The highest data transfer rate today - 256 gigabytes per second - was achieved when the cleaner's vacuum cleaner accidentally sucked the flash drive in from the floor.

Today I finally found out, what's real 64GB/s speed. My vacuum cleaner ate my flashdisk.

My first job: The Mystery of The Powered-Down Server

I paid my way through college by working every-other-semester in the Cooperative-Education Program my school provided. My first job was with a small company (now defunct) which made some of the very first optical-storage robotic storage systems. I honestly forgot what I was "officially" hired for at first, but I quickly moved up into the kernel device-driver team and was quite happy there.

It was primarily a Solaris shop, with a smattering of IBM AIX RS/6000. It was one of these ill-fated RS/6000 machines which (by no fault of its own) plays a major role in this story.

One day, I came to work to find my team-leader in quite a tizzy -- cursing and ranting about our VAR selling us bad equipment; about how IBM just doesn't make good hardware like they did in the good old days; about how back when _he_ was in charge of buying equipment this wouldn't happen, and on and on and on.

Our primary AIX dev server was powered off when he arrived. He booted it up, checked logs and was running self-diagnostics, but absolutely nothing so far indicated why the machine had shut down. We blew a couple of hours trying to figure out what happened, to no avail. Eventually, with other deadlines looming, we just chalked it up be something we'll look into more later.

Several days went by, with the usual day-to-day comings and goings; no surprises.

Then, next week, it happened again.

My team-leader was LIVID. The same server was hard-down again when he came in; no explanation. He opened a ticket with IBM and put in a call to our VAR rep, demanding answers -- how could they sell us bad equipment -- why isn't there any indication of what's failing -- someone must come out here and fix this NOW, and on and on and on.

(As a quick aside, in case it's not clearly coming through between-the-lines, our team leader was always a little bit "over to top" for me. He was the kind of person who "got things done," and as long as you stayed on his good side, you could just watch the fireworks most days - but it became pretty exhausting sometimes).

Back our story -
An IBM CE comes out and does a full on-site hardware diagnostic -- tears the whole server down, runs through everything one part a time. Absolutely. Nothing. Wrong.

I recall, at some point of all this, making the comment "It's almost like someone just pulls the plug on it -- like the power just, poof, goes away."

My team-leader demands the CE replace the power supply, even though it appeared to be operating normally. He does, at our cost, of course.

Another weeks goes by and all is forgotten in the swamp of work we have to do.

Until one day, the next week... Yes, you guessed it... It happens again. The server is down. Heads are exploding (will at least one head we all know by now). With all the screaming going on, the entire office staff should have comped some Advil.

My team-leader demands the facilities team do a full diagnostic on the UPS system and assure we aren't getting drop-outs on the power system. They do the diagnostic. They also review the logs for the power/load distribution to the entire lab and office spaces. Nothing is amiss.

This would also be a good time draw the picture of where this server is -- this particular server is not in the actual server room, it's out in the office area. That's on purpose, since it is connected to a demo robotics cabinet we use for testing and POC work. And customer demos. This will date me, but these were the days when robotic storage was new and VERY exciting to watch...

So, this is basically a couple of big boxes out on the office floor, with power cables running into a special power-drop near the middle of the room. That information might seem superfluous now, but will come into play shortly in our story.

So, we still have no answer to what's causing the server problems, but we all have work to do, so we keep plugging away, hoping for the best.

The team leader is insisting the VAR swap in a new server.

One night, we (the device-driver team) are working late, burning the midnight oil, right there in the office, and we bear witness to something I will never forget.

The cleaning staff came in.

Anxious for a brief distraction from our marathon of debugging, we stopped to watch them set up and start cleaning the office for a bit.

Then, friends, I Am Not Making This Up(tm)... I watched one of the cleaning staff walk right over to that beautiful RS/6000 dev server, dwarfed in shadow beside that huge robotic disc enclosure... and yank the server power cable right out of the dedicated power drop. And plug in their vacuum cleaner. And vacuum the floor.

We each looked at one-another, slowly, in bewilderment... and then went home, after a brief discussion on the way out the door.

You see, our team-leader wasn't with us that night; so before we left, we all agreed to come in late the next day. Very late indeed.

Lamer rant

For a really long time I said to myself that this is too basic to rant about but lately it became so frequent and extreme that here is my rant about completely clueless users that ask me IT related questions.

Disclaimer: Said users are people that I generally can't avoid. Distant family members, neighbors and etc.

