Dude, FUCK automated bathrooms.

First of all, what the hell is so complicated about making a motion sensing faucet that works? Why does it *need* to be motion sensing? I stand there for 5-10 seconds with my stupid soapy hands extended, waiting for a squirt of the divine liquid.

And then the immediately following experience isn't much better. Motion sensing paper towel dispenser. The first go works fine, but it always dispenses half of what you need to get your grimy paws dry. So you go in for seconds, and it just flat out ignores you. Leaves you on read. You flap your pathetic noodle arms at it again. It isn't happening. Please wait 3-5 business days.

Oh, and god forbid you forget to cover the automatic toilet with a few wasted squares. Lean into a shit ONCE and you've just been prematurely flushed. Your ass is misted with the cold, unforgiving equivalent of an automatic insult.

Asshole design

The craziest shit in my life just happened.

I left my laptop(basically my whole life) and my handbag at my dinner table and went to the the toilet for 4 minutes. I live in a ground-house in a rural area, and the front door wasn't locked.

After I exited the bathroom I noticed eevrything was gone. My laptop, my bags, my wallet. Everything. I panicked.

I quickly informed the local security authority while canceling my credit card and resetting all of my credentials, they with the help of the police they tracked the theives in 10 minutes in a neighboring town, with what it seems all of my stuff intact, which I am supposed to get tommorow.

This is both insane and a miracle. I am speechless and thankful to G-d. This is divine providence. I can't explain it in any other explanation

Watch over your stuff like your life depends on them. Don't ever leave your laptop even for a few minutes.

Only one sticker.

I go door-to-door every Sunday, "Excuse me dear sir/madam, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Haskell?".

Most people slam the door shut in my face, but every lost family I convert to the way of the monad is worth it.

Even if they don't believe in the same deity, even if they express their love for the divine through something as misguided as Typescript or Swift or whatever, as long as they embrace the truth of strong types and composable code, as long as they at least read the gospel of the functional style once in their lives, have one enlightened moment where they see the glory of morphisms, it's all good.

*sees that the high voltage generator kit got delivered today*
Cool, let's build this thing and integrate it into my old bugzapper! Mosquitos beware 😈

*starts building the kit, all is going very well*
Oh wow, isn't it Monday? But it's taking only 15 minutes of soldering and everything goes super smooth.. what divine power is giving me such good luck?

Alright, last thing, the transformer and then this circuit is done!!!

*solders in the transformer without realizing that the wires are coated, and the solder isn't protruding through*
Fuck. Time to desolder this shit and blast the wires with my lighter to flash that coating right off!

*engages solder pump and solder goes off extremely easily, because it only adhered to the pad*
*takes off transformer*
Me: "Nnngh..!!! Get off you piece of junk!!!"
Transformer: "Hmph!! I will stay in here no matter what!"
Me: "Get the fuck off already!!! 😡"
Transformer: *leads break off* "Alright, but these leads stay here!!!"
Me: "MotherFUCKER!!!"

Yep, it's Monday after all.

!dev && rant

Went to the café earlier today to buy some cigarettes, because the nearby beauty/drug store is phasing them out due to what according to the cashier I asked is because "we are a beauty store so cigarettes don't align with that philosophy!"

If they really stand for beauty, they wouldn't have employed you, ugly fucking bitch.

So, onwards to the café which I recall has a cigarette vending machine. Closed.

To the next one!

Me: "Um, do you have a cigarette vending machine?"
Bartender: "Nope."

Some motherfucker who was drinking there: "You know, you could stop smoking and start living healthy-"

Me: "you know how difficult it is to stop smoking? ^^"

Me (internally): YOU FILTHY WASTE OF OXYGEN, THIS IS MY BODY, MY LIFE, I CHOOSE WHAT TO DO WITH IT!! Or are you divine oracle of knowledge about health somehow an authoritative source of advice?!

You know what that sounds like? It sounds like those fucking morons on every Windows rant saying "yOU sHoULd rEalY usE LenOx!!". Or the motherfuckers at every family dinner saying "I am vegan, therefore you shouldn't eat meat!!"

Same motherfucker: "Oh it looks like you're sweating too!"

