Well, it happened. The stupidest request, no demand, I have ever, and most likely will ever receive...

Me: So what is it you're looking to do with your website.

Client: We're not showing up Facebook's home page. We need you to fix that. We have a budget of $10,000 to make this happen right now.

Me: As much as I'd love to take your money, that isn't something I can control. Every "home page" is profile-based, which technically isn't a homepage, but a "feed" that changes constantly. So say you create a profile on Facebook, only those you follow, and paid posts show up on your feed. What I can do however is use your budget to create and promote posts from your company page to show on users' feeds. If you're serious about marketing, we can start slow at $250/week, then work our way up or down based on results until your budget is exhausted, then re-evaluate the budget at that time. I can tailor a retainer for you based on the number of ads per week that you'd like to make.

Client: No, this is not what we're asking for at all.

Me: Okay...what is it you're looking for exactly? Run through this in as much detail as possible so I can get on the same page.

Client: We want to be on the main home page of facebook.com. We want our logo on that page when people sign up to make an account, linking to our website.

Me: That's simply not possible. That's Facebook's own home page. Nobody has a right to edit that other than Facebook itself.

Client: Bullshit. There's a Facebook developers section with APIs to edit and view Facebook's entire website. We would do it ourselves, but we signed up and don't understand how to change it in Chrome. That's why we need you and [referring client] said you were the best guy for our needs.

Me: That API has no control over Facebook's corporate data, including their own home page. That API designed ONLY for sections in which you are authorized to access or modify, such as your personal profile or created page for your business.

Client: We know that it can be done. If you don't do it, we'll find someone else who can.

Me: Well good luck with that, because the only way it would be remotely possible to do that WILL involve prison time, since that would be illegal. The only legal way to do it would be to buy Facebook, and they'll laugh you out of the building with that offer. But I'm done with this conversation because I have work to complete from clients that aren't delusional. Have a nice day! [hang up]

----

What. The. Fuck.

Someone please shoot me right now.Or better a blackhole could just collide with earth right now and annihilate everyone and everything!
We are supposed to launch the app this coming Friday and as of Monday this week everything was OK.
Just yesterday this client came up with dozens of changes that demand a major rewrite of the backend.

The thing with this client is that she doesn't realize I deal with the mobile apps and not the APIs.Right now am headed to the management office to explain why the app is not updated after she sent this email today morning.
This is not the first time she has demanded changes a week to the launch and i feel like i should stand up to her but you know, i have bills to pay.

Client: "Dear Mr. I still have not received the final version yet. I had planned to send it out to my customers at the end of the week."
-------

Me (1st answer I did not give):
"Ok. I accept your statement as true, since I did not send you anything. Furthermore I respect your wish."

Me (2nd answer I did not give):
"Well I am sorry. Before today you did not once mention that there was a deadline. ASAP is not how I do things. Please do your project management."

Me (answer I gave): "Dear Client, due to a huge demand for our services we are forced to prioritise. We are doing our best to complete the project as fast as possible. Please understand however that we can not reschedule with 3 days notice. Because of technical requirements the product can be send on Friday next week. Please let us know if this works out for you. - Kind regards. Me. "

-__-""""

Client: We are tired of having to go only to specific users to get things actioned, we need everyone to be given admin access so that we can get work done efficiently

Dev: Highly do not recommend that *outlines the likely consequences*.

Client: We don’t care, we DEMAND you do this. We’ll make sure everyone is careful.

Dev: Ok but I warned you. Please submit this request in writing.

Client: Ok, not sure why you would need that. I told you everything would be fine.

*Not even two days later*

Client: HELP!!! OUR DATA IS NOW COMPLETELY MESSED UP. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WOULD HAVE CAUSED THIS IT’S AS IF EVERYONE IS RANDOMLY DOING WHATEVER THEY WANT HOWEVER THEY WANT IN ORDER TO SUITE THEIR OWN NEEDS. IT MAKES NO SENSE HOW THIS HAS OCCURRED. I TOLD EVERYONE SPECIFICALLY TO NOT CAUSE ISSUES!!! WE NEED THIS FIXED A.S.A.P!!!!!!

