Idealistic vs. realistic sprint planning:

Idealistic:
p1: "Can you tell us why you think this user story deserves 9 workdays?"
p2: "Of course. We are using framework xyz for part ABC of component y, so if we were to adopt changes in this, we would need to do new test planning and adjust accordingly. The complexity is of linear time and so -"
p1: "Interesting. I had not thought about that. Let us discuss more"

Realistic:
p1: "Ok so, how long?"
p2: "um, 9 days"
p1: "k"
p2: "k"
p1: "and you?"
p2: "yeah 4 for this 2 for this 1 for this, rest is ok"
p1: "aight, meeting concluded gg"

The idealistic one can happen if there's team trust, but usually there's team dysfunction which causes for team silence and brewing of product issues later on. If only reality weren't this sad.

This is a first... My CEO made a youtube video announcing that they fired an employee (sales). I don't even know why they had to make a youtube video. The link was part of an email, just write it down in that email instead of labeling it as "small message from our CEO"

So disrespectful in my opinion.

A blackbox seo tool that was made by aliens we use says that a couple of our WordPress sites are loading very slowly, so I enable caching through nginx and increase the resources available to them through high capacity fpm pools. They scan again and almost nothing has changed with the page load score.

So I look in lighthouse, which I just learned about, and I find that several of the pages have several MB size images. So that means I'll have to mogrify the entire uploads directory to try to get the size down.

It also suggests I use avif to save a ton of data, which I'm torn on. I hate downloading an image and it not being a normal format that everything can open. But my sites are not image sharing sites, so it's a lot less annoying to the user since they will never realize they're getting an avif. That also means I will have to redo all the image links to point to the avif instead of the original, which sounds like the least fun activity ever.

Another thing that I keep seeing is that Elementor is just slow and slow page loads are part of the deal. If we have to scrap Elementor, that means I will have to be more involved in developing the WordPress sites and I really don't want to.

Svelte is if an unfinished sneeze was a framework.

TFW it's 10am... you've already watched your news, gardened, showered, and did all your laundry, and you literally had to wait for the grocery store to open so you could have your one big dinner for the day, and the postman is taking forever with that package he says will arrive today, and you also have to go to another store for some items but you're actually too sleepy to care now zzz...

now I can be the one dunking on everyone saying they're too slow! HOW'D YOU LIKE THAT

It sucks that peripheral manufacturers don't fully support Linux. I've given Linux Mint an honest and fair try and I like it for being distraction-free and unbloated as opposed to Windows. However, there are too many things that don't work in Linux, such as connecting an external VGA screen through an HDMI adaptor, or to configure a Logitech mouse. It's a deal breaker.

im shitting so so much rn. friday may 9th was my birthday🦁🎈🎂 and today is my grandpas bday so all i did for the past 3 days is eat eat and eat so now all i do is shit shit and shit

Fucking hell, Microsoft Store is the most useless abomination that MS has ever produced and instead of killing it, like they do with their other failed products, they somehow, for some reason, still keep this lobotomized pile of crap alive.

Holy fucking shit, I can't stand this corporate framework they use for this banking app on which I've been working on for 2 months.

I’ve spent the last damn month just building three basic screens, and now my very first PR is buried under 50 fucking comments. Half of them exist purely because their shitty framework has multiple versions stacked and stitched together with so many workarounds that you need so much domain knowledge that intuition or actual dev experience goes out the window.

They’ve abstracted real app development into oblivion. It’s a CRUD app, but they've over-engineered it so much they’re now creating their own problems — just so they can specialize in solving them. It's become this self-sustaining nightmare where they make themselves irreplaceable... and simultaneously unemployable anywhere else.

I genuinely have no idea what I’m doing with my life anymore. The original plan was six months here, grab a mortgage, fuck off, and go back to contracting.

Now I’m stuck questioning my sanity every time I open this project or have to listen to another lecture from my 'buddy' about how everything that I'm doing is wrong.

*Logging in my Google accout*
"Please set your phone number"
"Please set your home address"

Wow. Do you want my blood type too?

Everything is so "I don't want to do it" lately 😫

I'm doing a new strike technique called sneaky strike.

I'm not doing shit. Not even telling my boss I'm on strike.

Nobody tells him.

