FOR FUCKS SAKE, CLEAN YOUR KEYBOARD!

Today we had some presentations on a class, I was near the projector, so I volunteered to control the presentation flow.

Fast forward three teams, arrives this guy, lets his laptop and and I open it... SMELLS, FUCKING SMELLS BAD. Add to that grease and dirt all over the keyboard... I just pressed the right arrow key with the bare tip of my finger...

It's not that hard to keep your workstation clean. Most of all, odourless.

When I was still in school my teacher used to yell at me and mark me down because I use to mistakenly end my sentences with semi-colons;

JS gets a lot of hate lately.

The last month I was developing a mobile app that just showed information. I have to say ionic2 was quite good for it. Sure it's not native but I think it's a good thing for some apps

This guy...

We support IE6

*after 2 hours of programming*
Me to me: you can watch one episode of [some series]!
Me to me after that episode: just one more couldn't hurt for once!
...............
...............
...............
*five hours later*
Me: "what am I doing with my life 😭

This happens too fucking damn often 😫

I thought I at least was OK at JavaScript, but today I looked at a tictactoe implementation, and with all the fancy new syntax I have no clue what most of it is doing.

Maybe the code behind the "Windows is checking for solution"

When people disable copy-paste...

Hmm.. Your console logs do not convince me of your competence, Southwest.

Behind every successful programmer are long frustrating hours of googling and stackoverflow

When you finally done debugging.

This is what my manager tell me every friday 😊☺

100%

Nothing against hamburger icon but come on!

How many can you count? ;)

wtffffff 😂

Thug Life! :B)

My wife wants to name our son "Jason". I suggested "JSON" but she didn't respond code 200. She's a doctor. :-/

Debugging: being the detective in a crime movie where you are also the murderer.

When you are too much of a techie and forget you can just nod

Pushing to Prod without testing and having zero problems

There's a band called 1023MB.

They haven't gotten a gig yet.

While coding, I always listen to music. After a while, if I skip a song I know it's time for a break. The flow has been interrupted

Someone smack the designer…

Bae: come over
Me: can't, tests are failing
Bae: Flatmates aren't home
Me:

Since when did Chrome get a dark theme for developer tools?

Inherited project from another company that the owner wants updated rather than rebuilt.

The comments could write a programmers joke book as you can tell it's been passed between multiple developers.

This is a literal excerpt
//Not sure why this line needs to be here but it breaks without it
//Nope I don't know either
//FFS now I have to deal with this. Thanks guys :/

Me: *coding*
Gf: *walks into room*
Gf: awww look at all the sad winky faces
Me: excuse me?
Gf: look at all the sad winky faces *points at this ); *
Me: ... 😕😂

During one of my interviews a few years ago i was asked "when you leave and are suddenly reminded of that question you really wanted to ask, could you tell us what would it be?"

To which i replied, i don't know it hasn't happened yet.

Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."