Guy: "We just can't finish this in 1 month!"

Boss: "Yeah you can, I'll hire more people."

Guy: "... You know, a woman can deliver a baby in 9 months but 9 women can't deliver a baby in 1 month."

DO YOU FUCKING SERIOUSLY TELL US IN THE SECOND SEMESTER OF OUR MASTERS DEGREE THAT WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL THAT ARRAYS START WITH 0?!?

Me: my computer is dead, are you using the iMac?

Sister: your computer is dead because of the coding! Even my friend agrees that coding causes viruses

Last hour of my job today:

Hardstyle blasting out of the speakers at full volume

Everyone drinking a beer

Boss coming in with "Fuck this shit we're gonna game!"

This is what I call a good end of the work week 😍

Defragmentation

[via https://twitter.com/jeremiahtolbert...]

Well...

Fucking Methods starting with "Get" and return is void.

void GetTheFuckOut()

Petition to officially rename the term 'build' to 'kraken', so QA can shout 'Release the Kraken' and I can shout back 'The Kraken has been released!'.

*Changes code*
*alt + tab to website*
*ctrl + s to save changes*

FUUUUUU...

"IoT is awesome~!"

"What things about it do you love?"

"Hm, hold on a second. Oh dear."

"Something wrong?"

"Just a sec. My Fridge is getting DDoS'd"

Me: *Puts on headphones*

5 minutes later

College: Hey man you busy?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: I am, but what's the issue?

Help him, Put headphones back on.

5 minutes later

Intern: I need help
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Fine, I've got time

Help her, Put headphones back on.
Beginning to feel a little pissed.

5 minutes later

PM: Can i get your help quickly?
Me: Can i finish this quickly?
PM: It won't take long
Me: Fine.
Me: *Takes off headphones*

Help her out, put headphones back on.

An hour later

Team Leader: Are you done yet?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Almost
Team Leader: How can you not be done yet?
Me: Ask everyone around you?

He bitches for about 30 minutes.

I decide not to put my headphones on and just float in the river of how pissed i am.

4 Fucken hours goes by, nobody wants jack shit.
Me: *Puts headphones on*

5 minutes later

Team Leader: Hey man can you help me out?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Sure Fine.

FUCK!!! EVERY! FUCKEN TIME!!!

Don't forget the WHERE in the DELETE FROM.

!rant
Has anyone been paying attention to what Google's been up to? Seriously!

1) Fuchsia. An entire OS built from the ground up to replace Linux and run on thin microcontrollers that Linux would bog down — has GNU compilers & Dart support baked in.

2) Flutter. It's like React Native but with Dart and more components available. Super Alpha, but there's "Flutter Gallery" to see examples.

3) Escher. A GPU-renderer that coincidentally focuses on features that Material UI needs, used with Fuchsia. I can't find screenshots anywhere; unfortunately I tore down my Fuchsia box before trying this out. Be sure to tag me in a screenshot if you get this working!

4) Progressive Web Apps (aka Progress Web APKs). Chrome has an experimental feature to turn Web Apps into hybrid native apps. There's a whole set of documentation for converting and creating apps.

And enough about Google, Microsoft actually had a really cool announcement as well! (hush hush, it's really exciting for once, trust me)...
Qualcomm and Microsoft teamed up to run the full desktop version of Windows 10 on a Snapdragon 820. They go so far as to show off the latest version of x86 dekstop Photoshop with no modifications running with excellent performance. They've announced full support for the upcoming Snapdragon 835, which will be a beast compared to the 820! This is all done by virtualization and interop libraries/runtimes, similar to how Wine runs Windows apps on Linux (but much better compatibility and more runtime complete).

Lastly, (go easy guys, I know how much some of you love Apple) I keep hearing of Apple's top talent going to Tesla. I'm really looking forward to the Tesla Roof and Model 3. It's about time someone pushed for cheap lithium cells for the home (typical AGM just doesn't last) and made panels look attractive!

Tech is exciting, isn't it!?

Ha good try

Yeah...Windows...

welcome to hogwarts

Our university syllabus is so outdated, we are forced to do C programs in TurboC.
So we install Dosbox on Windows 8 machines...
1 upvote = 1 prayer

margin-right: -100px !important

SAVAGE 😂😂😂

If you start your npm install script at exactly 11:52:04 on New Year's eve, it will finish at exactly midnight.

Start off your 2019 right.