#truestory

I think I'll never going to get a devRant stress ball, so i made this instead with my pretty low budget (0.5$).

Who is capable of?

*Trying to finish up this project I'm doing*

Me: "Fuck this shit I'm done shit doesn't work"

*non-dev girlfriend sits in front of computer*

GF: "I believe this line shouldn't be here it messes up what happens in the loop. Or atleast that's what it looks"

*checking it*

Me: "So what's your ring size again"

Sister: today I discovered two new libraries
Me: what lang?
She: what?

She was talking about real libraries xD

my girlfriend knows how to work with linux based systems and she does not like apple products. She's the one!

Me: I’ve been in the web since 2006, of course i know html,css,javascript.
Also me: Google how to center a div.

The mobile web version of GitHub is absolute garbage. It's so shitty I don't even get why they bother. It lacks basic features like issue searching and the interface is so dumbed down everything just feels cheap and I always feel like I'm missing out.

All the devs I've talked to say they always just select "show desktop version." I do that too. It works perfectly. It's so fucking annoying. I wish they would just make a real mobile version, that's not missing features, or just default to the desktop app on mobile - works fine and everyone uses it anyway.

- Why did this rm command take 2 seconds?
- OH FUCK....

First new job impression;
Me: you use Ubuntu as well? Nearly everyone does Linux here I see!
Co-worker: yup!
Me: So no windows?
CW: nahh, we want stuff that's fixable if it gets fucked. *mentions some things about windows*
Other co-worker: (obviously referring to windows) hey no swearing in here!

😄😅😆

I like it there!

When your IDE is in dark mode but every webpage you visit has a white background... And alt-tabbing makes your eyes bleed.

My cat put a "j" in my code and i spent 2 hours to find it

Had to debug an issue,

*ssh user@domain*
"some wild network connection issue"
*hmm weird.. *
*checks everything again*
*hmm seems alright.. *
*tries again*
*same damn error*
*ssh -v user@domain*
*syntax error thingy on the -v part*
😮
*messages co-worker asking what the fuck could be giving on*
"ey mate check your aliases 😂"
*alias"
"alias ssh="echo {insert network connection issue"*

*loud laughing from the co-worker I messaged*

MOTHERFUCKER 😆

The joys of web dev

My screens have a different height, but luckily I solved the problem with c++

*code doesn't work*

-Run three times, just to be sure
-Its NOT the code, must be the project. Full rebuild.
-Run a few more times after rebuild didn't fix it.
-Google the issue.
-Stackoverflow must be wrong. The code is JUST like their solution.
-Run a few more times, but with your lucky underpants
-Reboot. Must be an operating system thing.
-Tea break. Give the issue time and it will fix itself.
-Run a few more times. Still unfixed
-Contact customer support.
-Walmart said they can't help.
-Consider writing your own language without this OBVIOUS flaw
-Kickstarter for c++++
-Raise $50,000
-Start a family
-Contact customer support again
-Run a few more times
-Now banned from Walmart
-Oh shit, missing a semicolon

Started sniffing the packets on a public wifi hotspot. Found someone was reading TheHackerNews and got excited.😲 Later realised it was myself. 😯

I had to add a "I'm not a robot" checkbox to protect an email address written in a page reachable only from our intranet. Boss asked, I executed.

Food arrives, boss grabs his food.

Boss: ahhhh finally! *looks lovingly at food* you won't hear me for the next 15 minutes 😍 *starts eating*
Me: well that was about fucking time.
Boss: 😐😶
Other engineers: 😂 *trying to keep food in*

Shared screen with a client over Skype. Showed them in Postman that their API wasn't working as expected. It was expecting a json. Instead it was giving error code 400 instead of 200.
Message :
"Error: No error. All OK"

I'll never forget the words of the client:

"Don't use all this fancy software, you don't know how to call APIs, open Internet Explorer or chrome and paste it in the bar. You'll see All OK, means all is okay."

*insert you dense mf meme here*