Recruiter: This is a 100% remote position

Dev: Good! That’s what I’m looking for.

Recruiter: But the company does require you to come into the office “on occasion”

Dev: I live 5 hours away from your office so that would be not a good fit

Recruiter: And once covid is over the ability to work remotely will be getting reconsidered. You’ll likely need to move cities in order to continue your employment with them.

Dev: Yeah I’m looking for 100% remote work

Recruit: This is 100% remote! Just with the need to come into the office sometimes now and potentially more later.

Dev: …

Why the Fuck would someone disable pasting on a password field!!!! How the fuck am I supposed to enter my shit from my password manager now?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

IT != Help Desk

Yes I'm in IT (I'm a software developer). No I cannot fix Outlook not opening for you.

Always choose your friends wisely.

This seems perfectly reasonable

Yepp.. The older you get, the faster the time flies by. Remember how long days used to be when you were 10? How much you used to do then? And now? You barely skim through your emails and it's already lunch time.. And soon after that it's already time to go home, go to sleep. And the next day is the same. Round robin, round robin... And when you think that the pooft-you're-gone moment is approaching faster and faster every year, you wonder what are you leaving behind, to remember you by.. A few dev projects that will drown to oblivion a few years after you're out, a few modules in other projects that will live longer but your code lines will soon be overwritten and forgotten in git's history, where noone ever scrolls to. Your own projects you have never released. Your fam who will remember you until their grandchildren - after that older generations are forgotten...

What is it that will keep people saying your name after you're gone? What significant have you given to the life?

as always...

100% 😂😂😂

Me: hey I have a major issue I need to discuss. Would you be free tomorrow at any of these times: A, B or C?

Him: Yes

Me: ... ... ... ok I’ve a new issue I need to discuss with you right now!

is it just me or is finishing the rest of 10% of the project much more fucking harder than finishing 90%?

The United Nations should make a law or pass a resolution to ensure better coding standards. :)

Smart client....

Found this on Reddit 😁

A client just sent me a bunch of screenshots of his old website, asking me to make a site that looks just like that. I declined.

You're not a programmer
You're a problem solver

"Minimalism is not a lack of something. It’s simply the perfect amount of something." - Nicholas Burroughs

You know you're deep into programming when your messages end in semicolon.

Hurry up before sale ends. Now you can get Samsung internet Browser at a discount space for just 45.92 MB instead of 61.55 MB

Why am single 😂😂
On a date with a girl:
Her: Tell me what you do for a living
Me: I create my own stress and worries, sometimes these worries follow me in my sleep.
Her: Did they follow you here?
Me: Yes! Infact, I got it now. I think I forgot to install curl, that's why my API queries wouldn't work.
Her: Excuse me?
Me: I mean, I out of here, bug is fixed bit*h

Found this on Reddit!
Makes sense!

Best design I've ever seen!

for me it's 70% design and architecture,
10% Googling, 10% stackoverflow, 10% college courses.

Toughest part of git is writing the commit message

Church proyect...

Client: we want our logo in our new website

Me: ok no problem just give me the....

Client: but we dont want ppl to be able to download it.

Me: excuse me but that is not posible cuz...

Client: where is your faith! Nothing is imposible.

Me: proceed to stare in disbelief....

!rant

We keep ranting about managers, here is something good about mine. He increased my salary a 100% of my current. Which is freaking awesome.

That's all have a good day. ☺️

I just realized i haven't left my home in 4 days.

If i die, please commit my code before calling an ambulance.

Apparently the same guy that likes to type on a turned off macbook, likes to look at his turned off phone too

Previously: https://devrant.com/rants/1383459/...

I’m legally not allowed to rant about my company but im gonna do it anyway so stay put

So... A random morning moment:
(c - Cient, m - me)

C: Help!!! Our users are complaining that our website is not working as intended!!! This is crucial!!!!
M: What's the problem? What is not working?
C: EVERYTHING!!!! FIX IT!!!!
M: Could you be more specific...?
C: Look at the bugsnag - it has all the errrors!!!
M: *looks there - no errors* - But... It has no errors...
C: Okay, so client told me he's using Galaxy SII - does that ring a bell?
M: *thinks that I'm fucked* - Asks, which browser?
C: Why do you need it? It's a browser after all...
M: Yeah but not all browsers are the same and I need type and version to investigate...
C: It's Samsung default browser... Last updated 2012 January.
M: Well, tell that user to update the browser, the site is working fine on newer versions...
C: No, you update it.
M: Browser?!
C: Yes, what else?!
M: Of course, I'll fly 3000 kilometres to press UPDATE button on clients phone...
C: Well, he's not doing it himself - he's afraid!
M: Well, that is his problem. Site is working fine for other users with newer browsers.
C: But... He's a client
M: I get it but he's a client that uses 6 years old browser and tries to visit our website. Don't you remember that we ditched IE support on your behalf for the same reason?!
C: Oh... I see... Can you make something that it works with 2005 browsers?
M: Of course... *evil laugh starts* I'll make the website work on EVERY single device EVER - make it plain text.
C: Are you joking?
M: Are you?

----

And since then, we ditched the actual need for supporting users with old browsers that don't update to modern standards... Feels great!