My Lazy Habits:

1. Not testing my own code thoroughly... cuz fuck that. That's the tester's/QA's job.

2. I create slack commands to get certain things done, so I dont have to get up and open my laptop each time I receive a ticket.

3. Ask more time for development that I actually need so I can fit in couple naps here and there.

4. Falsely claiming that I am busy when someone invites me over meet or a phone call. Like just text me.

5. Factoring my laziness in when I design features LOL.

I wasn’t even looking for a job, I just went out for drinks with friends and I met this random dude. I complained to him about work wanting us to go back to the office, to which he replied that I should go work for them because they’re remote and looking for people. I had a look at their openings and they had a role with fewer responsibilities and a lot more money, so I applied. It’s been 3 months and I’m so glad I switched.

Recently got two MS certifications. Not big ones, just one fundamentals and one associate level. And trust me, is this the level of the questions? Like they've mentioned in the MS Learn platform that it needs atleast some hands on experience in order to pass, and guess what, I didn't have any. Just mug up the theory from the MS Learn platform, mug up some dumps and you're great to go. More than 90% of the questions in both exams were from the mugged up dumps. I mean wtf. Just mugging up some stuff and vomitting it up in the exam will earn you a "industry ready" certification and that makes you equivalent to having a 1-2 year hands on experience? That's simple bullsh!t. Come on MS. Give questions that are really brain tickling. You expect developers and you're just making up some mugging up robots.

Manager: Why haven’t you shipped any code today? It’s almost lunch.

Dev: Stuck on a bug

Manager: I’ll help you

Dev: Please don—

Manager: Have you tried thinking outside the box?

Dev: …Dear god please end my existence

Manager: You could try stack overflow too, have you ever used that site before?

Dev: 😮 🔫

Manager: Also sometimes bugs are caused by npm modules so rule that out first

Dev: *On knees praying to Zues for forgiveness and/or conveiniently placed lightning strike*

Programmer nowadays be like ....

so true and funny
(i found this on linkedin )

Junior: I don't think the methodology you came up with is working.

Me: Why?

Junior: There's an exception when I ran it

Me: ...what exception

Junior: FileNotFoundError

Me: ......have you checked if the path to the file is correct?

Junior: No

(A few moments later)

Junior: Oh I forgot to decompress the zip. Nevermind.

Just going to come out and say it.

If you wait until 4pm on a Friday to hit me up to fix your problems, you're a fucking gangrene twat.

I won't be taking care of your shit until Tuesday you dumb bitch.

!rant

Monday morning panic...the dreaded question.

Random office colleague: "Do anything fun over the weekend?"

Me internally: Fuck...what did I do? Did I do anything at all? I mowed the yard...played video games...spent 3 hours looking at some random open source package I gave up trying to compile. All that is boring though. Was there nothing exciting I can brag about? Fuck...oh wait. I went to a huge theme park Saturday. Yeah that's cool enough to mention!

Me: "No not really"

Jr. Dev: We got an issue in prod.
Sr. dev: Okay, what is the issue?
Jr. dev: Don't know, just got an email.
Sr. dev: Did you check the service?
Jr. dev: Which service?
Sr. dev: What have you debugged so far?
Jr. dev: I explained you the issue and waiting for your inputs.

😑😑😑😑😑

A seasoned colleague just wrote this and I think it was very valuable:

On tech debt:

So the big challenge with technical debt is making non-technical management (CEO, COO, CFO, directors) understand what it means, and just how it operates. Sometimes it actually makes good sense to incur technical debt to get to market sooner, just as it sometimes makes sense to borrow money to get cash now and repay that loan later with (hopefully) resulting greater revenues from that investment. But just like a loan, tech debt always has to be paid some day. The longer the tech debt goes, the more expensive it gets. And also like a loan, the cost compounds, like compound interest on a loan. Tech debt should always be chosen with a clear plan to pay it off at some point in the not too distant future. The longer one waits to pay it, the more expensive it gets.

WARNING: Cringe stuff ahead

And now this happens

A dude who posts spams on LinkedIn and shits on people publicly, made yet another garbage post (which was copied too).

Ref. picture attached in the post.

That went viral on Reddit and I made a comment that I know this guy, have spoken to him, and he made me go bonkers.

Now, he runs a community on Slack that I am part of. I open Slack today and see a message from him where is being sarcastic on how hateful I was.

Ref. picture in comments.

What kind of hypocrite someone could be when they shit on others but when called out, get hurt.

No one says anything to my dev friends.

A month ago I had some medical tests, the next morning, the clinic's send a email with my results. Oh surprise, unbelievable security flaws. They sent me a link without any kind of authentication, token, or security. I looked at my results, and by entering consecutive and random numbers I was able to download a lot of results and folders of other patients. I wrote an email to the clinic informing them of this situation and their response was "Thank you". Today I have accessed the link and the error is still present. I am going to notify higher health authorities.

User:
I wish I could build an app like XYZ that is so cool.🥺🥺

XYZ Developer:
I wish I could build an SDK like Agora.io that is so cool.😣😣

Developer at Agora.io:
I wish I could build CDN like Akamai. That is so cool.🤔🤔

Developer at Akamai:
I wish I could have layed Internet as a concept. That is so cool.😢

Conclusion: Don't disparage yourself as a Developer. Sometimes, we should Appreciate what we have build rather than what we wish to build.

