I dont have a twitter

The polite way of killing a thread

Requirements vs Delivery - Guide to Programming
This one is a killer and I've received it in multiple forwards in office email, and we always have a good laugh seeing this joke.

Client: “Our next requirement, and this is something big you know, we need an elephant”
IT Team: But why don’t you adjust with a buffalo, even it is big…. and black?”

Client: No, we need an elephant only, let me explain our current process……” (client explains for an hour)
IT Team: Fine, I understand your requirement. But our system supports only a buffalo…

Client:We need only an elephant!
IT Team: Ok, let me see if I can customize it for you”

Requirements are taken as follows:
Client wants a big black four legged animal, long tail, less hair. Having trunk is mandatory. The same was documented, signed off and sent to offshore for development!

At the Offshore Development Centre,

Design/Development – Based on requirement all features are supported in base product (as buffalo), for trunk alone a separate customization is done.

Finally the customization is shown to client:

mom : i don't understand why my son became a nocturnal being..

father : son .. what the hell do you do entire night alone in your room with your lappy .. go get a gf or get married .. go get a life

relatives : beta (son in indian lang) my tv is not working can you fix it.. beta my internet is not working on my mobile (goddamnit turn on the mobile data for fuck sake )

browsing application source, found this beauty of a method 😶

The new O notation

Customer: "I want this."
Dev: "Cool! We can do that!"
*delivers product according to spec*
Customer: "Hmm, now that I see it, I want something else instead.."
Dev: "git reset --hard origin/ifreakingknewit"

What only relying on JavaScript for HTML form input validation looks like

The Absolutely True Story of a Real Programmer Who Never Learned C.

I have a young friend named Sam who is quite a programming prodigy. Sam does know C! I need to make this clear: he’s not the titular programmer.
But a couple years ago Sam told me a story about a different programmer who never learned C, and I liked it so much that right on the spot I asked his permission to repeat it. (I could never just steal such a tale.)
Sam wasn’t always a programmer—actually he started in his later teens, in part because he was more of a jock, and in part because he was related to programmers and wanted to do his own thing. But, like all great programmers, once he was bitten by the bug he immersed himself completely in it.
One day Sam happened to be talking programming with his uncle, who was also a programmer but from way, way back.
“Hey,” said Sam, “I’m learning this language called C. You must know a lot of languages, did you ever study C?”
“No,” said the uncle, to Sam’s surprise. “I am one of the very few programmers who never had to learn C.”
“Because I wrote it.”
Oh, Sam’s last name is Ritchie.
What I love about this story is the idea of Dennis waiting Sam’s entire life to deliver this zinger. Just imagine sitting on a line that good, watching your nephew grow up and waiting, waiting until the one day he finally starts learning to code. Did he work on the line in his head at night? Like, “Hmm, how should I word it so I can deliver the punch line perfectly? Should I say ‘I never took a class on C?’ Nah, too awkward…”
The great thing about geniuses is how much effort they put into everything.

Courtesy : Wil Shiply.

😂😂😂

Mention some supernatural powers that only Devs can master upon!

.
.
Can't think of any??
let me tell you mine's,

I can easily determine the interests and how creative my colleagues are just by looking at their desktops... 😎☺😂 Isn't it cool?

!rant
Just managed to set up a laravel development server in my raspberry, with a fully functioning private git repo!

(Not having a CS degree nor working in IT... I am very happy with this!)

Logic

Devrant has a big security hole... Just post "Which is better, Linux, Windows or Mac os?"
The internet will crash

Word Porn

Been in Microsoft stack too long. Opened up bash terminal on the raspberry pi I just setup...

Its been 6 hours and it felt like 20 minutes. I had no idea I missed this until I started messing around again.

i simply don't give a fcuk!

Maybe it's just me, but since devRant launched, Twitter has been much less interesting.

That one killed me x) 😂😂

One day I will pay for Sublime Text…

I wish I had one..

You had only one job to do -_-

Wrote this on a quote board at work after spending six hours trying to get one piece of software to work on Ubuntu.

God.use(Prayer);

Okay I have decided to sit down and finish laravel project that I am working on and I see this:

That moment you realize that a recruiter refactored your resume and "corrects" Symfony to Symphony and sent it to multiple companies...

Not today!

Real life scripts

css :(

Writing Regex be like..