Case 0:
U: I don't know what's happening!! The computer doesn't work!!
M: What do you mean?
U: There's no Facebook! And everything is stuck and no messenger!!!
M: The WiFi on your laptop was off. I turned it on. Still, this doesn't mean that the pc wasn't working.
U: I don't understand this shit!!!

Case 1:
U: I hate this computer!!! It never works!!! Help meeee!!!
M: What now?
U: Where did the internet disappear?!
M: (assuming it's wifi or browser related)
Actually user moved the Chrome window to bottom-right corner and lost it.

Every time I try to show the user how I resolve the issue the user yells that there are too many steps, that they are complicated and that I'm a bad teacher and doing it too fast.

Case 2:
U: My computer is so slow! It barely can load google translate! And I can't listen to music on youtube!! Shitty laptop! It's you! Your computers in the apartment drain everything!!!
M: You have no idea what you are talking about.
U: My husband told me that your computers are heavy and drain everything!
M: What exactly did he tell you that my devices drain?
U: I don't know! All the energy! I believe him! He knows!
M: My computers drain less electricity than your vacuum and I have a separate internet connection. Not only we share nothing but also I drain nothing.
U: Since you appeared all the computers are slow!!!!

Fkk...

Case 3:
U: I don't understand, where is my whatsapp?
M: You can't locate the app on your phone?
U: Yes! F*ck, help me! I'm so angry and I really need this NOW!!!
M: Shut up. I'm already here and helping.
(I open users phone and whatsapp is the active app...)
U: I can' t find my whatsapp with Clara!

F*ck you! F*ck you! Ghckjfshij!!!

Case 4:
(crazy hitting on my door)
U: I don't have THE internet!!!
It's you again! You took all of THE internet!!!
M: No, it doesn't work like that. Your provider is bad, your package is cheap and your cables are of low quality.
U: I need THE internet immediately!!! Stop playing with your typing and fix the facebook or I'll cut the power cables to the house!!

I can go on, just don't think that recalling all those events is healthy for me.

To be a good developer, you must thrive in chaos, and have an insatiable desire to turn it into order.

All user input, both work tasks and actual application input, is pure fucking chaos.

The only way to turn that input into anything usable, is to interpret, structure and categorize it, to describe the rules for transformation as adequately as you can.

Sometimes companies create semi-helpful roles to assist you with this process. Often, these people are so unaware of the delicacy of the existing chaos, that any decision they make just ripples out in waves leaving nearly irreparable confusion and destruction in its path.

So applications themselves also slowly wear down into chaos under pressure of chaotic steak-holders which never seem to be able to choose between peppercorn or bernaise sauce for their steaks.

Features are added, data is migrated between formats, rules become unclear. Is ketchup even fucking valid, as a steak sauce?

The only way to preserve an application long term, is refactoring chaos into order.

But... the ocean of chaos will never end.

You must learn to swim in it.

All you can hope to do is create little pools of clarity where new creative ideas can freely spawn.

Ideas which will no doubt end up polluting their own environment, but that's a problem for tomorrow.

So you must learn to deal with the infinite stream of perplexed reactions from those who can't attach screenshots to issue reports.

You must deflect dragging conversations from those who never quite manage to translate gut feeling into rational sentences.

You must learn to deal with the fact that in reality there are no true microservice backends. There are no clean React frontends. There are no normalized databases. Full test coverage, well-executed retrospectives, finished sprints -- they are all as real as spherical cows in a vacuum.

There is no such thing as clean code.

There is only "relatively cleaner code", and even then there are arguments as to why it would be "subjectively relatively cleaner code".

Every repository, every product, every team and every company is an amalgamation of half-implemented ideals, well-intended tug of war games, and brilliantly shattered dreams.

You will encounter fragmented shards of perfect APIs, miles of tangled barbed documentation, beheaded validator classes, bloody mangled corpses of analytical dashboards, crumbled concrete databases.

You must be able to breathe in those thick toxic clouds of rotting technical and procedural debt, look at your reflection in the locker room mirror while you struggle yourself into a hazmat suit, and think:

"Fuck yes, I was born for this job".