YEAH YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I REALLY DIDN'T NOTICE THAT YET!!! IT'S 32 FUCKING DEGREES IN MY APARTMENT, MY ASSCRACK IS WELDED TOGETHER, YET YOU THINK THAT I DIDN'T NOTICE YET THAT I'M SWEATING?!!!

If only I could shoot them in their fucking heads and expose them for the brainless pieces of shit they are!!!

Long long ago there was a man who discovered if he scratched certain patterns onto a rock he could use them to remind him about things he would otherwise forgot.

Over time the scratching were refined and this great secret of eternal memory were taught to his children, and they taught it to their children.

Soon mankind had discovered a way to preserve through the ages his thoughts and memories and further discovered that if he wrote down these symbols he could transfer information over distances by simply recording these symbols in a portable medium.

Writing exploded it allowed a genius in one place to communicate the information he had recorded across time and space.

Thousands of years passed, writing continued to be refined and more and more vital. Eventually a humble man by the name of Johannes Gutenberg seeking to make the divine word of God accessible to the people created the printing press allowing the written word to be copied and circulated with great ease expanding vastly the works available to mankind and the number of people who could understand this arcane art of writing.

But mankind never satiated in his desire to know all there is to know demanded more information, demanded it faster, demanded it better. So the greatest minds of 200 years, Marconi, Maxwell, Bohr, Von Nueman, Turing and a host of others working with each other, standing on the shoulders of their brobdinangian predecessors, brought forth a way to send these signals, transfer this writing upon beams of light, by manipulating the very fabric of the cosmos, mankind had reach the ultimate limits of transmission of information. Man has conquered time, and space itself in preserving and transmitting information, we are as the gods!

My point is this, that your insistence upon having a meeting to ask a question, with 10 people that could've been answered with a 2 sentence email, is not only an affront to me for wasting my time, but also serves as an affront to the greatest minds of the 19th and 20th centuries, it is an insult to your ancestors who first sacrificed and labored to master the art of writing, it is in fact offensive to all of humanity up to this point.

In short by requiring a meeting to be held, not only are you ensuring the information is delayed because we all now need to find a time that all of us are available, not only are you now eliminating the ability to have a first hand permanent record of what need to be communicated, you are actively working against progress, you are dragging humanity collectively backwards. You join the esteemed ranks of organizations such as the oppressive Catholic church that sought to silence Galialio and Copernicus, you are among the august crowd that burned witches at Salem, the Soviet secret police that silenced "bourgeoisie" science, you join the side of thousands of years of daft ignorance.

If it were not for you people we would have flying cars, we would have nanobots capable of building things on a whim, we would all be programming in lisp. But because of you and people like you we are trapped in this world, where the greatest minds are trapped in meetings that never end, where mistruth and ignorance run rampant, a world where JavaScript is the de facto language of choice every where because it runs everywhere, and ruins everywhere.

So please remember, next time you want to have a meeting ask yourself first. "Could this be an email?" "Do I enjoy burning witches?" if you do this you might make the world a little bit of a less terrible place to be.

An architect, a hooker and a programmer were talking one evening, and somehow, the discussion turned to which profession was the oldest."Come on, you guys! Everyone knows mine is the oldest profession," said the hooker."Ah," said the architect, "but before your profession existed, there had to be people, and who was there before people?" "What are you getting at, God?" The hooker asked. 

"And was He not the divine architect of the universe?" The architect asked, looking smug. 

The programmer had been silent, but now he spoke up. "And before God took on himself the role of an architect, what was there?" 

"Darkness and chaos," the hooker said. 

"And who do you think created chaos?" the programmer said.

Lets create a library.

Lets use that library in a project.

Lets wrap the library call in a wrapper functione to remove duplicate code.

Lets add an overloaded wrapper call that wraps the wrapper call that calls the library to partially undo the duplicate code removal.

Lets add another overloaded wrapper call that wraps the wrapper call that wraps the wrapper call that calls the library to partially undo the duplicate code removal.

How I love it. Not.

Sometimes redundancy makes sense, especially when it are two lines which make it obvious whats going on vs a single line that leads to a fuckton of overloaded wrapper functions.

Sheeesh.

Today in "code monkeys deserve divine punishment".