Dev: …

Yes, Mr. Client. It is extremely wise of you to demand changes on release-day. Of course it won't go smoothly, untested and buggy as it will be.

how to be a shitty client:
- have a legacy database where column names are misspelled and everything is nullable
- hire external help which instead of helping break the ui (bonus points for breaking the api too)
- demand a very much custom auth logic but decide to use aws cognito for shits and giggles
- demand 1hr daily meetings
- demand biometric auth with 0 knowledge of how biometric auth works (the previous devs just had a face id prompt which does nothing and retrieved email and password saved on the device???)
- message me at 2am because you don't understand how timezones work + demand a build while you're at it
- call me a "heretical pagan" because i took a day off on a holiday you don't celebrate (???)

i could go on but i think this is enough

I have a Windows machine sitting behind the TV, hooked to two controllers, set up as basically a console for the big TV. It doesn't get a lot of use, and mostly just churns out folding@home work units lately. It's connected by ethernet via a wired connection, and it has a local static IP for the sake of simplicity.

In January, Windows Update started throwing a nonspecific error and failing. After a couple weeks I decided to look up the error, and all the recommendations I found online said to make sure several critical services were running. I did, but it appeared to make no difference.

Yesterday, I finally engaged MS support. Priyank remoted into my machine and attempted all the steps I had already tried. I just let him go, so he could get through his checklist and get to the resolution steps. Well, his checklist began and ended with those steps, and he started rather insistently telling me that I had to reinstall, and that he had to do it for me. I told him no thank you, "I know how to reinstall windows, and I'll do it when I'm ready."

In his investigation though, I did notice that he opened MS Edge and tried to load Bing to search for something. But Edge had no connection. No pages would load. I didn't take any special notice of it at the time though, because of the argument I was having with him about reinstalling. And it was no great loss to me that Edge wasn't working, because that was literally the first time it'd ever been launched on that computer.

We got off the phone and I gave him top marks in the CS survey that was sent, as it appeared there was nothing he could do. It wasn't until a couple hours later that I remembered the connectivity problem. I went back and checked again. Edge couldn't load anything. Firefox, the ping command, Steam, Vivaldi, parsec and RDP all worked fine. The Windows Store couldn't connect either. That was when it occurred to me that its was likely that Windows Update was just unable to reach the internet.

As I have no problem whatsoever with MS services being unable to call home, I began trying to set up an on-demand proxy for use when I want to update, and I noticed that when I fill out the proxy details in Internet Options, or in Windows 10's more windows10-ish UI for a system proxy, the "save" button didn't respond to clicks. So I looked that problem up, and saw that it depends on a service called WinHttpAutoProxySvc, which I found itself depends on something called IP Helper, which led me to the root cause of all my issues: IP Helper now depends on the DHCP Client service, which I have explicitly disabled on non-wifi Windows installs since the '90s.

Just to see, I re-enabled DHCP Client, and boom! Everything came back on. Edge, the MS Store, and Windows Update all worked. So I updated, went through a couple reboots-- because that's the name of the game with windows update --and had a fully updated machine.

It occurred to me then that this is probably how MS sends all its spy data too, and since the things I actually use work just fine, I disabled DHCP Client again. I figure that's easier than navigating an intentionally annoying menu tree of privacy options that changes and resets with every major update.

But holy shit, microsoft! How can you hinge the entire system's OS connectivity on something that not everybody uses?

You utter &@£#s. You give rediclious promises to clients without consulting Devs how long items will take, when issues with project are clarified with client months in advance you turn around week before last and do a massive U turn. Expect junior developers to be masters of Photoshop, flash, server side technologies and to get around and code the front end. Then developers who are putting in the over time already you demand a massive load of overtime extra and threaten us if we don't meet the deadline?! Sat here blood boiling. last guy here litrually rage quit because of issues like this and #&## I think I'm going to too, so hard to try stay professional! ##&##&# I have had it!

Sacrificed my Diwali and made a website for my first client and did not get any payment.
I was new and less confident.

Well this is my freelance horror story.

Now I fucking demand money from client UPFRONT.

husband relays to me his boss laughing when a client made a ridiculous demand and flat out tells him no and all I can think is I wish my boss and pm's were that bold and cool. bullshit.

Client A

At the first few meetings, told us they are giving sponsors to World Cup 2018 and we should totally talk about it loudly on media.

Then when we submitted our plan, they said things have changed and they no longer can mention about World Cup. We had to redo everything.

Now, they blame us that our service quality is so bad that we should learn from *some refernce* company. Said company is only talking about their sponsorship for World Cup.

---

Client B

Bought smallest package from us. Demand services greater than our largest package.

Gave us an information of a name spelled in "Barbu". We used that spelling and used it for various tasks in past few weeks. All approved by client.

Blamed us we are giving such a poor service that we cannot even spell "Babu" correctly this morning.

IT department of client still doesn't get its shit together. Previously, I've ranted that they insist I access their GitLab through a fucking RDP.