Be proud of the Product "X" you are building.
Just look around, you will find a person wishing to build a product like "X".🤗

#developer #motivation #developers #agora #motivation

The network starts slowing down, transactions start to fail across the 450+ stores, the website starts to spit 500 errors what is going on?

Queue a frantic running around the office working out what was going wrong... Calls from all 3 data centres, nothing is going in or out of the network.

Notice the network admin come back to his desk, his eyebrows raise and he looks left and right before unplugging his laptop ethernet from one of the server access points

The network rushes back to life, everything is fine.

That particular network mapping tool is now banned for use on production.

Wholesome anti-rant.

There’s this Indian chick at work that I really, really do not get along with. Fortunately she’s on a different team so we have practically zero interactions. Her code was always decent, maybe upper junior level? but I went away fuming almost every time we talked.

However, I did a release security review today (I’m down from five/six per month to one) and read through quite a bit of her code. It was clean and easy to read with good separation, clear naming and intentions, nothing was confusing, etc. It was almost beautiful. Had I any emotions I might have shed a tear. I sent her a message and let her know :) I actually learned a better way of doing a couple of things from it.

She has grown so much as a dev.

Ability to find jobs with better salary and less workload. I am tired of working 2 hours and pretending to work 6 hours mire.

Got laid off my by old employer back in 2019 because they have their priorities completely wrong.
Got a mail today whether I could fix something for them (ofc, they wanted me to do it essentially for free).
One of the websites I built for a customer back when I still worked there had a massive bug (that I was aware off and patched in later versions of the library causing it).
They never updated it so, I told them "just update the library".

Apparently, the idiot that was in charge of maintaining said site after I left didn't know how to and completely broke everything.
The hilarious part: While I setup everything using stuff like Docker and Git to make rollbacks easy...
That idiot went back to FTP and manually upgrading the databases through PhpMyAdmin :^)
He nuked the entire site.
Database? Gone.
Codebase? Borked (installed a version with a lot of breaking changes without properly reading the migration guide).
And knowing that shit company, they don't have any backups either.

They said "I wasn't needed because we have other good devs" when they laid me off.
Uhu, I can eh... see those good devs doing their job :^)

So I moved from being the TL of a small team to a member of another team a month ago.

A dev from the old team sent me this today morning. He also sent some examples of what he found "cool", and tbh I'm pretty proud of those modules. I tried being very modest there, but I'm very happy 😅

CEO "If you make costs to build a home office for covid, please be aware that you can fully declare your bills, and you'll retain ownership over the ordered goods. Please all buy some good desk chairs and keyboards, so you can work ergonomically"

6 months later, CFO: "Bittersweet, why did you try to declare €35000? What are these invoices even? Concrete rebar?"

Me: "CEO told us to build a home office. I got permits from the town to dig a souterrain layer under my house. This is just for the foundation, the bills for drainage pumps, sheetpiling, geothermal heat exchangers, insulation, flooring, electricity and of course desk & chair will follow later"

CFO: 😳

(To be fair, I really did make those costs, but was just trolling by uploading all the material bills)

https://webtoons.com/en/challenge/...

Check this guy out!!! I think his work has been featured here before as well.

I don't read Hacker Noon all that much. Is this level of editing par for the course?

LOL Lite is more heavy :P

.......

When you try to change your job

Not dev related but what is the fucking point of someone saying I'm going there to do that and when i ask them to show me THAT what they did they say "oh it was so bad I'm not gonna show you haha"

Like how do i explain it without being rude.....

........

Here's a savage example scenario

---

Your wife: "i just came back from a mountain in the middle of nowhere filming an ad and in gonna be in that ad"

You: "cool. Id love to see that ad, could you show it to me?"

Your wife: "noo i was so ugly and it was so bad im not gonna show u"

---

What are you gonna think? What was your wife filming secretly behind your back and she doesnt want to show you? Was she even filming in the first place? Or was she fucking a guy? What is one supposed to think of this conversation? Why fucking tell me ur gonna go there and do that and then not talk about it at all after doing it? What the FUCK who DOES THAT ???

When you tell the juniors to comment on everything...

Omfg this fucking guy!!!!

Context:

We are going through a major refactor of some of our backend components. I was tasked with cleaning up our ML code while another guy was tasked with cleaning up the general CRUD side of the backend, let's call him DA for "dumb ass".

** At 11pm
DA: I am getting a strange error from your backend. Look:

"Invalid call: method=PUT expected=[POST]"

Me: you need to send a post request not a put request

DM: no, it's not that. I am sending the right thing

Me: ... Let me see...

* 15min ish of testing *

No, it works fine on my version, 1.1.0 what's your version?

DM: I'm on 1.1.0.

Me: send me code?

DM: *send

"request.put(..."

Me: you are sending a PUT... It's literally in the screenshot. Send a Post

DM: I am

Me: no, send a Post

DM: I don't understand, I am sending the request

Me: it's a post not a put

DM: but...

Me: it's a post not a put
Me: good night!!!!!!

Friendly reminder that most SIM cards are 60MHz Java 1.1 boxes.

Spent a good 7 minutes wondering what 18. Ago was in a date field.

Minutes ago?
Hours ago?
Days ago?

Turns out my browser was set to Spanish and it's the short format for 18 August....

I guess it's been a long week.