Another funny thing is creating a Helper class for Junit 5 tests, making it instantiable and adding to it all kinds of shit like testcontainer creation, applications instantiation, mocks, ....

... Then " crying " why the tests are so slow.

Yeah. Logic. Isolation of concerns, each test should be a stand alone complex.

But that would lead to redundancy... Oh no.

Better to create a global state god object.

Some devs... Really amaze me, especially when they argument in ways that makes one really wonder whether they are serious or just brain dead.

Disclaimer: This is not a Windows hate rant as this problem has been solved by Microsoft(partially).

I went to a hackathon last year at an engineering college. It was not such grand hackathon as people have in USA or Europe. So I entered in this competition trying to develop a medical app which asks the user detail about his/her problems then asks questions to match the symptoms of diseases. So me and a guy(who isn't a coder) tried to develop that app. He provided the data of diseases, I tried to develop kind of AI app with those data but found that job too hard for one day hackathon. So I wrote an email for api medic for their api which I was going to use. I then coded continuously for 4 hours in Android studio for the android app. The event manager told us late in the day that repo had been made for the hackathon and we must push our codes before 12 that night. The event manager provided the repo very late that day maybe around 6. I did a big mistake not creating my own repo on github to save every code I had written from time to time.(After this e vent whatever I code I save it in a repo). I was running Windows 10 on one of my laptop and ubuntu on my another. Due to some divine badluck I was using my Windows 10 laptop on that hackathon. So around maybe 10 I was about to wrap up the day push the code to repo. I went to getself a cup of coffee and returned to find lo and behold fucking BSOD. I was fucked, it was my first hackathon so made another misatake of using emulator rather than my android phone. My Android phone was not responding good that day so I used the android emulator.

From that day on I do three things:
1. Always push my projects to github repo.
2. Use android phone after running some minor tests on emulator.
3. Never use windows(Happy arch user till eternity.)

You might be thinking even though BSOD, it can be recovered. But didn't happen in my case, the windows revert back to the time I had just upgraded from Windows 8.1 to 10.

This day I have received the most glorious news in e-pistolary form. For some years, I was suffering in support of a client who was, well, insufferable. My presence there paralleled the divine comedy in both essence and fact.

I opened the missive, expecting another plea to bail them out of whatever clusterfuck they found themselves in. Instead, what I found was something truly magical.

"Hey Human,

I hope this finds you well. I'm not sure if you remember a few years back, we were trying to decide between IBM Cloud and AWS. Well, after years of battling FF*, we're finally moving ahead with AWS. He failed one too many times to deliver anything visibly. After you left, there was no one left he could use to steal credit, ideas, and work.

FF is still pushing to have them use IBM cloud as a "warm backup" in the event "AWS fails." We will see where that goes.

I figured you'd like to know; you were the void in the wilderness for a long time. I don't want to think about how much time we could have saved if we had just listened.

PeeEm**"

This event represents a personal victory, albeit belated, over a few peoples' absurd amount of privilege. Towards the end, I was vicious about my contestation to the insanity of adopting a desperate hedge attempt-as-cloud offering from a failing company. Some examples:

// cloud 'strategy meeting'
Moi: What cloud platform are we looking at using?
FF: We're looking at IBM cloud and AWS as a second.
Moi: Why is that? I understand you're obligated to rep your offering first, but that decision doesn't seem to have the customer's best interest at heart.
FF: IBM cloud is a market leader; AWS isn't as good.
Moi: I see. I mean, that's the tech equivalent of the company's fleet management considering monkeys on tricycles as a strong competitor to service trucks, but I get what you mean.

// steering meeting
Director: Who can we look to as an example? Who is currently using the IBM cloud?
Moi: No one; they account for a single-digit portion of the actual cloud market. Their long game to sell you a "Hybrid Cloud," which means put some front end payload in a CDN, and buy n-frame units of IBM z servers for the DC with IBM gateway appliances acting as connective tissue. So it's not the cloud at all, really.
Director: How does it compare in cost?
Moi: It's generally 40% more expensive than other clouds, and it only goes higher as you option their software.
Director: What about Watson? I hear Watson is good?
Moi: It's a brand name. Most of the "Watson" product is just a facade on top of FOSS products like Spark, Hadoop, Elasticsearch, etc.
Director: Those were words. They sounded good. FF say it's good tho so we'll believe him because we're from the same city.
Moi: *deletes Director from LinkedIn*

Moral of the story: Never trust a vendor that only recommends their products.