BOYS ITS HERE

WE FINALLY GOT SPACE VACUUM IN PHOTO

When you open a 13-year-old PC that has never been opened and there's so much dust that even the vacuum is like "plz no" 😑

New rant = Rant.type(['non-dev', 'public transportation']).init()

So i am taking the bus now to see a friend, and this fucking whale woman comes on board with a baby caddy, except, it wasn't for a baby, but for a fucking dog the size of a brick. That already in itself makes me grumble because dogs have fucking legs and there is no fucking real need to carry them around like newborns.... Anyways this woman sits and takes up a lot of space for the 'handicapped' persons for her fucking baby dog... So far no real issue there since people with disabilities hardly get on this bus line. A fzw bus stops later an equally whale black woman gets on the bus, obviously struggling with her size and her caddy filled with groceries...

There is enough room to accomodate the baby caddy and her groceries.
That fucking white whale says to her 'there is no room there, move someplace else'... The black woman stands there in disbelief, and this is the first time i look up, giving the 'the fuck you just say bitch' look to the white whale. I mention there is enough room and the black whale sits carefully next to the dog caddy.

Now the bus takes a sharp turn, the dog caddy tips over due to the g-forces it causes...and inmediately this white whale shouts to the black whale 'fucking retard, don't tip my dog over!' this while the black woman apologises for the fall of the caddy not even being her fault...

This angered me so puch that i rantzd to this woman: 'madam, thzre is such a thing called physics, the bus made a sharp turn and your stupud useless space-wasting dog caddy tipped over bzcause of that. Don't just go accusing people for your own degenerate racist lifestyle. I suggest you hold on to it and apologise to the lady'

She then murmles incomprehensibly and gives a butthurt look, rhe black woman thanks me and tries to remain very quiet on her seat, eventually she gets off

This fucking thing makes me angry to a level i wanna toeturz that whale by peeling off her skin with garden fence metal wiri g, suck the fat out of her body and brain with an industrial vacuum cleaner and put her in the fucking oven baking in her own fat, of course without any anesthetics...

Damnit all to hell!

Also, why on earth do dogs need caddy's? They got perfectly fine legs!

I know, sadist inside

I never liked cleaning my room.... usually the conversation goes like this

Dad: clean ur room
Me: meh... I'll do it later

$200 robot vacuum: clean ur room otherwise the crap on the floor will jam me
Me: ok ok... Give me a few mins

Worst disturbance while working?

Some of my faves:
- Mgr flying his new $400 drone around the office (hitting walls, ceiling, etc). I mentioned the price because he crashed it a week later (un-repairable kind of crash), so I didn't feel too sorry for his loss.
- Mgr trying out his new blowgun and blowing darts at a cardboard box down/bewtween the cube hallway (where anyone could walk out of at any time). We would hear the "pfffft" and a loud 'Yea!'.
- Mgr would walk by a cube entry-way, fart, and walk away laughing.
- Mgr called me into area and his desk+the floor area around his desk was covered in peanut shells.
Me: "Wow, you got a mess here."
Mgr: "Yea, got tired of trying to hit the trash can. Maintenance will vacuum the office this weekend."
The mess was one thing, but what disturbed me the most was this asshole thinks Maintenance-Jim has nothing better to do than clean up after this so-called adult.

Karma kicked in and an hour later the owner's wife (we're still a family owned company, so he+his wife are on friendly basis with everyone) stopped by to say hi and walked in on the mess.
June: "What do we have here!?"
Mgr: "Oh...um...uh..I was eating a few peanuts and putting the shells in the trash can and accidentally knocked it over. I was on my way to get the vacuum cleaner."
June: "Hmmm...this looks like more than a few. *You* clean it up right now and *never* let me see this again!"
Mgr: "Yes..yes ma'am...right now.."

Whole office heard the exchange and it was frickin' awesome.

Years ago we deployed this system with a SQL DB on a separate windows server.
Every now and then we had error messages saying that the system could not connect to the db. It was going on for about 5 minutes or so and then the db was up again.
We built a bunch of fallback logic to handle it gracefully.
Then one day one of the guys was in the "server room". It was not a real server room but like a dedicated office in another building.
He saw how the cleaning lady came in, unplugged the server's cable from the wall socket and plugged in the vacuum cleaner...

Still trying to get good.

The requirements are forever shifting, and so do the applied paradigms.

I think the first layer is learning about each paradigm.

