I just had a client complaining on the phone that she read my database design documents and that they are all wrong and need to be done again. Because things like varchar and int are confusing. And nobody understands what they mean. She asked around and nobody understood it.

Ooh, and I should place the customer name in more then one table because it would be handy to have in several places.

Spend a hour on the phone trying to explain that these documents are not intended for her. They are not for her to understand.

I make these documents to build a stable product and in case something bad happens to me its easier to pick up for another developer.

Long story short.. I'm currently making a document that explains the database design... Getting paid for it..... But fucking hell. Somebody save me.

I knew I was about to get laid off so I stopped caring and started answering questions on stack overflow all day every day instead of working.

10k rep later I got a new job via stack overflow careers that pays twice as much.

Moral of the story? Be efficient... even when you are not.

a developer tried to pull weeds out of his garden, but alas he did not have root access 😂

devrant community is so great. May all of you get more RAM on your servers.

What the fuck student. Why in fuck would you submit a python assignment in word. So that all the formatting you know the stuff that tells python how to run the code all fucks up. How the fuck can I mark this.

LET'S LEARN ANGULAR2

* look for some good tutorial *
* download atom-typescript *
* type "ng new demo" in console"

1185 errors.

FINISHED LEARNING ANGULAR2

JavaScript:

> "5" - 2
3

> "5" + 2
"52"

Enjoy coercion.

Kid : How many grams are one kilograms.

Me: 1024 grams.

Kid : :/

Employer: "You know Html5 and Css3??

Me: "Of course! And Javascript."

Employer: "GREAT! We develope WordPress."

Me: 😊😊😊👋💣

My 7 year old sister: Why do you always use the duck? Go on google.

Me: Because Google spies on you.

Sister: How??

Me: *too tired to explain* by magic. Whatever you go on, they'll know.

Sister: *shocked expression* WHAT? *proceeds to ask a million questions.*

Sister: What do I do now?

Me: Use the duck (she calls ddg "the duck.")

Then a few hours later, I saw her playing Y8 on DuckDuckGo. I'm so proud of her. :)

Now if only I can convince my 15 year old little brother to do the same thing. He doesn't seem to care at all.

Twice today I've spoken up in meetings and was totally ignored. I guess my idea wasn't even worth a reply? :-/

Five minutes later: oh, right, I forgot I'd muted myself.

- @bradfitz

Client: "This has been broken for weeks! Why is it still broken!?!?"

Me: "Did you tell anyone it was broken?"

Client: "Well...um...no..."

I may be good at my job, but I have not been able to (nor do I want to) develop mind-reading abilities. Now please fuck off (so that I can go fix it).

My thoughts on programming:

As a child:
It is 100% magic

As a developer:
It is 65% if/else statements, 34% iterating an array, 1% actual amazing and unique code

Backend engineer doing frontend. The eternal struggle of centering an object.

Normal guy: it's difficult to understand girls

Me: ha! Try JavaScript

I closed atom in frustration and installed vscode.

I...

I think....

I think I'm in love....

My company is a joke so I wrote my resignation in comic sans. 🤷🏼‍♀️

There are 11 types of people: those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who are tired of seeing this binary joke.

Just heard the principal engineer say "C Hash" 😱

Same here