Me: requests an account to their Confluence space

Them: give me a Confluence account. Naturally, Confluence requests that I confirm my email. That needs to be confirmed in the inbox of my.name@theircompany.com. Mail servers hosted by Azure, using Outlook.

Me: ok, let's configure my Outlook, 2FA as they configured to demand it from me... install MS's authenticator app, ok so far so good... Now I'm ready to login and find that email from Confluence and... ERROR 500 INVALID LICENSE

Fucking hell. You just love your siloes so much you actually make it impossible to access it and feel good about my own good will.

Not being able to persuade the client that storing plain text passwords so that they can send them to their users when they forget them is not the best way to handle user accounts.

This happened in 2012 but it still hunts me like it was yesterday.

Before you all demand to ban me from devRant, I’d like to say that we impelemented an alternative (unpaid!) for this, but were requested to disable it.

We had a school project where we where supposed to implement a software with a heavy client in C# and web services for it in C#, but the web services HAD TO COMMUNICATE WITH SMTP AND IMAP. And do that in 8 days.

We were 6 in the team. 4 had no idea what a web service is, and I and the designated project lead were the only ones knowing what to do. The lead had paperwork to do for the project, so I had to do everything but the UI alone. So 1 guy did the UI, 3 were... Playing Minecraft... The lead was doing paperwork and ranting about how noisy idiots these guys were... And I was sick as hell and could not eat anything, I was vomiting all day in between which moment I managed to make half of the functionalities of the project, despite having to go to the hospital and have to continue working despite the medical request not to work.

So the day before the presentation I had half of the functionalities done and I had to explain them yet another time what web services are so they can answer the questions and cover for themselves.

On the day of the presentation it went kinda fine. It was not finished but it worked like asked.

We were asked for peer evaluation and I gave A to the lead and the UI guy and B to the 3 other lazy asses.

Shortly after I am called by the tutor in the office : "What happened on this project? Were you not working at all? Apart for the lead who gave you an A, every one gave you a D (lowest grade). I demand for explanations"

I said never mind and got back to studying. I got a B, all the rest of the group an A.

Client had this great idea for a business where he would kennel dogs at his house and have a premium upgrade to the service where he would sell dog treats and other items as well as have a private members only area where they could view their dog.
My first question was "Is there any demand from your customers for such things and what type of budget do you have?"
His response was "I don't have much of a budget but I can give you some hockey tickets and give you a stake in the profit."

I politely declined. He didn't even have any cameras in his house to pull off such a thing, either let alone he didn't have a boarding license. Oh clients.

YouTube iframes or iframes in general are the worst things ever made or either client who demand it instead of using video.js

Got a pretty epic message yesterday:

"Hi, I just had a friend on phone and we got a rather "simple" idea for a website. 

Just a user ID and a password users would pay for. Then they would get access to their videos.

We are willing to pay 350 bucks for a working version and up to 680 depending on the result at the end of the project. 

Know anyone that could be interested? Or would you be? 

Have a good night. "

Solid.

Building CMS for one of our client on demand. Young client seemed to be pretty upset, when we told him, that all the functionality including all the forms had to be build from scratch. He told us, he thought it is there in the computer "by nature" and does not need to be programmed.

!rant - what is everyone's take on React Native? I've been asked to put together a team to develop an MVP for a client. Rather than pull together an IOS and Android dev I was gonna get a React Native developer.

it's an on-demand service, will be looking to utilise Google Maps API, likely will sit on AWS and will also have a website where people can manage their account.

Given that it's an on-demand service there will also need to be a "user" side to it as well as a "service provider" side.

Do we think React Native is mature enough to handle this? I don't have much / any experience with it, but I'm hearing more and more - "Why don't you use react native?"

Finished building an app for a client and sent it to them. Messaged them every week for a month asking if things were OK and if they needed any assistance (no invoice sent either). 6 weeks later I wake up to a stream of emails and missed calls about a small bug that they demand being fixed immediately because of an urgent business need. Fixed the bug. Sent invoice. It's been nearly 2 months and still waiting for payment. FML.

When the client gets pissed that it looks like there is no progress on their site but everything has been back-end work and front-end is only 20%.

Then they demand a refund on a holiday... in 2014... and their domain is STILL a parked page even though they were 5 days from completion in 2014.

I almost looked for every possible source but is not satisfied or not found optimum way or path.

Actually i have to build a netflix clone (not exactly but a video on demand platform for one local client). The tech stack will be React at the frontend and DRF (Django Rest Framework) at the backend.