You learn 5-10 languages/technologies, get a feeling for procedural/functional/OOP programming. You mess around with some electronics engineering, write a bit of assembly. You write an ugly GTK program, an Android todo app, check how OpenGL works. You learn about relational models, about graph databases, time series storage and key value caches. You learn about networking and protocols. You void the warranty of all the devices in your house at some point. You develop preferences for languages and systems. For certain periods of time, you even become an insufferable fanboy who claims that all databases should be replaced by MongoDB, or all applications should be written in C# -- no exceptions in your mind are possible, because you found the Perfect Thing. Temporarily.

Eventually, you get to the second layer: Instead of being a champion for a single cause, you start to see patterns of applicability.

You might have grown to prefer serverless microservice architectures driven by pub/sub event busses, but realize that some MVC framework is probably more suitable for a 5-employee company. You realize that development is not just about picking the best language and best architecture -- It's about pros and cons for every situation. You start to value consistency over hard rules. You realize that even respected books about computer science can sometimes contain lies -- or represent solutions which are only applicable to "spherical cows in a vacuum".

Then you get to the third layer: Which is about orchestrating migrations between paradigms without creating a bigger mess.

Your company started with a tiny MVC webshop written in PHP. There are now 300 employees and a few million lines of code, the framework more often gets in the way than it helps, the database is terribly strained. Big rewrite? Gradual refactor? Introduce new languages within the company or stick with what people know? Educate people about paradigms which might be more suitable, but which will feel unfamiliar? What leads to a better product, someone who is experienced with PHP, or someone just learning to use Typescript?

All that theoretical knowledge about superior paradigms won't help you now -- No clean slates! You have to build a skyscraper city to replace a swamp village while keeping the economy running, together with builders who have no clue what concrete even looks like. You might think "I'll throw my superior engineering against this, no harm done if it doesn't stick", but 9 out of 10 times that will just end in a mix of concrete rubble, corpses and mud.

I think I'm somewhere between 2 and 3.

I think I have most of the important knowledge about a wide array of languages, technologies and architectures.

I think I know how to come to a conclusion about what to use in which scenario -- most of the time.

But dealing with a giant legacy mess, transforming things into something better, without creating an ugly amalgamation of old and new systems blended together into an even bigger abomination? Nah, I don't think I'm fully there yet.

HOW FUCKING HARD CAN IT BE TO NOT STORE PASSWORDS IN CLEARTEXT AND THEN PROCEED TO SEND ME AN UNENCRYPTED EMAIL WITH THE PASSWORD IN IT??? THE SITE HAS A PREMIUM FUCKING SSL AND SAFETY CERTIFICATES YET THEY STILL DON'T COMPLY TO THIS? FUCK YOU! IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT I HAD TO ORDER A NEW SCREEN FOR MY BROKEN PHONE, YOU COULD'VE SUCKED BETTER THAN ME + VACUUM CLEANER.

Sorry abt that. But for real, mytrendphone stores passwords in plain texts and waves a fucking safety certificate in your face...

Had 2 days of vacation. Theoretically (plus weekend, plus 2 days) 6 days.

Worked today… At Saturday.

Some administrators forgot to properly check bandwidth limitations....

*rolls eyes*

We had a major version upgrade of some server software at Monday.

Guess why I got called...

Of course it MUST be the software upgrade.

It couldn't be the new hardware that was setup 2 weeks ago and on which a lot of "important" VMs were migrated.

*eyes roll inside till only white is visible*

The even more annoying thing is that it wasn't that hard to figure out.

Looking at monitoring, we had spikes on 20 Gbit/s (roughly 2.x Gigabyte/sec - Ethernet) connection of some server at roughly 1.9 plus Gigabyte/sec.

IO latency spikes that made the graph look like a heartbeat EKG with severe tachycardia...

*additionally to white eyes starts cursing in reverse latin*

Incompetent admin answer: Booboo that can only be your fault - the developers must investigate.

Me (just a tad more polite): Meep Meep mother fucker, get your shit together. If the software would eat that much, the network would be a niece chunk of charcoal. Plus the time (sending instead of links to monitoring pictures… guess the lazy fucktard who's brain is a vacuum didn't even bother to check it)...

NOTICE SOMETHING?!

Incompetent admin: It starts at the same time. Always.

After wasting roughly another hour of time discussing with him, I just hanged up the video call.

Called someone I knew from the admin department and turns out that - drumrolls please - the incompetent admin was someone who got recruited 3 months ago…

*turning into antichrist*

I then had a not so polite discussion about how the only competent people could take days off (all except incompetent admin were on vacation) and the seemingly incompetent fresh recruit - who by the way NEVER mentioned this - was the only one left of the admin department. Which would be bad alone, but no - he even got the 24/7 emergency support role for the whole weekend.

