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Any devs from CIA's Frankfurt department here? I can't remember if I shut my TV off before I left home, can you check?
KTHXBYE19 -
Little fun story
About 3 years ago, my woman came gome from picking up our son from kindergarten.
She told me that she met a very nice woman - also a mom - whose man is also a dev (He is a FullStackDev, while I mainly do backend in PHP) .
She said that she invited them over for BBQ the next day.
In my mind, I was like "Fuck, now I need to listen to some wanker explaining me how great it is to be doing full stack with all the latest and greatest tools and bells and whistles why I am the fat kid using PHP"...
The BBQ-day arrived, we have met, we have talked, and we have been best friends and brothers-from-another-mother ever since.
Life is good sometimes.5 -
!rant.
I've worked for about two months at my (first) job. Its amazing.
We create audio/video software for the products we make.
There are 9 programmers besides me, I'm the only junior. And I'm still learning my way around the code, but they still value my input.
We only do stand ups for 5-10 min, like it should.
One if my colleagues helps me often when I have questions, so I've nicknamed him ducky.
My pm is awesome, he's great at coding and a great manager.
When we work overtime, the department pays for delivery food and drinks.
And we've already gone on 2 trips with the department, mountain biking and a BBQ.
I love my job and I hope that I'll soon be good enough to ask less questions.3 -
I was looking through some code I wrote 10-15 years ago. Seriously, WTF? Makes me want to invent a time machine to go back in time and punch myself in the face.5
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F*** all this motivational/inspirational shit going on nowadays. We don't need cold showers, wake up 4:30 AM, or sacrifice time with loved ones just because our ego wants to be successful.
What if I don't want it, what if I just want to BBQ some chickens, drink Red Bull, and watch some Netflix shows until I die.
I don't want to own a Lamborghini, big apartment, live in a warm place with a nice view over the blue ocean, etc. This is just an illusional life-style story that every single person in the world wants, and the reason is so media and commercial companies can trick people to buy whatever they want.
I don't give a shit, we'll all die someday, I don't need these things in my life to make me feel happy or complete. I've seen people with everything, yet they commit suicide because the inner self is broken.
Just be happy with whatever you have, and stop going after things that won't really make you happy. The fact you have eyes to see, ears to hear, and hands to feel is worth billions in itself.
Wake up.19 -
Had a company BBQ lunch today then someone turned on some dumb movie and everyone is sitting around laughing at it. I'm like how soon can I leave and get back to coding without looking rude....1
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🔐How can a manufacturer(Netgear) not allow changing username of the admin user???🔥
That effectively lets anyone bruteforce the damn thing like its being grilled on a BBQ!
Yet they implement remote access router management via 8080 and alley you set up VPN server on the incapable thing.7 -
Summer is coming, and i suppose all of you will buy a new barbecue to cook some meat, but i have another economic alternative.
How to make a homemade bbq:
1) Take an old laptop
2) Turn it on
3) Install Android studio (also works with intellij)
4) Add a lot of gradle (or maven) depencies
5) Code something cool (or not)
6) Build and compile it
7) Now you can put your meat on your laptop
8) Enjoy your meal13 -
I created a REST API for a customer that one of their customers should use. I sent some documentation and code samples to the "developer". He didn't understand why he should send css to the API. He obviously couldn't tell json from css...
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*My friend was piling up her food in a bbq place*
Me: What are you doing?
Her: I'm trying to beat my old stacking record.
Me: Be careful not to get a stack overflow!
. . .I'll see myself out.2 -
I was asked to fix a critical issue which had high visibility among the higher ups and were blocking QA from testing.
My dev lead (who was more like a dev manager) was having one of his insecure moments of “I need to get credit for helping fix this”, probably because he steals the oxygen from those who actually deserve to be alive and he knows he should be fired, slowly...over a BBQ.
For the next few days, I was bombarded with requests for status updates. Idea after idea of what I could do to fix the issue was hurled at me when all I needed was time to make the fix.
Dev Lead: “Dev X says he knows what the problem is and it’s a simple code fix and should be quick.” (Dev X is in the room as well)
Me: “Tell me, have you actually looked into the issue? Then you know that there are several race conditions causing this issue and the error only manifests itself during a Jenkins build and not locally. In order to know if you’ve fixed it, you have to run the Jenkins job each time which is a lengthy process.”
Dev X: “I don’t know how to access Jenkins.”
And so it continued. Just so you know, I’ve worked at controlling my anger over the years, usually triggered by asinine comments and decisions. I trained for many years with Buddhist monks atop remote mountain ranges, meditated for days under waterfalls, contemplated life in solitude as I crossed the desert, and spent many phone calls talking to Microsoft enterprise support while smiling.
But the next day, I lost my shit.
I had been working out quite a bit too so I could have probably flipped around ten large tables before I got tired. And I’m talking long tables you’d need two people to move.