I know the node will match my purpose at best, but this needs to be done on DRF. How should I return the video, should I return it in bytes, packets and what can sample code look like, how frontend should fetch it. It will really help if you put your insight, in general. Thank you

Hey remote workers.

What would be your advice for someone with experience that's interested in exploring remote work.

I'd like to target this question to remote workers that live outside USA/EU/UK. Say South America, South Asia.

A little introduction.

I'm a full stack engineer, did one project in embedded systems with QT/C++/RPI can do backend in Python, Node, Java, C#. I have some experience with React Native (just 2 apps)

I currently I do full stack with Node, React, postgres and caching with couchdb.
I gather requirements, write the projects, proposals and then I do the implementation. (Really full stack, I kinda like it though, when I'm bored with code I pick up an issue and contact the client to socialize/get answers. I found out that nondevs like to feel they talk to a human not a robot)

I'm making about 600usd/month (dev in a poor country) working 30hrs /week. I'd like to ramp up my income, working remote part time to fill up about 50hr week.

What can I expect?
Where do I start?
Are there part time opportunities for working remote?
What kind of roles are in demand?

There is so much fuzz about AI and fear of missing out on the leaving AI train, but as a dev I have no clue about where at all to get started!?

What can we developers do with AI?

OK, I can get some code for free. I can use a LLM as a half smart search engine. I can integrate my product with some AI service. I can produce content to teach said things to others...

Nothing new, really, just another API or another search engine.

It is of course possible to start to make some neural networks, but I can't really picture that as a high demand skill, do you?
Maybe at some of the big companies, but for an average client?

Does anyone know what kind of knowledge of AI that a developer should really learn?
Especially something a client would be interested in?

Here is a potato for scale:

So the product has been labeled "ready for launch" for months, but the client has apparently been procrastinating and weren't ready.

Finally, earlier this week, they claimed they were set for launch, and that I should prepare the final bits.

And now they demand additional functionality which requires refactoring code.

Sigh. Why, oh why?

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AL IMTEDAD distinguishes itself through its commitment to customized IPTV solutions KSA that cater to the specific needs of each client. From the initial consultation to installation and ongoing support, their services are designed to provide a seamless experience. Their dedication to tailored solutions and customer satisfaction makes them a preferred choice for IPTV services in Saudi Arabia.

Conclusion

AL IMTEDAD's IPTV solutions are revolutionizing the way multimedia content is delivered and consumed across various sectors in Saudi Arabia. Their innovative and reliable services are setting new standards in the IPTV industry, making them a trusted partner for organizations seeking to enhance their digital content delivery.

RECOVER BTC AND MONEY SENT TO SCAMMERS HIRE A HACKER TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY

When my cryptocurrency wallet was suddenly emptied, leaving me with a loss of $145,000, I was engulfed in shock and disbelief. The devastation was compounded when I uncovered the truth: my ex-girlfriend, whom I had recently discovered was unfaithful, was behind the theft. The realization that someone I once trusted had betrayed me so deeply was crushing. The emotional turmoil left me desperate for a solution, so I began searching for recovery services. During this search, I came across a Telegram group where someone recommended TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY. Their glowing reviews provided a glimmer of hope, and reaching out to them turned out to be a pivotal decision. From our very first conversation, TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY exhibited a level of professionalism that immediately reassured me. They didn’t just sympathize—they acted, quickly launching an investigation into how the theft occurred. Knowing that this betrayal came from someone close to me, their careful, methodical approach was exactly what I needed. They were meticulous in their investigation, tailoring their efforts to the unique aspects of my case, which was vital given the complexities of cryptocurrency recovery. Their team was both knowledgeable and empathetic, fully understanding the emotional weight of my situation. Throughout the process, I experienced an emotional roller coaster. The initial despair slowly gave way to hope as the team at TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY consistently communicated with me. They were transparent, explaining each step in a way that was easy to understand, which helped alleviate some of the anxiety I felt. Their regular updates were a lifeline, ensuring I was never left in the dark about the progress being made. Their ability to break down complex technical details into something manageable was a testament to their commitment to client care. TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY’s use of advanced forensic tools and blockchain expertise was nothing short of impressive. They tracked the movement of my stolen assets with precision, leaving no avenue unexplored. I was particularly impressed by their collaboration with other experts and law enforcement when necessary, demonstrating their dedication to recovering my funds. Their transparent fee structure was another standout feature. While many services charge hefty fees or demand significant upfront payments, TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY provided a clear breakdown of costs from the outset. This transparency built trust, making the financial aspect of the process far less stressful. Their focus on results over profit was evident and greatly appreciated. Ultimately, TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY successfully recovered all my stolen assets, bringing a sense of closure to this painful chapter. But what truly set them apart was their post-recovery support. They provided invaluable advice on securing my cryptocurrency wallet against future threats, arming me with the knowledge I needed to prevent such a breach from happening again. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, know that there’s a way back from the brink. TECHNOCRATE RECOVERY isn’t just a service—they’re a lifeline, guiding you through the darkest moments and helping you regain control over what you thought was lost forever.