Sometimes this company and HR especially notoriously drive me insane...

Guess next week there will be some HR barbecue.

But yeah. After a lot of raging around we nailed it down to the traffic of backups and could fix it.

Roughly 4 hours of analysis, communication, raging and hatred.

Just one hour implementing shit.

*goozfraba*

Thanks to @C0D4 I rediscovered Folding@Home!

I've been running this on a very powerful server at home at full-speed for a few days now (quite some cores being used to the max right now, it's like I have a vacuum cleaner running full-time in my place 😄)

Then, last night it hit me that I have quite a few servers running close to idle (rented ones).....

I'm now running a total of 4 servers at full capacity with Folding@Home.

Can recommend!

When you're trying to clean your keyboard with a vacuum and the F10 key went missing...

I fucking love HP.

Why, you may ask, given that I've ranted about their crap so many times now? Great question!

I love HP because every time I go to town on their hardware because yet again it got me infuriated somehow, I don't feel bad about it afterwards. Instead I feel oddly satisfied, liberated from another piece of crap from them. And besides, usually it's their or Acer's shitty hardware that gets me worked up anyway.

That said, fuck you HP. Filthy Microsucking pieces of shit.

.. anyway. I've just went around disassembling an old vacuum cleaner this morning, to liberate its 800W single phase AC motor. I'll probably have to underrun it with a step-down transformer but at e.g. 200VAC it should probably work no problem 🙂

Unpopular opinion: Fuck laptops

Even with proper care and monthly maintenance, they're still loud as a vacuum cleaner, and hot as a fucking stove. Yes I know it's a bit hotter these days and maybe mine isn't the latest top of the line model, but even my gf's Inspirion 17R (old I know, but she got one unused) tho relatively quiet, heats up as all hell even when it's on a cooling pad as soon as you try to do anything on it.
Maybe I'm alone on this, but I just think that when it comes to laptops, it's go big or go home. My Desktop PC is a relic of the past, but it still purrs like a fucking kitten, even under heavy loads in this weather

1. Hit everything you do. You will learn more faster. Don't accept things at face value, care about why things work.

2. Study and experiment constantly. Be aware of your surroundings and what is going on. If you're not ready with a solution when a power vacuum appears, you will always be a grunt. Or worse, eventually a manager who everyone hates because you constantly tell the people who report to you how "back in your day," your code was amazing, there were no bugs and your shit doesn't stink.

3. Be honest with yourself: If you just want to keep your nose to the grindstone and make manager so you don't have to code anymore:

Quit. Stop now. Do not pass go, do not become a cancer on the industry.

Go get a job as a PM, you'll have a better career and you won't be the weak link holding everyone else back.

Tl;dr When the shit goes down, you better be ready.

!rant

TL;DR: "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness can be deadly"

Couldn't stop my laughter after reading this one.

A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door….

A lady opened it. Before she could speak... The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow dung on the carpet.

Salesman: - Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!!

Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?

Salesman: - Why Madam?

Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!!

😂😂😂

This kid on the tape is me. I'm not even two years old there and I'm already messing around with wires.

Five minutes later on that tape I figured out how to turn the vacuum cleaner on and tried to tie it to the cassette deck.

No wonder why I'm a programmer now 😂

Interesting. A few hours ago I had a nice domestic conversation with my coleague about robot vacuum cleaners. He was talking about iRobot Roomba and I was talking about Xiaomi. Here's the result!

Interesting thing is that we talked in a *voice* conversation. Over Slack. Over Chrome. Over corporate VPN (openconnect).

Where's the spying link? Slack or Chrome?

My bet's on Chrome.

What does that tell you about the privacy of your sensitive conversations? :)
Hide behind VPNs all you like. If you have proprietary software (or hardware in the case of Huawei) - you're being watched and listened to.

EDIT: I'm on Linux, he's on MacOS

Have you heard about Apple's new vacuum cleaner?

It's supposed to be the only Apple product that DOESN'T suck

Fixing the fucking vacuum cleaner, looks like it finally died, dunno how and why, maybe the carbon brushes in the motor are gone or it's just full of dust and crap because noone changes the fucking dust filter... ever!