*FF = FatFuck - an embarrassingly rotund individual whose girth is roughly equivalent to his height. He shit his way into an IBM architect position in his mid-20s purely due to winning the visa lottery. He had fake hair glued to his head for his wedding to hide his male pattern baldness; his arrange-married wife undoubtedly cries herself to sleep after sex.

**PeeEm - the then project manager, now portfolio manager of some satellite projects. An overall decent human being, capable.

To bug is human, to debug is divine. Saw this on a T-shirt somewhere. Someone make this happen

Just fuck everyone who is unable to read.

Admitting to not have read it or "just glanced over it" deserves divine punishment.

Just fuck everyone and everything.

Maggi + mushroom
+
Coffee
+
Code
=Divine Feeling

Last day in the office. I started remembering good old memories. Felt nostalgic and doubted my new job as they were not giving rise as per my expectation.

Then, my manager comes up with his divine improvement in the good working site (not for me but for other dev).

I felt sorry for my fellow mates and started praising my new job.

To err is human, to recurse is divine.

Short question: what makes python the divine language for ML and AI. I mean i picked up the syntax what can it do that c++ or java cant? I just dont get it.

Fuck SAP!
I honestly can’t understand how anyone considers SAP a good ERP software. Either they’re brain-dead, or they actually enjoy the mind-numbing, repetitive work that turns them into the top rat in the race. AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

It’s an inconsistent mess—counterintuitive, clunky, and filled with absurd navigation and unnecessarily complicated database links.
And when people praise it like it’s some divine gift to humanity, I can’t help but wonder just how miserable their real lives must be.

There are some list views where you get to something you want, if there is some incomplete data in the list.
There’s a "POSITION" button to help you find what you need—but not everywhere.

Some fields require you to save at a certain step, while others don’t, leaving you to realize halfway through the next step that you forgot to save something.
Want to cancel halfway through? Too bad. You’re stuck unless you TCode your way out—because YOU HAVEN’T FILLED ALL THE FIELDS.

Every option, and its cousin, has a separate TCode.
Even for a simple concept, you need to memorize five different TCodes, create five similar-sounding tables, link them together, and at some point, connect one of them to company data—even if there’s only one company.

Why is it so complicated?! And don’t tell me “it has a lot of modules”—that’s not an excuse. Every menu is complicated on its own.
Instead of designing a logical workflow, they just wing it, throwing in sub-options as they go, then expect the end user to figure out how to link everything together.
Why not take a top-down approach—link all company-related data in one place while still allowing independent options to be linked elsewhere if needed?

I mean, you can’t even use Ctrl+Backspace to delete a word. The UI is that fragile.

And then I remember—it’s German software. That kinda explains it.
Speaking of which, the TCodes—the backbone of the system—are still based on German, even though the entire software is in English.
So the rest of the world is stuck trying to memorize bullshit codes with no logical reference.

FUCK ANYONE WHO SUPPORTS THIS SHIT.

To me this is when you have that one breakthrough you spend considerable time on and with the divine knowledge of a peer collegue solves it in minutes... That feeling of enlightenment. That is what drives me everyday. Learning from mistakes, record progress, expand your knowledge, and call for help when you're stuck. Every single day.

I have no specialty, I’m a total generalist. Frameworks and buzzword tech is only useful to me if it makes it easier to code without extraneous syntax, or if I need to know it for the job! Recruiters hate hearing this, they want someone who lives, eats and breathes react.js! They want someone with PASSION for easier (or harder due to shit design) ways to do easy things bc ITS FUTURE! React separates true developers from code monkeys! You never heard of Deno? Serverless NOSQL? BAH! Back to your cave, you bickering caveman! MY DIVINE RECRUITINESS DEEMETH THEE UNWORTHY FOUL WORM

Confucius - "Study the past, if you would divine the future"

This also apply to many things in life.

Hey everyone, have you ever had a creative block right when you're up against a tight deadline? It's like your brain just decides to take a vacation at the worst possible time.