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VIP Transfers Chania: Luxury and Comfort with Chania Taxi Transfer

When you’re looking for the ultimate in comfort, reliability, and professionalism during your travels in Crete, look no further than Chania Taxi Transfer. Our VIP transfers Chania service offers you a premium travel experience, tailored to your specific needs. Whether you're arriving at Chania International Airport, heading to a special event, or simply want to enjoy the best that Crete has to offer, our VIP transfer services are designed to provide you with a smooth and luxurious journey.

Why Choose VIP Transfers Chania with Chania Taxi Transfer?
At Chania Taxi Transfer, we understand that your travel experience is important, and we are dedicated to making your time on Crete as comfortable and enjoyable as possible. Our VIP transfers Chania service is specifically designed for those who demand the highest level of service, comfort, and convenience. Here’s why you should choose our VIP transfers Chania:

Premium Vehicles: Our fleet consists of high-end, well-maintained vehicles equipped with all the modern amenities you would expect from a luxury transfer. From leather seating to advanced air conditioning, we ensure that you experience the highest level of comfort.

Professional and Discreet Drivers: Our experienced and courteous drivers are committed to delivering a first-class experience. They are trained to ensure your comfort and safety, while always maintaining a discreet and professional demeanor throughout your journey.

On-Time Guarantee: When you book a VIP transfer Chania, you can trust that our drivers will be there on time, whether you're arriving at Chania International Airport or need transportation to a special event or destination.

Personalized Service: Every client is unique, and so are their travel needs. Whether you require extra luggage space, special accommodations, or a tailored route, we are happy to meet your specific requests for a truly customized experience.

VIP Transfers for All Occasions
Chania Taxi Transfer offers a wide range of VIP transfers Chania services, so you can enjoy luxury transportation for any occasion:

Airport Transfers: Start your holiday or business trip in style with a VIP transfer from Chania Airport to your hotel, villa, or any other destination in Crete. We provide direct and seamless transfers, ensuring that you travel in comfort and luxury.

Corporate Travel: Impress clients or colleagues with our premium transfer services. We offer punctual, reliable, and luxurious transportation for business meetings, corporate events, and conferences across Chania and beyond.

Weddings and Special Events: Make your special day even more memorable by arriving in style. Whether you're attending a wedding, gala, or any other prestigious event, our VIP transfers Chania ensure that you travel in luxury and elegance.

Private Tours: Explore the beauty of Crete with one of our personalized VIP tours. Our drivers can take you to the island's most beautiful locations, from charming villages to breathtaking beaches, all while ensuring your comfort and privacy.

Why VIP Transfers in Chania Are the Best Way to Travel
Crete is known for its stunning landscapes, historic sites, and beautiful coastal towns. Whether you’re visiting for relaxation, adventure, or business, traveling in style makes a significant difference. Here’s why opting for VIP transfers Chania with Chania Taxi Transfer is the best choice:

Luxury and Comfort: Our high-end vehicles are designed for maximum comfort. You’ll enjoy a smooth, relaxing ride, no matter how long your journey is. From plush seating to climate control, your comfort is our priority.

Stress-Free Travel: Skip the stress of renting a car, navigating unfamiliar roads, or dealing with parking. With our VIP transfers Chania, you can sit back, relax, and let our experienced drivers take care of the rest.

Exclusive Experience: We cater to travelers who value a premium service, offering a level of exclusivity that ensures you travel like royalty. Whether you’re headed to a romantic dinner, a special event, or simply wish to enjoy the sights of Crete, our VIP transfers Chania service offers you an unforgettable experience.

How to Book Your VIP Transfers Chania
Booking your VIP transfer Chania is quick and easy. Simply contact us at +306977509258, and our friendly team will assist you in arranging your luxury transfer. Whether you're booking in advance or need a last-minute ride, we are happy to accommodate your schedule and ensure your needs are met.

Our Location
We are conveniently located at Kounoupidiana 731 00, Greece, allowing us to provide efficient services to Chania International Airport and other destinations in the area. From there, our VIP transfers Chania can take you anywhere you need to go in Crete, ensuring a smooth and luxurious experience.