FUCK SPOTIFY
This bloated buggy piece of shit
This fucking piece of bull dick that runs efficiently as much as a legless cockroach this motherfucker thinks its offline even though its in the motherfucking browse screen and I have a 4.5g connection (this retarded cunt) fills space faster than a hot gas released in a vacuum chamber just to fix its goddamn internet bug I have to reboot my damn phone. I see so many damn bugs in this shitty app that I think they rolled back to the alpha versions sometimes if I had any other god damn alternatives (google music is not available where Im from fuck you too google) the only thing I would give them would be my middle fingers. It just fucking froze on me while I'm just trying to listen to my Retrowave playlist while I fucking get ready for bed FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU YOU RETARDED INFECTION FILLED CUNT I WOULD PUT A BIKE CHAIN ON MY DICK AND RAM YOU WHILE WE ARE TIED TO A CAR THAT DRIVES OFF OF A CLIFF IF YOU WEREN'T AN INCOMPETENTLY PUT TOGETHER 1S AND 0S

Many people asked me this.

Every programming language is made of another, and because of it is the lowest level language every language is made of it. So what does assembly made of?
...

When you buy a vacuum cleaner they give you instructions to how to use it. When processor producer creates a processor they give an instruction to how to use it. Assembly programming language is nothing but an instruction that processor producer gave us.

Today's finished projects :
Mini vacuum cleaner:
Works. Just need better patles to be really effective.
Portable lighter wire solderer :
Busted.
Works but the flame must be always on. Takes time to heat. Good for a tight spot and you can buy the tools for it anywhere.
Many if the coil is more open... I'll check on beta 2 (not quitting yet)

I gotta say I never understood owning a Roomba until my wife got me an off-brand Deebot one for my birthday. I named it “The Kraken”, as in “release the...” because it sees nothing and devours all. My kids can now rest easy because they won’t hear me complain about how the floor is always dirty and how nobody wants to vacuum but me. Now I just fire up the app, hit “Auto”, and The Kraken cleans my house. It even mops! I feel bad for the doggo, though.

Was playing fallout 4 a couple days ago. About 20 minutes in. The computer just shuts off. Like no power at all. I start up the computer again. Try fallout 4 again. It shuts off at the beginning video. WTF... I try Skyrim wondering if video card is busted. Skyrim runs perfectly fine. I startup Fallout 4 again. It runs. WTF...

Next day I try fallout and bout 20 minutes in power off again. Now I am assuming cooling issue and I am trying to see temps with programs. Cannot really tell.

So today I take apart my laptop and vacuum every cooling orifice out. Vacuum any dust looking crap I can see. There was dust in the fans. All clean. I run a memory test for a couple hours. Memory passes (it was brand new memory, thought maybe flaw in ram). Now I run fallout 4. Runs fine, zero issues for about an hour.

Me to myself: CLEAN YOUR DAMN COMPUTER MORE OFTEN! Okay...

In between I read about Fallout 4 causing system reboots and shutdowns due to loading and heating. Apparently something about Fallout 4 causes this more than other games. Wild... Pretty sure it was thermal shutdown protection going on.

The more I work with performance, the less I like generated queries (incl. ORM-driven generators).

Like this other team came to me complaining that some query takes >3minutes to execute (an OLTP qry) and the HTTP timeout is 60 seconds, so.... there's a problem.

Sure, a simple explain analyze suggests that some UIDPK index is queried repeatedly for ~1M times (the qry plan was generated for 300k expected invocations), each Index Scan lasts for 0.15ms. So there you go.. Ofc I'd really like to see more decimal zeroes, rather than just 0.15, but still..

Rewriting the query with a CTE cut down the execution time to pathetic 0.04sec (40ms) w/o any loops in the plan.

I suggest that change to the team and I am responded a big fat NO - they cannot make any query changes since they don't have any control on their queries

....
*sigh*
....
*sigh*
but down to 0.04sec from 3+ minutes....
*sigh*

alright, let's try to VACUUM ANALYZE, although I doubt this will be of any help. IDK what I'll do if that doesn't change the execution plan :/ Prolly suggest finding a DBA (which they won't, as the client has no € for a DBA).

All this because developers, the very people sho should have COMPLETE control over the product's code, have no control over the SQLs.

This sucks!

I told you it'll never work. If one .50BMG bullet is enough to destroy the entire tube thing, we have a deal-breaker. Not to mention large vacuum chambers are a bitch to maintain.

Made an order for 3 bubble teas + 1 vacuum from Amazon. Somehow they came all in 1 tall box...