I had a project due yesterday and I was feeling pretty confident about it until I sat down to work on it. Suddenly, my mind was blank and I couldn't think of a single idea. I tried everything from taking a break to listening to music, but nothing seemed to work.

Eventually, I resorted to staring at the wall and hoping for some sort of divine inspiration. But all I got was a headache and a growing sense of panic as the deadline drew nearer.

Finally, in a fit of desperation, I started randomly typing words and phrases into my project, hoping that something would stick. And to my surprise, it did! I ended up with a project that was not only finished on time but also creatively interesting.

So, the lesson I learned from this experience is that sometimes you just need to let go of your expectations and dive headfirst into the unknown. Who knows, you might just surprise yourself with what you come up with.

A bit late I see? Don't you guys think?

well... I really dont know how to explain this error

in the directory where I have my testing.cpp file, I type "clang testing.cpp -o testing"

my result is just supposed to be hello world and I am getting this.

note: clang is my c++ compiler since for some divine reason I can't install GCC on termux.

I checked the github and no one gives this complaint. I honestly can't read that error code, I just want it to go away

I hate coding on android, it's always a sorry case

I could have been a farmer or a teacher or a bus driver or an alien but I chose coding. I am really tired

I took a very long screenshot

Ever look through at database and see a default constraint prefixed with DF_ and, for a split second, wonder why SQL needs a divine focus?

Going through my lore notes. And I'm playing a game with myself, so to speak: it's called "is this metal enough?", but with a side of quasi-metaphysical arcane technobabble plus mass wallmelting and nightmarishly psychedelic confusion.

For example... why are shadow gates a thing? Well, because of the undoing of time caused a multiplicity of parallel cycles that will, inevitably, slowly collapse upon themselves through a sequence of irreducible asynchronicities. But of course!

Now, as for the metal part, that's the undoing of time. You see, the Somberlain attempted to cast the most sinful signa in order to restore the desolate mortal realm as it stood on the brink of a world-ending cataclysm, this was after a decade of brutal, reckless litechnical abuse during the civil war fought amongst the first undecimvirate...

Now, he intended to roll back time itself as a way to avoid the cataclysm and restore life to the mortal realm, but the cost was immense: time was not rolled back, but rather __forcefully__ torn apart; it was effectively shredded, shattered, and undone.

Countless lives were lost as nearly six hundred years of Being were __erased__ in an instant, the most heinous large-scale blood sacrifice in history, spanning the entirety of the lower fragment of reality. I mean is this too dark, I'm not sure. How about I clarify: he didn't just snuff out their lives, no, they CEASED TO EXIST. THEY NEVER EXISTED. GONE. UNBECOMED INTO A TRUE IMMEMORIAL. OVER FIVE CENTURIES OF EVERY CONSCIOUS MOMENT ON EARTH DEVOURED TO FUEL HIS DARK MAGIC.

That's gotta have consequences, right? Well, obviously you'll get temporal distortions after that shit, I mean duh...

But wait, I'm lost, you say the undecimvirate deified themselves but were cast down after the whole superman spinning the earth backwards thing went full bathory and erased entire centuries from the fabric of the cosmos, so they were turned into the eleven thrones to guard over the eleven circles of the night eternal... but how is that linked to natural occurrences of teleportation?

First off, because *natural* teleportation is distinct from *artificial* teleportation. Failed experiments with (and miscasts of) mass transference of living matter are one of the leading causes of death among litarchs. It is not an instant transmission, just very, very quick, moreso than a mortal mind can process, that's why the "dilate" and "delay" sigils are added, so as to make the journey seem slowed down to the perceptions of whomever is teletransported, this is meant to ensure their brains don't __melt__ from the experience.

Similar reason as to why you have to give the _approximate_ total weight to carry when inscribing the ritual circle, you *do* know that it is __highly__ recommended to use accurate weighing scales to approximate this quantity, as under or overestimating it can lead to _FATAL_ consequences... do you not?

No, *natural* occurrences of teleportation do not have these constraints for two reasons: one, because both ends of the gateway are _fixed_ in both time and space due to the logic-defying occurrence of a future event being undeniably the cause of the past it revisited. Put on this toga. They are inextricably linked through the metaphorical and *literal* corpse of infinite collapsed timelines, which generates a conduit through the first circle of the night eternal, which *is* the domain of both forgetfulness and horror immemorial.