For context, unresolved comments in our pull request process block the ability to merge. My code was ready and I had two other devs review and approve my code already, but my dev lead, who has never seen the code base, gave up trying to learn how to build the app, and hasn’t coded in years, decided to comment on my pull request that upper management has been waiting on and that he himself has been hounding me about.
Two stood out to me. I read them slowly.
“I think you should name this unit test better” (That unit test existed before my PR)
“This function was deleted and moved to this other file, just so people know”
A devil greeted me when I entered hell. He was quite understanding. It turns out he was also a dev.3 -
I can't stop the urge to buy Udemy courses. Help!! If I don't stop, I go broke cause I'm still aiming for a job.10
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Don't you just love it when a customer reports a bug in their live system and it's really urgent to correct it; then you go out of your way to fix it ASAP and deploy it to the staging system for them to verify. Three weeks later the customer has still not tested the bugfix...1
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My prederred method of communication is over email.
A guy I've built an ecommerce platform and affiliate tracking for was sending me a lot of IMs. So I disabled Google chat. Then he started sending me texts to let me know he sent WhatsApp messages.
Last week he sent me a text to let me know to check WhatsApp. The message there was extremely vague and a minute later an actual email came in explaining the actual issue.
He's fucking with me right?
Then yesterday he messaged me a random series of questions, some that could have easily been googled, that on a holiday while I'm out with my family, should have definitely been over email, because they weren't immediate issues. I actually pictured him drinking at a bbq when he was writing them.
I was about to quit this dude but I get some nice monthly bonuses. -
Warning: BBQ religion discussion
I love living in Seattle, but one thing that really, truly bugs me is the absence of legit bbq. I love all bbq, Carolina, Memphis, Texas, Virginia, Tennessee, Georgie, doesn't matter. Even Kansas City and California if i have to.
There's places people swear by here, but they're mostly just meataterias with meat that is just OK. At least half of BBQ are the sides. Here, very little vinegar in sight, everything dry AF and underseasoned/oversalted. Dry potato salad that is mostly kraft mayo, coleslaw that's also mostly kraft mayo and menu items like "queso mac and cheese." You said cheese twice, I like cheese, but I don't trust you enough to order it. And greens? Don't even try.
Biggest thing though: if you don't serve fried okra, don't you dare call your shit Texas bbq 😠21 -
Last week I had a meeting with a client at their office and I got an invitation to a BBQ with some other people that evening. So I went to that BBQ and when I wanted to leave he said we could go laser gaming in their building.
That was awesome!! 😱
So yeah, you could say I've made friends. Not only because of programming, but also in the process of getting a new project. -
Best:
Leaving my work in the soul crushing dog eat dog world of transportation and logistics for higher education software for colleges and universities .
I work at a college and I fucking love it and love my team.
Worst:
The soulc crushing dog eat dog world of transportation and logistics where I worked as a backend developer and lead mobile developer. Not only did it made me hate and despise native android development, but it also made me despise the human race as a whole. Watching a motherfucker letting go of employees that he knew personally (as in bbq with their families and shit) because my software automated a large portion of their work(it was meant to make it easier for them for that i was originally told) was absolute and total bullshit and i still carry that fucking remorse with me. After that I vowed never to do that sort of bullshit work again....sort off. No one gets fired at this institition for it. Logistics sucks big monkey dick and the people there are the absolute fucking worst. Every single motherfucker i met was a fucking shark, all of them and they would not think about fucking people over if it saved them some money.
Yeah, that even tops the military and that was fuuuull of fuck fuck games and other similar fuckery.2 -
Sometime in the mid to late 1980's my brother and I cut our teeth on a Commodore 64 with Basic. We had the tape drive, 1541 Disk Drives, and the main unit and a lot of C64 centric magazines my dad subscribed to. Each one of the magazines had a snippet of code in a series so that once you had 6 volumes of the magazine, you had a full free game that you got to write by yourself. We decided to write a Hangman game. Since we were the programmers, we already knew all the possible words stored in the wordlist, so it got old quick. One thing that hasn't changed is that my brother had the tenacity and mettle for the intensive logic based parts of the code and I was in it for the colors and graphics. Although we went through some awkward years and many different styles and trends, both of us graduated with computer science degrees at Arkansas State University. Funny thing is, I kept making graphics, CSS, UI, front end, and pretty stuff, and he's still the guy behind the scenes on the heavy lifting and logical stuff. Not that either of us are slacks on the opposite ends of our skilsets, but it's fun to have someone that compliments your work with a deeper understanding. I guess for me it was 2009 when I turned on the full time DEV switch after we published our first website together. It's been through many iterations and is unfortunately a Wordpress site now, but we've been selling BBQ sauce online since 2009 at http://jimquessenberry.com. This wasn't my first website, but it's the first one that's seen moderate success that someone else didn't pay the bill for. I guess you could say that our Commodore 64 Hangman game, and our VBASIC game The Big Giant Head for 386 finally ended up as a polished website for selling our Dad's world class products.1
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Honestly someone really enjoys the stupid company bbq and team building bulshit? Man, I'm with those people all day...to increase the quality of the relationship the solution is definitely not "let's be 5 hours extra together after the work"...3
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// Publish atleast 1 academic paper
// Complete my master degree
// Get accepted for PhD in Computer Science program with full scholarship/fellowship
// Open my own grill & bbq restaurant2 -
Coolest project I'll continually be working on.