I thought they'd be in 2 packages since they were in different departments but I'm wondering what the layout of Amazon warehouses are and who/what decides that all these things can fit in one box...

Architect: "Inline sql is just as performant as a stored procedure and since it is in code its safer and easier to maintain."

Me, inside my head: "I bet I could do the pencil trick on him from 'The Dark Knight' and it wouldn't hurt him as much as suck the world into the small hole in the front of his head since it is clearly a vacuum which was meant to destroy the earth. This is an obvious plant by the lizard people as a test to see if we could identify them. Killing him would be a..."

Architect: "I mean isn't it still a best practice."

Me, out loud and deadpan: "No, that is wrong and it was never a best practice. "

Me, inside my head: "Crisis averted."

Dear Facebook.

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING CUNTS.
The next time you upgrade your piece of shit application on iOS and remove stuff from their place which makes me search all the way your crap battery vacuum application until i fuckin find it i will come to your office find that dumb zuckerberk and push the fuckin chair he sits at down to his throat.

Same goes for your retarded website.
Suckers.

Yesterday I found out that the dirt bag/filter in my vacuum was missing.... So all the dirt ended up in or around the fan... Still worked though but I figured should get a replacement bag... Which isn't should separately.

So I pull up the order in Amazon and go to the product page to see how much it cost.

List price was $30 but there happened to be a lightning deal reducing it to **24.99**

So I just bought it because I happened to be on 30-day Prime trial... So had free shipping no matter what.

But I wonder now was it actually perfect luck or an algorithm at work...

Would I have bought it at $30 or if I didn't have Prime and needed to make up the 1c?

Was this basically just tricking me into buying asap and trying to convince me to keep prime...

11:30AM is NOT the best time to vacuum around here!!!!

Something "very" unique happened to me this morning/night: I've managed to lose my sleepiness after just 7:45 hours of sleep (interrupted sleep, actual sleep was more like 5 hours). I had trouble falling asleep and woke up like 4-5 times in total. Last time I woke up at around 7:50am I decided to put up some white noise (vacuum cleaner sounds on yt) to relax me and at least make me feel like I'm having a superficial sleep.

PS: I usually sleep 10+ hours without even trying, most of the time I only wake up from bed so I don't feel bad for wasting half my day doing basically nothing. I start work at 11am and even then it's still hard for me to wake up at around 10am, sometimes I just pay Uber to get me to work just for the extra 20-30 mins of sleep.

Ugh, meetings - the productivity vacuum of corporate life. Like who's got time for those never-ending discussions and PowerPoint slogs. 🙄💼

I bought medion md 19500 vacuum cleaner refurbished for about 74 usd, it can be controlled using ir remote

I disconnected vacuum top and it’s still working so my plan is to use arduino instead of attached remote to control robot

I can try to identify where ir sensor is to directly connect to it, but don’t know if my skills are enough to do it.

edit:
to compare, roomba create 3 costs 450$ and I can buy this vacuum used without remote for 38 usd

Man...

Why is it by any means helpful to know whether the ENIAC had 1 000 000 vacuum tubes, or not? (Spoiler: it had far less)

We have this fucking inevitable optional c(o)urse for the last year and last semester at my Uni, called History of Computer Science. It would be totally fine, if we had learnt something really useful, or at least something really close to general knowledge, but no... Instead we should fucking know, who wasn't part of the team designing the ENIAC from a list of 6 people.

I guess our teacher should really go and rest as she is way over the minimum retirement age... and this is way below my expectations about our teachers being on the academic level...

Devrant should have a "preview" image option for images uploaded on a rant. You could just end up uploading images of you and your vacuum cleaner doing some "cleaning"
@dfox

3d Prints.
So... At this time we think that everything is already invented...
And I keep making new stuff...
New Idea, mini vacuum cleaner... only found one design online and was so badly done... So I made mine.
Happens all the time... Search, nothing I like, do it myself. And worst, I'm not even good at CAD programs lol.

Any Ideas for tools to make?

!rant
I'll move in with my girlfriend in August. So it's time to get a cleaning robot!
To either iRobot Roomba or Neato Botvac.

Which would you suggest and why? From the readings I've done so far, when it's about performance it's Roomba 980 >= Botvac Connected > Roomba 880, but then again the Roomba 980 is a lot more expensive.

Is there a dev, as lazy as I am with hands on expirience?