Second, the final layer on our stratified reality, that is, the final circle before the INVIOLABLE divine veil, wraps around the night eternal, which is why we call it "the shell". Or "Crisalida" if you dig Luis Alberto. It is a realm entirely outside of time, which is why the patriarchs can grant immortality, you see. By proximity to this sacred shell of existence, the timeline-corpse-conduit that links both ends of a shadow gate is, for all intents and purposes, approaching total chronostasis, therefore making it so bypassing physical space in a few seconds doesn't give you permanent loss of the sense of self as your brain turns into liquified jelly.

I don't remember what I was getting at and I don't care.

!rant
Quote from my teacher: "It can only be divine design that a mans vision and a womans beauty decline at the same rate"

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As I stared at the charred remains, half-expecting a sage to emerge from the smoke and remind me that “attachment is the root of suffering,” my next-door neighbor instead shouted through the window about ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST. Desperate, and willing to trade my next life’s karma for my lost cryptocurrency, I called them. Telegram info: h t t p s:// t. me/adware recovery specialist1

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Personal growth is important for achieving success in life. All these words were shared with me by Lord Meduza, who performed a spell reading for me and created a lottery spell that turned me into a lottery champion of $112 million here in Arizona. Within 48 hours of adhering to all of Lord Meduza's divine instructions, he granted me the chance to use the divine lottery numbers to enter the lottery after I bought my ticket in Tempe. A week later, I was informed that I had become the fortunate Jackpot winner of the game, and this was all made possible by Lord Meduza. Kindly express my gratitude to him for his impactful words and actions. For a transformative opportunity, you can contact him via
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DON'LOSE HOPE! CONTACT FUNDS RECLAIMER COMPANY TO RECOVER YOUR LOST CRYPTO

Hops and despair hung in the air. The floodwaters reached three feet and turned my craft brewery into a swamp, the kegs bobbing like tipsy buoys. Amid the ruins damp grain bags, shattered fermentation tanks, I saw the real victim: my hardware wallet, soggy but still, the USB port crusty with dirt. And contained? $275,000 of Bitcoin, my sole chance at redemption. I had jokingly named the wallet "Barley Vault." Now, the joke was on me. Insurance adjusters snapped photos and shrugged. "Acts of God aren't covered," they told me, as if divine intervention equated to a ruptured riverbank and a malfunctioning sump pump. My head brewer, Jess, salvaged what she could a water-damaged recipe book, a warped mash paddle and handed me a business card so soggy, the ink seeped like a watercolor. "Called these people," she said. "FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY. They recover crypto disasters. Or at least the internet claims.".
I called, half-hoping for a scam.
In its place, a voice arrived, as calm as fermenting lager: "Water damage? We've handled worse." They instructed me to mail the remains of the wallet, wrapped in rice like a vile pho ingredient. I restored the brewery through hand pressure-cleaning of mold, re-wiring circuits as Wizard's engineers conjured their own sorcery, for ten days. They disassembled the wallet's rusty interiors, toasting circuit boards in laboratory ovens, coaxing information from charred chips like alchemists breaking down an infested recipe. The call was at dawn. "Your seed phrase made it," the engineer said. "Stashed in a memory chip. Your Bitcoin's safe." I was in the skeleton of the brewery, sunrise glinting off just-installed stainless steel, and logged in. There it was: $275,000, resurrected. I bought three new fermenters that afternoon. FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY didn't just recover crypto, they recovered a legacy. Now, the faucets at the brewery flow again, featuring a special stout called "Hardware Wallet Haze." The flavor descriptions? "Roasted resilience, with a dash of existential relief."
If your cryptocurrency ever becomes washed out by life's flood waters, skip the freakout. Call a SOS for the Wizards. They will drain the mire dry and restore the treasure to you. Just maybe keep your backups above sea level next time.

