. So basically buy a desktop with high end hardware and you'll be amazed what you can get done and how much less painful stuff will be. And if you need to go mobile just grab a Chromebook and remote into your desktop. You'll be happy you did.

The programming book we all should have bought

Every company has a ghost programmer

Just posted my first answer on stack overflow.

Thank god! Now when you click on an notif it takes you to the correct comment! Thanks dfox.

RANT Incoming
Not necessarily dev related but I need to get this off my chest.

So a bit of a backstory. I had to stay late from school the other day and ended up having to take an Uber home. The ride was fine lady was nice. Everything seems to be going well and there were no signs of any payment failure.

Then yesterday, I had to stay late again. I never said that I had an outstanding balance on my account. Apparently Uber was having problems charging my Android pay account.
So I ended up being stuck at school for like 3 hours. Great!😑

So I emailed Uber when I got home. And this is when I started pulling my hair out. I don't know how many replies I had, but each time I had to tell them that I was not using a prepaid card.

This was one of my replies:
"I'm sorry, are you real? If you are, here is a quick summary of the issue. I am using ANDROID PAY with my CHASE DEBIT CARD. Not, NOT, NOT a prepaid card. I happen to know that CHASE DEBIT CARD(which is the card I use, in case you have already forgotten) works with uber because MY FATHER USES THE EXACT SAME TYPE OF CARD with uber. He uses a CHASE DEBIT CARD(again I use that same type of card as well). So by using LOGIC I am able to deduce that a CHASE DEBIT CARD is in fact compatible. AGAIN THIS IS NOT A PREPAID CARD!!! If the card is incompatible, WHY DOES THE APP ALLOW BE TO ADD IT?!?! Also in response to your last email... Because I am using Android pay, do you really think that an ANDROID would be able to use APPLE pay? Also Google wallet is DISCONTINUED! Finally, PayPal DOES NOT CONNECT TO UBER. Returns a "Server Error." So please stop wasting my time with generic help solutions. Believe me, I have already googled my issue, and nothing comes up. That is why I contacted Uber. I want my driver to be paid, and, uber had made it SO painful with unhelpful "Solutions" to problems that don't even APPLY TO MY ISSUE. No not even mention PREPAID cards in your reply or I will consider you a robot built by monkeys banging their heads on a keyboard. Uber HAS my VALID payment information, USE IT! If there is a phone number I can call, please, enlighten me"

And the response was:
"Thanks for reaching out with this.

Happy to help with this issue you are having.

After reviewing your I can see that the only payment method associated with your account is an ANDROID PAY card and it is also a prepaid card. Some cards and methods are not compatible with our billing processes and can't be used with Uber. This includes prepaid cards."

So I concluded that they are monkeys.

Then Uber banned me from logging into my account because I didn't pay.
So now it is impossible for me to pay because I can't do anything with my account.

Now they want my SSN and a bunch of other shit that I won't give them.

I told them that they were being illogical, and I got the exact same response about the prepaid bullshit.

So I sent them this photo as a goodbye.

I get my driver's licence next weekend, so I won't need Uber anymore. YAY!

Also mind grammatical errors, I talked it in and am to lazy to proofread

!rant

I made devRant pancakes!
yummy

How was yours?

Trello nailed the changelog with their offline sync update
(Yeah the rewrote the whole song)

I remember reading shampoo directions as a kid and it feeling wrong to exit the cycle.

1. wet hair
2. apply shampoo
3. lather
4. repeat

I didn't choose development life, it chose me

Come on apple i expected better!!

that feel when you finally find software that perfectly fits your needs..... but find the download page is on sourceforge.net, last updated in 2002.