C'EST LA LUTTEUH FINALEEEU

so here’s the tea.

i’m a Chinese dev working in a Japanese company. they’ve got this decently sized project a full web app and backend stack and yeah, I’m handling both ends. full-stack life. not a problem. I’ve seen worse.

but the maturity level in this place? the passive-aggressiveness? is different level. have you ever worked somewhere where your coworkers act all sweet on the surface, but lowkey make it feel like everything is your fault in the most obvious way possible?

so here comes the fun part.

the Stripe exchange rate endpoint we were using? deprecated. not globally — just regionally in Japan.

i did my homework. contacted Stripe support. got the chats, screenshots, docs, confirmations, evidence, not .........vibes.

solution? easy. i integrated a third-party API that returns the same exchange rate data. built a cron job to pull and cache the values daily. stored it locally. frontend grabs the user’s currency via IP, backend returns the rate, no stress, no wasted API calls. boom. problem solved.

my manager? totally got it. said it was efficient.
but the founder? man acted like a toddler.

he flipped. said it was my fault.
told me i just "no communicate well...uh...very confuse..." like bro… what even? do I look like I own stripe or do I look like I secretly working for them? plus, i explain in full, still not understand.

he got heated in meeting, so I clapped back in the meeting: you want to argue all day and get nothing done? or you want to understand what’s going on, and let me go back to building stuff that actually works? pick one.

he didn’t like that.
pretty sure he’s shopping for my replacement now. well, doesn’t take a genius to see it.

but I’m not here to babysit egos. I’ll do my job clean, document everything, and keep it professional. meanwhile yeah, I’ve already started looking for something else.

Oracle sucks. Try to do something quickly. 1000 restrictions.

You know you're fucked when you're making coffee at 10pm

Week : 76 ( Year 1 )

How was the weekend?

What’s a gross thing most people do but no one will admit to it?

Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/13239372

> Press "Push" button in the IDE.
IDE: ❌ Error 😩 Unable to push branch 'dev' to origin
* Ugh. *
> Open console. Type "git push".
Console: All deltas resolved, chief. 🫡 dev -> dev

Why. Another day, another experience to prefer the command line.

the opposite to border collie is padding poodle or margin malamute

You use English because it’s the only language you know
I use English because it’s the only language YOU know
We are not the same

If I hear ONE MORE time "ChatGPT is like Google but better/smarter" I WILL choke a motherfucker to DEATH

Shampoo for women:
- heavenly papaya
- nourishing silk
- calming melt-in banana

Shampoo for men:
- badass molten lead storm
- dragon fire tsunami
- velociraptor fuckfest

Interesting project lined up for today!

I'll be installing a security system, one camera connected to a DVR pointing at a front door triggering a buzzer and sending a video feed to a monitor in a ground floor room at the other side of the house.

But it's my dads house so I'm going to have fun with it and install a wired Cat5 network an Isolated offline router and build in some "smart home" features from scratch, all running on a Local Area Network.

I've built a private home server package for media and storage using Apache and I want to add as many features to the house as I can, maybe even install an extra camera pointing towards the sky (every home should have a sky cam lol).

I can take my time with this project over the next several weeks and I was wondering what would you add to this project?

I've just received news that Microsoft are to release a brand new search engine in China.

It will be called "Bing Bong".

i am on a phone call, and relying on the mute button for the life of me, that the other person does not hear my loud farting from massive shitting on the toilet

FUCKING AI ASSISTANTS - THOSE MANDATORY, NO-YOU-CANNOT-OPT-OUT AI SHOVELWARE ON EVERY FUCKING SERVICE OR APP.
THOSE FUCKERS OOM'D MY PC IN THE MIDDLE OF A RUSH.
Sorry for the excessive caps, just needed to vent while the BLOODY AI BLOATWARE INFESTED CORPORATE MACHINE reboots for the FUCKING 6TH TIME ALREADY.
I hope the ENTIRE AI BUSINESS (in its current form) OOM's ITSELF.

C# devs be like

earlier today i had 6k+ unread trash emails. now i have exactly 1 :)

unemployment is actually very productive

Two kinds of retro PC
- used to cost $8000, needs 240v AC
- used to cost $150, can comfortably work off of 4 AA batteries a week
Both perform the same.

The only moral action at this point is to disrupt corporations and banks and wear them down as much as possible

Going on holiday is just a pain in the arse.