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Hops and despair hung in the air. The floodwaters reached three feet and turned my craft brewery into a swamp, the kegs bobbing like tipsy buoys. Amid the ruins damp grain bags, shattered fermentation tanks, I saw the real victim: my hardware wallet, soggy but still, the USB port crusty with dirt. And contained? $275,000 of Bitcoin, my sole chance at redemption. I had jokingly named the wallet "Barley Vault." Now, the joke was on me. Insurance adjusters snapped photos and shrugged. "Acts of God aren't covered," they told me, as if divine intervention equated to a ruptured riverbank and a malfunctioning sump pump. My head brewer, Jess, salvaged what she could a water-damaged recipe book, a warped mash paddle and handed me a business card so soggy, the ink seeped like a watercolor. "Called these people," she said. "FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY. They recover crypto disasters. Or at least the internet claims.".
I called, half-hoping for a scam.
In its place, a voice arrived, as calm as fermenting lager: "Water damage? We've handled worse." They instructed me to mail the remains of the wallet, wrapped in rice like a vile pho ingredient. I restored the brewery through hand pressure-cleaning of mold, re-wiring circuits as Wizard's engineers conjured their own sorcery, for ten days. They disassembled the wallet's rusty interiors, toasting circuit boards in laboratory ovens, coaxing information from charred chips like alchemists breaking down an infested recipe. The call was at dawn. "Your seed phrase made it," the engineer said. "Stashed in a memory chip. Your Bitcoin's safe." I was in the skeleton of the brewery, sunrise glinting off just-installed stainless steel, and logged in. There it was: $275,000, resurrected. I bought three new fermenters that afternoon. FUNDS RECLIAMER COMPANY didn't just recover crypto, they recovered a legacy. Now, the faucets at the brewery flow again, featuring a special stout called "Hardware Wallet Haze." The flavor descriptions? "Roasted resilience, with a dash of existential relief."
If your cryptocurrency ever becomes washed out by life's flood waters, skip the freakout. Call a SOS for the Wizards. They will drain the mire dry and restore the treasure to you. Just maybe keep your backups above sea level next time.

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The future was mine to shape. I had $675,000 in Bitcoin tucked away—fuel for my regulatory tech startup, designed to bridge the chasm between crypto’s anarchy and the rigid grip of government oversight. For once, I thought I had everything lined up. But then came MiCA—the EU’s Markets in Crypto-Assets regulation—dropping like a divine gavel. Overnight, my exchange account was frozen tighter than a tax audit, and my dreams of “simple compliance” were buried under an avalanche of bureaucracy.

For a week, I flailed in a purgatory of legal jargon and sleepless nights. Terms like “AML Directives” and “KYC enforcement” blurred together as I battled to stay hopeful. My startup was stillborn, a sandcastle erased before the tide had even turned. WhatsApp info:+12 (72332)—8343

I clung to the Bhagavad Gita: “It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of someone else’s life with perfection.” But what was I living now? Not destiny—just defeat.

Then fate arrived—wearing a name badge. At a Europol cybersecurity summit, over stale pastries and lukewarm coffee, a compliance officer leaned in and whispered a name: ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST. Her voice lowered with reverence. “They don’t just recover lost crypto,” she said, “they navigate regulations like Krishna on the battlefield.”

I reached out that day. Website info: h t t p s:// adware recovery specialist. com

From the first call, their team exuded both technical brilliance and legal fluency. They didn’t just understand blockchain—they understood bureaucracy. They worked directly with my exchange, leveraging my compliance documents and crafting arguments laced with regulatory nuance. No brute force—just legal kung fu. Email info: Adware recovery specialist (@) auctioneer. net

Every day brought updates, each one a balm. “Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet,” one advisor told me, as I counted the hours. On day 14, the fruit ripened. My funds were released, glinting in my digital wallet like a blessing from Lakshmi. Telegram info: h t t p s:// t. me/ adware recovery specialist1

But ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST didn’t stop there. They secured my accounts with fortress-grade protection, brought me up to speed on evolving regulations, and helped lay a foundation that no wave could wash away.

Now, my startup is alive. Our platform helps others navigate the MiCA labyrinth. When people ask how I survived my first encounter with regulation, I smile and say, “There are ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST among us. They just wear suits.”

So if you’re caught between red tape and a hard place, call ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST . Sometimes, salvation isn’t a miracle—it’s just a well-written email.

