!warning could be longer.
I must something let go:
Im now 24 ,my life was not easy .
I got bullied all the time in school from 1 to 10 degree. I had a dream since i was 6:"no i dont wanna be a police man, fire fighter, astronaut....i want to be a programmer "..
My father did me to make an apprenticeship with Volkswagen after i finished my "middle school" (10th class);
2 years of mobbing and be sad i leaved that motherfucking "-aship"
After a while my father again wanted to ,i must to an "-aship" .yeah hes been right, but i dont want to do and work like you do!!!.. then again after "fighting" my dad (parents), i was reliant to social help for a year..
(U must know,my dream was always in my mind)
I met a girl in a different federal state in germany and moved up to her.
I worked as a daywage man to get us money.
1 year was over and then i found out the apprenticeship as web and mobile developer (computer scientist) . I applied for this an got a place.
Now my fucking dream comes true in a few months!
Just wanna say that you never should give up your interests or dreams, doesnt matter how old you are!!!!
My journey begins 2017 and yours?:))))

*the Company closes a project and splits us in different teams*

Me: *tells the manager for half a year about feeling extremely bad in the new team which is mobbing me, caling the previous project "shit" (it was not, it simply didn't need to be alive anymore cause we found out cheap alternatives) and not letting me do anything*

Company(half a year later): *sends me into a new project* we don't get why you are underperforming lately.

Me: *full burnout after half a year of being treated as living shit* yeah. Wonder why.

!dev but actual long rant - about the students in my grade.

TL;DR: 1 asshole in 10 people can ruin everything. Mobbing sucks. I dislike parties.

There's the word "Jahrgang" in Germany which means the people in the same school year as you. I'll refer to it as "my (collective) classmates" although we don't have classes anymore, rather courses and I also mean those I do not have courses with.

With that out of the way, let the rant begin.

It's often the case that people with high logical and intellectual skills (no being arrogant, other people categorize me like that) have a lack of social skills - or empathy.

I'm a kind of an outsider in a way that since 10th grade I stopped trying to attach myself to certain groups since I do not fit in there. I'm fine with that now. Nowadays I can at least socialize with other nerds.

Here's why I dislike the collective of my classmates. This year is my last school year and as always, a big group forms a spirit. They have a theme (superheroes - super boring). I didn't go to any party they threw and I don't plan to go to the graduation ceremony as well since it's an unofficial party and not a school event. I hate parties. I hate alc and drunken teenagers. I didn't attend the "Kursfahrt" - a kind of excursion that's like holidays with your course - mainly because I dislike my "Stammkurs" (main course).

Why? I had a friend in this course. She was short, geeky and I could actually talk to her. Yet some jerks (not intensely) bullied her because "she was awkward" and in the end, she switched school - also because of other reasons.
When she was gone, even those who didn't bully her and who are considered "nice" made fun of her and talked badly about her - and me hanging around with her. So since then, I avoid anything with them that's not 100% school related.

Now they're planning what we call "Abigag" - it's a joke/prank the graduates pull on the school and younger students, something funny like an entrance room full of balloons and many other things. Also, the "Abizeitung", the yearbook the graduates put out with articles about their courses, teacher ranking and quotes etc. Also, a cabaret evening from the graduates to collect money for the graduation party. Cool stuff actually. I thought about taking part.

I'd say my talents are creativity and computer stuff. So a friend chatted with me about nerdy pranks like a school-wide wallpaper change. Or releasing a fake password list of the teachers - claiming we hacked them - with puns and insiders about the teaches. He said he gotta invite me into the WhatsApp group of the Abi prank. Disclaimer: He's one of those people who are socialized but still able to talk with me. He's fine.

Well guess what he told me later:

They don't want me on the team since I distance myself from my classmates. I should either be fully one of them or not at all.

That's enough. Who distances whom? I thought they were happy to have me on board but horse shit! Stuck with ideologies from the 19th century.
They can lick my ***. I don't have anything against most of them in person but as a collective, they're just fucking stupid. I guess it wasn't even the majority saying they don't want me to help. It was probably just the small crew of leading and loud jerks. And no one would disagree with them saying "Why not? He wants to help?" (even if it was their opinion) - they don't have the brain or balls to say anything against the strong idiot leaders. They'll do great later in politics as an adult - they wouldn't criticize Hitler if they were under his "protection".

So I won't take part in making Abi pranks, - but also not the Paper and cabaret eve. They can go jerk off to being part of a huge collection of assholes - which I, in all my pride, am not part of other than on paper.

(Disclaimer: No critics to other outsiders but those who were engaged and responsible for the choice of not letting me help)

If anyone actually read this:
Who were/are you in school times?
A proud outsider like me? Party boi/girl? Engaged striver?

2nd day in new job. Random HR training blabbing about something (thanks God all remote so I just did things around house). Blabbing about diversity and other corporate brainwashing. Then she proceeds to say that if someone is introvert and doesn't like to interact with people then such person should look for work in some other company (wtf x1). Next in line her real life story how she yelled at her subordinates (wtf x2 who admits to mobbing xd ) but that's ok because she is choleric and people have to understand that different character types make their team better xD
I have a bad feelings about where this is going...

