Samsung.

They basically have Chinese crapware on many phones, disguised as "Smart Manager" or some bs. It's "powered by Clean Master". Clean Master is crapware developed by Cheetah Mobile.

Dude! We have toilets on each floor. Why do you push shit on git?

Go fork yourself.

My views on the github/MS thingy.

I've had to explain in at least 20+ rants that some people might have legitimate reasons/opinions for disagreeing with this deal. I find it quite bad that I even have to say this but that aside for this rant.

Microsoft is a commercial company which does a lot for open source, that's a fact.

In my case, I mostly look at the part of Microsoft in regard to how they treat users and user privacy as this, in my opinion, shows for a great deal how trustworthy a company is.

It's publicly known that Microsoft joined the prism surveillance program in 2007 which in my opinion also meant selling out all users.
Next to that, through at least windows 10 it has done quite intrusive user tracking which I also see as a betrayal to its users.

I could go on and on about cases but I've made my point on at least microsoft.

As for github selling itself to Microsoft, this most likely means that it'll also be integrated within the prism network. That's my main point of concern as to why I disagree of this deal and have lost my trust in github for selling to a company which, imo, has absolutely no respect for its users' privacy and has ethics I entirely disagree with.

I still haven't formed an opinion on the rest of arguments out there as, due to a medical thing, I'm hardly able to focus right now.

You might agree or disagree, that's your very right and that's perfectly fine. Just don't say that I haven't come with an actual argument/opinion as for why I disagree with this deal.

Meeting with asshole partner company CEO at restaurant.

Me: "I'm a bit worried about the bugs in your API. There are some ways to retrieve privacy sensitive info from public endpoints"

CEO: "Well, we're a rapidly growing startup!"

Me: "Uh... so?"

CEO: "So... Move Fast and Break Things! Priority is to improve our API further, and we'll fix bugs as they show up"

Me: "Maybe you should stop trying to emulate Zuckerberg in your management style. You know that even Facebook themselves admitted that their slogan was a retarded mistake"

Waiter shows up at table. CEO orders some overly expensive fish salad.

CEO: "Well, they have done something right... they're worth billions"

Waiter asks me: "And you sir, have you made your choice?"

Me: "Do you serve popcorn?"

CEO: "Popcorn for lunch?"

Me: "No, for your congressional hearing"

BLOCKCHAIN?

Told my Boss Server is Down. He told me to go downstairs and work there.

The feeling when you realize the DDoS attacker is yourself because of some stupid JavaScript bug which resulted in an infinite loop which happens to make requests to your server...

Code I wrote: 15kb
NPM Modules: 198Mb

My stressball went on vacation

If you're reading this you're doing it wrong.

Dear people who complain about spending a whole night to find a tiny syntax error; Every time I read one of your rants, I feel like a part of me dies.

As a developer, your job is to create elegant optimized rivers of data, to puzzle with interesting algorithmic problems, to craft beautiful mappings from user input to computer storage and back.

You should strive to write code like a Michelangelo, not like a house painter.

You're arguing about indentation or getting annoyed by a project with braces on the same line as the method name. You're struggling with semicolons, misplaced braces or wrongly spelled keywords.

You're bitching about the medium of your paint, about the hardness of the marble -- when you should be lamenting the absence of your muse or the struggle to capture the essence of elegance in your work.

In other words:

Fix your fucking mindset, and fix your fucking tools. Don't fucking rant about your tabs and spaces. Stop fucking screaming how your bloated swiss-army-knife text editor is soooo much better than a purpose-built IDE, if it fails to draw something red and obnoxious around your fuck ups.

Thanks.

GF: What are you doing there?
Dev: I've been trying to reproduce a bug for two hours now...
GF: You need two bugs the opposite sex, otherwise they won't reproduce.

From a sad true story.

Bot commits suicide

Customer: ... and can you also disable right-click to prevent our website's content from being copied?

Me:

Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?

--- a few days later ---

Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*

So i was playing around with terminal apps in node.js a few weeks ago and made a CLI version of devrant. Images get converted to ascii just for fun. This is about was far as it goes for me though - anyone want to take it over? (The code is shit - this was a midnight proof of concept). Currently there's pretty much just the rant listings, the login works too but I think @dfox would need to approve it's use.

Next script I'm writing is going to be a terminal rant posting tool so I can rant from my server 😉

$ rant -m "fml" -f ~/screenshot.jpg -t "lol"

When you're a front end developer and want to use a hashtag.

Friend: So you're a programmer? You must be good in hacking WiFis and sht.
Me: Uhm..
Friend: Can you hack my PayPal account using HTML?
Me: Say no more.

Don't lie on your CV.

"Yesterday's code today's mystery"

-all coders

Fucking useless languages that compile into other languages but provide no real benefit other than some trendy syntax crap.

suddenly while you introduce yourself to everyone..

512 looks like a more rounded number than 500.

How to make sure your users appreciate your work

Hahaha :-p ❤

It happens all the time...

As much as i love Ubuntu... This is so true.

Advanced 🐐 (goat) recognition technology
Sounds scary! 🐲!👻!
Android is moving to next level!
Beats iOS!

Anything with Jetbrains on the cover, IDEA, Android Studio, Clion. Can't imagine how I'd work if these IDEs weren't doing half the work for me.