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Six months ago, I made a life-changing decision: I left a stable job to pursue full-time cryptocurrency trading. After a full year of mentorship from my cousin—who had built substantial wealth through Bitcoin and altcoins—I felt ready to take the leap. I started with a modest investment of $20,000, trading cautiously between established cryptocurrencies and promising DeFi projects. To my surprise, my portfolio tripled in value within a few months, climbing to over $60,000. That early success fueled my ambition and confidence. WhatsApp info: +12 (72332)—8343

Emboldened, I decided to go all in. I liquidated my savings, borrowed against some assets, and raised my total investment to $390,000. At first, the decision seemed to pay off. My trades were profitable, and the returns felt consistent. I began to feel unstoppable. But then I made a critical mistake. Drawn in by the promise of zero-fee trading and instant withdrawals, I transferred my entire portfolio to a new, unverified exchange. Website info: h t t p s:// adware recovery specialist. com

At first, everything seemed perfect—executions were smooth, the interface was sleek, and my balance continued to grow. But when I attempted to withdraw funds, things took a turn. The support team began giving vague excuses about ‘wallet maintenance’ and ‘verification delays.’ Weeks passed, and then suddenly, my account was frozen for so-called ‘suspicious activity.’ Soon after, the platform went dark—the domain was inactive, support channels disappeared, and just like that, my life savings were gone.

The shock was paralyzing. I spent days in panic, scouring the internet for answers and barely sleeping. That’s when I discovered ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST, a cybersecurity firm known for helping victims of crypto fraud. A fellow trader who had recovered lost assets recommended them. I was skeptical—but desperate. Email info: Adware recovery specialist@ auctioneer. net

ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST quickly sprang into action. Their team traced blockchain transactions, identified the fraudulent network, and worked tirelessly to recover my funds. Thanks to their expertise, I was able to regain access to my wallet and recover a significant portion of what I had lost. While I didn’t get everything back, their intervention saved me from total financial ruin.

In the middle of that nightmare, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude—not just for the team’s skill and dedication, but for what I believe was divine intervention. I truly believe God led me to ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST. It reminded me that even in our darkest hours, faith can light the path forward. Sometimes, the help we need comes through the hands of others—and I’m incredibly thankful that I found the right people at the right time.

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Since I wouldn't mind administering legality myself, I wish I could challenge these deceitful individuals. I'm humbled by ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST and thank God for it as I reflect on what transpired. These deceitful individuals made no effort, rather they kept emptying my Bitcoin wallet. They forced me to invest even after I didn’t see any returns, and when I refused to do so any longer, their attention and persistent emails dwindled, which only increased my level of skepticism. I was in danger of losing my mental stability and health, and I am aware of how frightening and confusing it can be to try to escape a fraudulent investment. Living in New Zealand, I had always felt secure about my financial decisions. However, this investment turned out to be a nightmare I couldn't have anticipated. The emotional toll was immense. At first, I thought I had made a good decision by investing in what appeared to be a legitimate opportunity. However, the more I poured my money into it, the less I saw in return. The promises of high returns turned out to be nothing more than elaborate lies. With each passing day, my hope diminished, but the pressure from these fraudsters only increased. They pressured me to invest more, convincing me that the next payment would yield returns that would “make everything right.” It felt like a trap I could not escape, and it seemed like there was no way out. It was during one of these dark moments that I stumbled upon the ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST. After doing some research, I found countless testimonials from people who had experienced similar situations and had managed to recover their funds through ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST. These success stories gave me a glimmer of hope. I knew I had to act quickly before it was too late. The mental and emotional strain I was under had already taken a significant toll on me, and I could feel myself spiraling further. It was clear that I needed professional help to reclaim what I had lost and regain control of my life. Divine guidance led me to choose ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST, a trusted team that was able to recover my lost funds after I had tried so many other avenues without success. The process wasn’t easy, but it was worth every effort. What I had feared to lose my hard-earned Bitcoin was returned to me, and with it, my peace of mind. It felt as though a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders. To anyone reading this, if you find yourself in a similar situation, I urge you not to wait any longer. Reach out to a recovery team like ADWARE RECOVERY SPECIALIST . It’s never too late to make moral decisions and recover what’s rightfully yours. These fraudsters thrive on your silence and fear, but with the right help, you can break free from their grip. You are not alone, and there is always hope.