Whoever designed the USB plug to fit perfectly in an Ethernet port: I hate you!

My workplace is relatively safe in case of a zombie apocalypse: no brains

Friend: "Why did you buy a Macbook Pro? Look at the specs, the RAM, the storage, the processor.. heck, ain't it overpriced? I wouldn't if I were you"

Me: "No, I didn't buy it. My company gave it to me when I joined them."

Friend: "Oh.. okay... hey, is there any job opening in your company?"

Changing numbers on CSS randomly until it works.

Aka, using magic numbers

Click Edit > Copy, click Edit > Paste.

Every. Single. Time.

To the guy that invented NULL...
Thanks for nothing.

*This is a corrected version of the dad joke originally containing zero.

"I did a windows update on my iPhone, and now Google maps won't work" (my mom's client, looking at Apple Maps)

Client didn't pay?
Don't worry, I have come across this beautiful repo with a great idea :P

https://github.com/kleampa/not-paid

My girlfriend always takes pics of me coding saying it looks beautiful lol... I once told her that code is like a beautiful woman who is sick and you're the doctor and can't figure out what's wrong and occasionally ask your rubber duck for help...

Hey everyone,

For about the last 24 hours, there was unfortunately an issue with the algo feed where scrolling did not show more rants. This has now been fixed.

One of our background queues stopped processing for some reason which caused rants to not properly get marked as read for algo.

If you notice any other issues with this, please let me know. Thanks!

Give someone a program, you frustrate them for a day; teach them how to program, you frustrate them for a lifetime. — David Leinweber

Sleep schedule : fucked 😮
Eating schedule : fucked 😓
Me : not getting fucked 😭

Dear public transport,

please don't advertise your fucking free wifi if you don't give enough bandwidth to even load freaking Google.

Dear sincerely,
Me

WHATTT?!! I need 10 WHOLE POINTS JUST TO BUILD AN AVATAR!!! What kind of person would set such a high amount of points just to CREATE AN AVATAR! Do you know how hard that is for an introvert... ugg What kind of post should I rant about? I could rant about that one problem with HTML <divs>.. but then everyone would laugh at how simple that was... I could rant about how long I have had to live without this app. No no that would be way to big of a rant... hmmm. OH I KNOW!

Just told my girl about GitHub.
Told her that it was something like PornHub. She's mad now.😂

# I'll show myself out

He: Hey could you please help me with my code?
Me: mhmm ok..
He: I've made this and this and this and this...aaand this and this and... Oh that is the problem. Thx for your help bro.

I'm proud to be a rubber duck.

My brother logging in to my facebook to post "i m gayy".

Things were simpler back then.

Before an interview prepare a list of questions for them, they expect it!
My list to give inspiration:

Describe your company culture? - if the response is buzzword heavy, avoid.

What’s the oldest technology still in use? - all companies have legacy systems but some are worse than others

Describe your agile process? - a few companies I’ve interviewed with said they are agile but it’s actually kanban

Are developers involved with customers?- if they trust you to talk to customers you can infer trust to do your job ( I’m sure others will disagree)

Describe your development environment?- do they have such a thing as dev, test and prod?

These are the only ones I can remember but should give others a bit of inspiration I hope 😄

That moment when your coworker puts on loud music, you're wondering if your boss is going to like this and then your boss turns his music twice as loud and the two start a battle of who can play their music the loudest.

Yup it was friday again!

Costumer: I found a 40 line python script on Stackoverflow to do that.

Dev team: ok, now... how many lines you think we will need to put the python interpreter, libraries and your 40 line script inside an Android and iOS apps with legacy code?