Day 1:

Me: 'Hi'

Middleware guy: 'Raise a Jira. We have always been so accommodating. Contact your manager.'

*Jeez*

===

Day 2:

Me: 'Could you please start the server in dev environment? I am a new joiner. I don't have access. Here is a jira.'

Middleware guy: 'Deadlines may be for you. It is not for me. Wait until tomorrow.'

*Damn, did he get a divorce recently?*

===

Day 5: *An urgent delivery asap* 'Hi, could you please do the configuration of the new app in staging?'

Middleware guy: 'So, here is the split up...
Task 1
Task 2
Task 3
Task 4
Task 5 & 6
Your app will be configured by tomorrow first half hopefully.. Oh and you can escalate if it is too late..
'
*What a b...*

===

Day 8:

Me: *Doing late sit for pushing a task* 'Hi, we have an issue. The server is not starting. Could it be due to..'

MW guy in 'second' shift: 'Oh, we don't extend support on unusual hours'

Me: 'But this is second shift.'

MW guy: 'Yeah, but I have to go home early now...'

====

Day 10:

Team Lead: 'Any innovative solutions?'

Me: 'Let's go SERVERLESS!' :D

This motherfucker tried to fuck me!

Ok, here's the full story.
I applied for a quick job as freelancer. He told me I just had to implement stripe payment gateway. After finishing that he asked to save the user data from payment to the database, too. I added that. All the way he wanted me to work on his ugly project on a rotten server through cpanel. But I refused instead I uploaded a showcase environment on my own server.
After he tested my code and all was working as expected he again tried to make me implement the code right away into his retarded project before payment. When I mentioned that he has to pay me first he started bitching that he won't pay in advance.

At this point I left that fucker. Knowing that my feeling was right and this bitch never had the intention to pay for my work. He just wanted to steel my code.

Fuck you. I hope you get eaten in your bed by very hungry slugs one day. Like this one guy here on devrant.

WHY DO PEOPLE USE STRINGS ON THEIR BINARY CLASSIFICATION DATA LIKE IS IT HARD TO USE 0 AND 1?!?!

Linux is userfriendly

Designers,

■■■■■■■ please
■■■■ stop
■■■■■■■■■ using
■■ charts
■■■■■ to show
■■■■■■■ your skills
■■■■ in your
■■■■■■■ resume

Which one will you choose: Windows or Linux?

Mother of fucking god, its astonishing to see how difficult it is to entirely block out Google from your computer.

Actually, its very easy and I wrote something to automate that but the second you block out that goddamned mass surveillance network, every login page of every goddamn site with a fucking recaptcha just doesn't work anymore.

Google, go fuck yourself and with that, every motherfucking site which uses recaptcha.

I love pipes in R. Really wish more mainstream languages would adopt that *looking at you python, nodejs-tc39, rust, cpp*

Just something about doing

data %>% group_by(age) %>% summarize ( count= n() ) %>% print

As oppose to

print(summarize (group_by(data, age), count=n()) )

Android Studio got you! 😂🔥

Well I did exactly what it said I would.

fucking bugs only appear to users

Return type is important in some languages

every single fuckening day

~During app demo to our client~

- And when you click here the request will be submitted, the admin will be notified.
*App crashes*
- And of course the app will close itself since it's the end of the process.
- Client: That's good
- Me: ⊙﹏⊙

Side projects..
This describes the shit very accurately.

hope not a repost tho

Me: p
Windows Search: Paint
Me: pow
WS: PowerPoint
Me: powers
WS: Powershell
Me (typing too quickly to notice Powershell is already there): powershell
WS: ummm idk

Taken from Reddit

Breakfast of champions

Well...

So at my work no one ever like talks to me, so today someone was talking to me and I had to look behind me twice to realise that someone was actually talking to me. Such fun.

Go die in a hole, Eclipse you stupid-ass dumbshit.

Not sure if I'm a robot or not

I didn’t want to wait for the adapter to come in…

Everytime

Keep scrolling....

You’re always telling people the importance of backing up important files, but do they listen? Of course not. Sometimes you have to simply sit back and wait for natural consequences to teach them that lesson.

If you invite me to a "lunch and learn" about company policies, and I have to bring my own lunch, well, that's just a meeting during my lunch, isn't it?

Responsive Indeed!

Oh wow.
Google deems me worthy!!?!!

Spoke at my first conference yesterday! Was mental 😂😂 going to take me a week to recover