I accidentally sent my bachelor thesis to the 3D-printer. It printed a big peace of shit.

Girlfriend thinks the only reason I feel her breasts is because I don't have a DevRant stress ball 🙈🤔🤓

I want to pay respects to my favourite teacher by far.

I turned up at university as a pretty arrogant person. This was because I had about 6 years of self-taught programming experience, and the classes started from the ansolute basics. I turned up to my first classes and everything was extremely easy. I felt like I wouldn't learn anything for at least a year.

Then, I met one of my lecturers for the first time. He was about 50~60 years old and had been programming for all of his career. He was known by everyone to be really strict and we were told by other lecturers that it could be difficult for some people to be his student.

His classes were awesome. He was friendly, but took absolutely no shit, and told everything as it was. He had great stories from his life, which he used to throw out during the more boring computer science topics. He had extremely strict rules for our programming style, and bloody good reasons for all of them. If we didn't follow a clear rule on an assignment, he'd give us 0%. To prove how well this worked, nobody got 0%.

We eventually learned that he was that way because he used to work on real-time systems for the military, where if something didn't work then people could die.

This was exactly what I needed. In around one semester I went from a capable self-taught kid, to writing code that was clear, maintainable and fast, without being hacky.

I learned so much in just that small time, and I owe it all to him. So often when I write code now I think back to his rules. Even if I disagree with some, I learned to be strict and consistent.

Sadly, during the break between our first and second year, he passed away due to illness. There was so many lessons still to be learned from him, and there's now no teachers with enough knowledge to continue his best modules like compiler writing.

He is greatly missed, I've never had greater respect for a teacher than for him.

Had to debug an issue,

*ssh user@domain*
"some wild network connection issue"
*hmm weird.. *
*checks everything again*
*hmm seems alright.. *
*tries again*
*same damn error*
*ssh -v user@domain*
*syntax error thingy on the -v part*
😮
*messages co-worker asking what the fuck could be giving on*
"ey mate check your aliases 😂"
*alias"
"alias ssh="echo {insert network connection issue"*

*loud laughing from the co-worker I messaged*

MOTHERFUCKER 😆

Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you.

99% of the devs be like

catch(Exception e)
{
// Not a single fuck given
}

Our testers want us devs to start paying 50 cents for each bug the testers find. But they won't agree to paying us devs 50 cents for each bug that makes it into production.

Food arrives, boss grabs his food.

Boss: ahhhh finally! *looks lovingly at food* you won't hear me for the next 15 minutes 😍 *starts eating*
Me: well that was about fucking time.
Boss: 😐😶
Other engineers: 😂 *trying to keep food in*

Rare old picture of a Linux Sysadmin enjoying a mug of tea after a hard day at work

When there are only 2 pages on Google you know you're in serious shit.

I think I'll never going to get a devRant stress ball, so i made this instead with my pretty low budget (0.5$).

Who is capable of?

Decided to go hardcore Vim in 2018.

Shared screen with a client over Skype. Showed them in Postman that their API wasn't working as expected. It was expecting a json. Instead it was giving error code 400 instead of 200.
Message :
"Error: No error. All OK"

I'll never forget the words of the client:

"Don't use all this fancy software, you don't know how to call APIs, open Internet Explorer or chrome and paste it in the bar. You'll see All OK, means all is okay."

*insert you dense mf meme here*

Just shaved my beard and immediately regretted it. I look like a snail now... And my Linux skills are gone...

When your IDE is in dark mode but every webpage you visit has a white background... And alt-tabbing makes your eyes bleed.

My cat put a "j" in my code and i spent 2 hours to find it

- Why did this rm command take 2 seconds?
- OH FUCK....

First new job impression;
Me: you use Ubuntu as well? Nearly everyone does Linux here I see!
Co-worker: yup!
Me: So no windows?
CW: nahh, we want stuff that's fixable if it gets fucked. *mentions some things about windows*
Other co-worker: (obviously referring to windows) hey no swearing in here!

😄😅😆

I like it there!

The mobile web version of GitHub is absolute garbage. It's so shitty I don't even get why they bother. It lacks basic features like issue searching and the interface is so dumbed down everything just feels cheap and I always feel like I'm missing out.

All the devs I've talked to say they always just select "show desktop version." I do that too. It works perfectly. It's so fucking annoying. I wish they would just make a real mobile version, that's not missing features, or just default to the desktop app on mobile - works fine and everyone uses it anyway.