Note: there will be only a small carpet below the table in the living room and the appartment will have 4 rooms: living, sleeping, kitchen and bath. As the house is a little older, there's a "obstacle" the doors between the rooms to climb of about 1cm.

Thanks for suggestions in advance. On another note: I'm planing to get connected lightbulps and speakers, so we'll be able to control most of the stuf from our smartphones. So far I don't see any advantages, incorporating a vacuum bot in there, as long as you can set a scedule, any thoughts on that?

Anything made by asus is a fucking garbage.

My first asus laptop was eee pc 701. It had only 2 gigabytes “ssd” which was just a flash drive using usb 2.0 inside. Doing this instead of using a proper sata ssd is like using bunch of rats glued to a frisbee instead of roomba vacuum. It displayed “intel 800mhz processor” in settings but this was only the processor’s name string, in fact it was only 640mhz single core. I still managed to install totally stripped version of windows xp to it and play some old games but overall it was horrible. It also heated up as hell.

My second asus laptop was infamous z99h. It had windows vista and was slow as hell right out of the box. Also BOTH hinges broke in just like six months. It was horrible as well. The screen itself broke in a year.

I also used asus rt-series router and it required a restart every day just to deliver some wifi. Don’t you dare tell me to “uPdATe fIrMwArE”, I pay money for the product and I expect it to work right outside the box.

Asus smartphones was also garbage.

So why have asus laptop if you can have a real laptop like MacBook or thinkpad? Why have asus phone if you can have a real smartphone like iPhone or pixel? Why have asus router if you can have ubiquiti?

Asus drivers suck, and all of asus software is just bloatware.

Should I connect my vacuum roboter to Travis CI/Appveyor and let it start cleaning on each successful deploy for a minute?

Just collecting ideas for the time it arrives and I root it :D

!dev

Fuck, I hate moving. All the tearing down and subsequent assembly takes sooo bloody long. And you have to be extra careful not to destroy all your (no so) cheap IKEA furniture when taking off the screws and nails. ~Lê stupid me didn't think he'd have to disassemble this stuff, so I actually used nails. D'oh. So now I have some splintered wood. Congrats, you cockwomble. Good luck repairing that.
I'll use screws (torx head, of course) when reassembling though, not making the same mistake again.

Oh, and then there's all the dust and cobwebs and fucking spiders living under the furniture, because I can't tilt my wardrobe to vacuum underneath it. Just. Fucking. Lovely.

On the upside, I get to do an early spring cleaning on all my accumulated trash. New apartment is gonna be so clean and minimal, you'd mistake it for a monastic meditation room. With a pair of monitors and my beautiful desktop to the side. Meditation is lovely, but I also pray to the silicon and transistor gods. Need mah tech shrine.

Biggest disturbance would be a colleague, but even worse if one of those colleagues has a vacuum cleaner 😒

If a vacuum is performing poorly, does it suck?

him: get dressed, is not summer anymore
her: I'm cleaning and I'm hot...if you wish you can undress and go to the other room, where is the vacuum cleaner
him: 👀

They dont mention it in any reviews but dell has cooling problems. Yesterday I bought a brand new g5 from a shop and fans were not spinning until 80c from which it started spinning at 4900rpm like a vacuum. Note that I have latest bios so its not temperature table problem in bios.

I found out that there is a driver for thermal power which you can install and for most people it does the work (runs 2200 rpm silent cooling for most of time and 4900 rpm when cpu gpu temp goes above around 60c which is annoying)

So I had to spend entire day on figuring out how to control cooling fans myself. And even then dell limited available speeds in bios at 0, 2200 and 4900 rpm.

Anyways now my cooling fans run at 2200 rpm until 70c and 4900 after. So i get some nice silent performance for 90% of what I do and as for gaming, full fans after 75c is fine. I ran DOOM from steam and max temps Ive got were around 85-90c which is pretty high, so Im thinking of doing a repaste event though im afraid of voiding the warranty.

My upright A/C doesn't have both an outside intake and exhaust, just an outside exhaust, so it intakes through the back.

My cat S&D'd right next to the intake while it was on full blast.

just had to evacuate the room and pull the smell out with my grandpa's weird closed-door air purifier thing
(it goes across the entire doorgap at top and bottom and is basically a massive vacuum that sucks everything through an industrial air filter and blows it back into the room cleaner on the other side, looks and works well for being homemade)

on second thought where do all these strange gadgets my family has come from