Last night I dreamed that one of my repos on GitHub got -1 stars and I was actually really sad

IoT is when your ai powered toaster is mining bitcoin to pay off its gambling debts it has with the smart fridge.

!rant
I'm already 5 days late! Cosmic Cuttlefish

When your out of ideas

Github is having issues right now. I'm remembering fond memories of having a local gitlab server...

My heart is telling me yes, but experience is telling me I wont care next week and I'll just spend a few hours setting up a server for no reason.

My girlfriend knows what a coder needs when it’s their birthday. Lucky to have her. Walked into my room and it was set up like this.

The highest data transfer rate today - 256 gigabytes per second - was achieved when the cleaner's vacuum cleaner accidentally sucked the flash drive in from the floor.

Very comforting..

1: Get a dog
2: Name dog Sudo
3: Teach Sudo to fetch my mail
4: Invite Linux-friend over
5: Yell "sudo fetchmail"
6: ?
7: Profit

Posted a Google form link for recruiting interns for my startup. Here's the response I got

Code never lies. Comments sometime do.

Oh no!

Uncle: "It must be noisy, programming. I've seen a datacenter on TV, and those computers are loud" — "It is noisy, but that's more my coworkers fault"

Sales guy at the office: "So you see patterns in the code, you can read this cryptic mess?" — "Uh this is PHP, Its not the syntax that makes it hard to read, it's the dimwit who wrote it"

Father-in-law: "Could you reprogram my laptop, I got a virus trying to download por... nature documentaries" — "I'm not that kind of doctor"

Mother-in-law: "How will you sustain a family, you just play video games all day" — "I make your monthly teachers salary in four days"

Girlfriend: "I learned some Lua today because I needed a world of warcraft extension for..." — "I love you too"

Is it an achievement?

Client: We want it to run on both, windows and Linux servers.

Me: Why would you want such a thing?

Client: The user should be able to connect to the server, independently from what system he or she is using.

Me: So... should we setup a Mac OS X server too?

Amazon Drive offers the most comprehensive data redundancy known to mankind.

"Your data synced. A LOT."™

Oh yeah 😂

>Do you speak Latin?
>Yes ofc
>Wow! Tell me something in Latin
>"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet...."
> :O

Longtime reader, first time ranter!

I'm just here to complain about how everyone at my company sets "latest" for every dependency.

This wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, expect that no one fucking manages their version numbers...everything is still 1.0.X where X is the build number. Even if there have been breaking changes. Even if it's been like 5 years since the repo was created...

This is how you address your 🐱

Awesome recommendations thanks 🤗🤗

PS. Please don’t judge me 🙄☺️

Came into work this morning to find someone had scarred my Mac monitor with this symbol of hate

Just tried to double tap a Facebook comment to "like" it.

!rant

*Just got a package delivered, didn't check yet*
Friend: who sends you stuff from from the USA?
I (excited as fuck): uh it must be my
DevRant
Duck
Delivery.
Friend: your what?
I explain, he walks away not giving a fuck.

But I don't care what he thinks, i love my new devDucks. Oh and special thanks to @dfox for the autograph. Well technically you just signed the customs declaration, but an autograph none the less.

A friend of mine is heavily into java. Like seriously... programming teachers at our school ask him for help.
Everytime he gets drunk he starts saying the weirdest things like "DUDE what's your alpha value I can hardly see you".
He greets me with "What's up socket boy" and after throwing up he thinks about the best ways to sort the data. (his vomit)

Has anyone else had such experiences? I want to hear some funny stories! :D

What a nice trip to Italy. So tempting to ask someone who was so active

3 years ago, when I was 12, I told my family that I started programming and that it was my passion. My mum wasn't interested too much about it, but my dad was, and he encouraged me. He told me that he wanted me to become a great programmer.
He died about one year ago, and I stopped coding because I felt bad; every time I opened my IDE I couldn't type anything.
Idk why, some weeks ago I reinstalled devRant, and, idk why (again), I instantly felt good. Maybe because I understood a lot of people had my same passion.
Two days ago, I finally wrote new lines of code.
❤ you guys.

This happened few hours ago.

Client: I received an email which says that I won 1 million dollars. They gave me a link in the email, when I entered my credit card details nothing happened.
Me: Wait what? You entered your credit card details.
Client: Yes
Me: That was a scam, you didn’t win anything. They stole your credit details. Contact your bank ASAP and let them know about this.
Client: You guys are handling our email servers, why can’t you guys keep it safe. What type of security do you guys provide.
Me: Wait what? We host your website application not email.
Client: Damn it. My son said the same thing, but I didn’t listen to him. Anyways Cheers.

When your gf isn't a Dev but still tries to surprise you on your birthday with an HTML cake. But your OCD is killing you because of the mistakes

Src: IG - developers_team

men==women returns false