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SkillsJava
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LocationPoland
Joined devRant on 2/28/2017
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The first time I realized I wasn't as good as I thought I was when I met the smartest dev I've ever known (to this day).
I was hired to manage his team but was just immediately floored by the sheer knowledge and skills this guy displayed.
I started to wonder why they hired outside of the team instead of promoting him when I found that he just didn't mesh well with others.
He was very blunt about everything he says. Especially when it comes to code reviews. Man, he did /not/ mince words. And, of course, everyone took this as him just being an asshole.
But being an expert asshole myself, I could tell he wasn't really trying to be one and he was just quirky. He was really good and I really liked hanging out with him. I learned A LOT of things.
Can you imagine coming into a lead position, with years of experience in the role backing your confidence and then be told that your code is bad and then, systematically, very precisely, and very clearly be told why? That shit is humbling.
But it was the good kind of humbling, you know? I really liked that I had someone who could actually teach me new things.
So we hung out a lot and later on I got to meet his daughter and wife who told me that he had slight autism which is why he talked the way he did. He simply doesn't know how to talk any other way.
I explained it to the rest of the team (after getting permission) and once they understood that they started to take his criticism more seriously. He also started to learn to be less harsh with his words.
We developed some really nice friendships and our team was becoming a little family.
Year and a half later I had to leave the company for personal reasons. But before I did I convinced our boss to get him to replace me. The team was behind him now and he easily handled it like a pro.
That was 5 years ago. I moved out of the city, moved back, and got a job at another company.
Four months ago, he called me up and said he had three reasons for us to meet up.
1. He was making me god father of his new baby boy
2. That they created a new position for him at the company; VP of Engineering
and
3. He wanted to hang out
So we did and turns out he had a 4th reason; He had a nice job offer for me.
I'm telling this story now because I wanted to remind everyone of the lesson that every mainstream anime tells us:
Never underestimate the power of friendship.21 -
Coding Teacher: "you'll need your laptops for the exam. To prevent you from cheating I'll disable the network now"
...pulls out the network cable on his machine...
"okay you can start now"
🤦🏻♂️17 -
I suspect this may happen to alot of people:
Me: Is this the right way to implement the feature?
Lecturer: yes that looks good
Me: *happy*
*Results come out*
Lecturer: *deducts marks for no reason*
Me: You said this is the right way of doing this...
Lecturer: I didn't quite see what you're trying to do
Me: it's fully commented.................
Lecturer: *confused as fuck* i will remark and get back to you
Me: *thinking* fucking retard playing with my grades like it's a joke.2 -
I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship with Ubuntu.
I love it but whenever I'm with it it screws up my environment and doesn't work when I need it to.
I go back to Windows reluctantly and get everything set up and stable. I'm happy, but not excited about it. And then, within a few months, I get that thought. Maybe if I put enough work in I can make Ubuntu work for me as my main environment.24 -
People fucking think that working for a fucking startup is a fucking cake walk. Every person making 6 figure salaries but no one fucking wants to put in an effort to work slightly harder! Show up at 10 and leave a 4 and yeah v'll get funded. And the worst fucking part is no one wants to check something as simple as fucking work emails after work! Fucking get your acts together or just walk the fuck out the door.
I know work life balance is important but don't expect that when you know the company is treading harsh waters and needs everyone to get their shit together so we get funded!7 -
Just learnt perfectly what the below joke means:
'I wanted to improve the world, but they wouldn't give me the source code'
I really don't understand why the world is full of obsolete processes that people fight against daily when changing things ever so slightly could take the weight of the world off their shoulders. The same thing goes for my work, I work in finance, and we use a remote app built in Windows forms (not xaml or wpf, the original forms) and it's insecure, slow, buggy, and crashes whenever you press ESC (yes, really). Even worse, I've offered to rewrite their whole network for nothing, just the improvement to people's lives. And they say no! WELL FUCK YOU FOR BEING A PLAGUE ON THE FUCKING WORLD! Why do people insist on staying behind the times when the world could be such a beautiful place?!?3 -
It was the time of the 90s when one created HTML with frames. During an HTML exam we had 1 hour to create a website with 3 frames. Top, left, main. Some aligned random images and some formatted text. Kind of boring, I know. So I finished early and handed in my diskette with my homepage. To make it easy for him I added my name and class to the title.
When we got our grades I was in for a surprise since I had expected a good grade. I asked him why I didn't get a good grade. He kind of shouted at me that my task was perfectly done but I shouldn't have written my name in the title but name and address of this school. It is not a really dramatic thing but I always hated when teachers quietly assumed stuff and didn't tell us. And then handed out bad graded for totally unrelated stuff.3 -
"Hey, remember when we said we didn't need any of that data, and it was totally okay to design the app without any expectation of needing it, and that it would actually put us behind to add even hooks 'just in case' like you begged? Well, turns out we need it. And we need it right now."
...
"Oh, and this is totally not our fault because you should have just gone ahead and done the thing we told you not to do anyway, on your own time."1 -
If restaurants functioned like Microsoft:
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer;what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[waiter leaves.]
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.009 -
That moment when you make your code such that even dummies can understand it, implement smart ass algos, do all those comment line things for definitions. Then you show your project to your teacher who has this to say :
"Why are you showing me copied code?"
I am like10 -
How do I keep improving as a developer?
Well I think of the fucking misery I would have to face, if I don't.
(i.e going to clubs and socializing)2