http://jimquessenberry.com
Selling my Dad's famous BBQ sauces and rubs has been my hobby and passion for years. I'm lucky that my Dad was a computer enthusiast in the 1980's and also had a knack for marketing himself. All the while also being a somewhat famous character in the pioneering sport of competition BBQ cooking.
My brother and I shared the following machines growing up:
Commodore 64 w/ 2 Disk Drives, VicModem, & Tape Drive
Tandy 1000 Original Radio Shack IBM PC Clone
IBM 5150 w/ 20mb Hard Drive Expansion (Still Have This In Near Mint Condition)
Tandy 1000 RSX 386 with Win 3.11 For Networks
A Homebuilt Pentium 90 MHz Tower with Soundblaster and 16bit onboard video.
All that time on those machines learning various flavors of BASIC and crude graphic design got me where I am today.
That and learning how to BBQ... ;)8 -
The customer was really persistant that we should not use ANY locks when reading from SQL server, not even Sch-S locks, because "noone else is using locks".
After two days of trying to explain to them the concept of "Dirty Reads" and the practical imposibility to avoid Sch-S locks, they finally gave up.
The best part was when they asked in a quite condescending way "this is funny, why do you think that nolocks causes dirty reads?" and I sent them a link to the MSDN page about nolock that cleary states "Specifies that dirty reads are allowed.". -
I'm doing my last days at my current job this week. I'm beginning a new job next week and am quite affected by impostor syndrome. What happens when they find out how bad I am at programming?3
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Fucking pt100 sensors and fucking max31865 amplifiers! Waited a few months to arrive (working on an arduino bbq temp monitor and log server), ordered fucking everything, asembled fucking everything and this piece of fucking shit reads random values between -200 AND 980 DEGREE not even constant and sometimes gives under/over voltage. Tried a whole another max and different pt100s but every fucking time this random madness. WHY THE FUCK IT CANT JUST DISPLAY THE FUCKING TEMPERATURE???
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we were in space. we failed our mission in this rust bucket of a ship. we were the last of humanity. surprised the thing was holding the oxygen in from space at all. we didn't even have power for lights inside the rust bucket
and there was this thing... we did something to it but it failed, we needed it for some mission but our plan went wrong... and we had 2-3 hours of oxygen left. it was impaled on a rusty sharp section of a half broken wall. right down the middle. of its mangled human body if you could call it that. it had melting skin, dripping blood and melting cartilage. in this rust bucket, of high heat and humidity, and you could smell its melting flesh like you bit your own lip and singed it somehow at the same time. like burnt meat, cartilage on the BBQ but with fresh irony blood, the taste of the flesh of your lip. and it noticed me and started tearing itself along the rusty wall segment that was serrated... moving fast and terrifying. it was hungry. it was angry. it had nothing else on its mind, and no possibility of anything else. livid
can't even enjoy suffocating to death for 2-3 hours in peace
one thing to have dreams of dying but come on. can't even die in peace now!5 -
/observation
I've found that a caramel latte pairs nicely with kettle-cooked bbq potato chips.
Or I'm just weird.2 -
A friend gave me a couple of Corona beers as a joke and now I can't decide on what quarantine burrito to make.
chicken with rice & beans or BBQ pork with coleslaw? -
me.BeforeReachingEnoughPlusOnesForFreeStickers += (s, e) =>
{
PlusOnesNeededForFreeStickers += 5;
e.Cancel = true;
} -
Liferant. I feel annoyed If I compare my efforts to efforts of my "friends". I put 500% more in my self education, my career and professional life and I earn just a tiny bit more. I don't even know if I have friends anymore. We do not have a single thing common. While I want to develop, learn something, build something useful for people, they only want to drink, going out etc. Before we had some lan parties some game night but it was long ago. I lost any interest in travel and parties. I don't enjoy alcohol, I still consume it when I'm with them because there nothing else to do. I also become vegan about 2.5 years ago and those bbq`s are just pain in the ass. Plus I heard the sentence "show me your friends and I tell you your life" - uff.. I had never a single person who I knew personally and who has similar mindset like I do. Shall I start to look for friends? Even the thought feels kind of pathetic to me. I'm a freaking island in middle of the society who is trying to make it better but it's fighting against it with full force. I'm tired. I'm not suicidal and I still enjoy the life, but I'm crazy alone in what I like to do.2
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