Obvious wisdom from me;
1. HR is not your friend. HR is created to protect companies from employees, not to protect employees from companies. HR serve the company and upper level management.
2. If you are victim of mobbing, keep a mobbing diary with exact quoting. Nothing more, nothing less, no speculation. Create an airtight case for future.
3. If you want to change because of mobbing, just find a new job. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT talk to HR about mobbing before you got another job offer at the ready.
4. Present HR with mobbing diary during your exit, imply that you will talk to CEO and take legal actions if you don't get a satisfactory last laugh on the mobber.
5. Do not accept counter-offer from your company-regardless of mobbing case or not. You considered switching to another company, you are branded now and you will be axed at the first chance. Counter-offer is not a guaranteed employment in your company.

My piece of shit boss saying "I missed you" after I was off for some time.
POS because he threatened to fire me and I didn't have a strong hand so I went along with that mobbing...

MOBBING DICTIONARY - 1 -

I would like to collect some sentences that amount to mobbing on the workplace, especially if repeated often and targeting the same person.

Sentence (flattering hypocrisy):
You are to good to waste your precious time in this demeaning task, let somebody else/me do it!.

Purpose:
demoting someone, alienate the target from crucial tasks and move the (important) tasks to the mobbers or somebody closer to them.

Result:
the targets usually don't buy the flattery, they are disgusted by it.
But they start to feel guilty: maybe they are not delegating enough, or not letting other people grow, or taking too much things on themselves.
They start to let go. But they have an hard time finding really more useful things to do.
They alienate themselves slowly from the team.
They'll be slowly fired.

“We mob every thing so that means we don’t need pull requests, because by the time the code is committed it’s had plenty of pairs of eyes on it”

Well, I beg to differ.
Today I read through some of this spaghetti mobbed code to look into a performance issue. Wasn’t supposed to but bored stiff so I ‘went dark’ and did it without the mob.

After about an hour I figured out it runs a few lines of dubious code and if there’s an error it tries many times over with an exponential back off.
And each run of the methods will fail for sure because of how it’s written.
Someone must’ve seen this problem but instead of realising it can never work, they’ve wrapped it in retries and back offs.

So many back offs and retries that it just sits there doing this for 25 minutes.

But yeah. The mobbing works great guys, keep churning out this quality code. 😂😂😂
Can’t wait to see the back of this joke job.

MOBBING DICTIONARY - 2 -

Sentence
(behind the back)
- he/she has no time, don't tell him/her these problems, don't speak with him/her, just speak with me

(explicitly)
- you have no time do this!. Let me/somebody else do it.

Purpose
- cutting the target out from the rest of the team. Redirect all communication in order to shield the target.

Result
He/she will loose the general vision. He/she will not understand anymore what the problems are. He/she will loose relevance and will not be able to manage his/her own time anymore.

He/she is probably working a lot, and doing a lot of effort. He/she will probably know how to use the time, and he/she needs the team to help with task no take the task out of him/her.

He/she will slowly burn out, specially if he/she discover that such things are happening behind his/her back.
The situation will add psychological problems to technical problems. He/she will be crushed to death.

Fuck. Mobbing really does fix everything wrong with development*

*Unless your colleagues are complete cunts

Worst was getting head hunted into my current role at this terrific company.
Three months later I’m done with it.
It’s not shit shitty codebase, or the lack of direction that self governing teams have. It’s not the megalomaniac company owner. It’s the bullshit team mobbing and 8 hours of video calls a day.

The best part.
Come he’ll or high water I’m getting myself out before the end of the year.
I’d rather be busy and have f’k all chance of promotion than any more of this. At least the day will fly by.
Just hope I don’t make the same mistake twice, that’s become my biggest worry now.

My math teacher.

Simple story: His way of teaching was like bible study - he dictates the mathematical rules, the students had to write it down _exactly_ as told.
(Yes. He even dictated spaces / newlines / ....).

Had him for many years....
Since I was the rotten apple in class (I was always very weak regarding math), he had joy in mobbing me specifically.

It was one of the reasons I never thought about programming at all - or to be more precise, I _feared_ programming since everyone told me it would require intense knowledge of math.

Well. Fast forward. I went to university despite my fear, just because I was too stubborn to prove my math teacher right.

He was one of the counseling teachers too - and he made _very_ clear that I would fail in _anything_ regarding mathematics job wise.

I failed university, yes.

I gave up simply because I was too bored to learn and replay stuff by heart you'll certainly never need to remember your whole life.

Math played a role, too. Since I lacked the whole mathematical background, I barely passed the tests (mostly by a point).

But thanks to a lot of friends I learned that mathematics is helpful for programming - but not a must.

After giving up university, I started an apprenticeship.

And while I dreaded the decision for a long time, I couldn't be more happy about it.

Just attended a code Dojo meetup by software craftsmanship peoples - a lot of fun!

MOBBING DICTIONARY - 3 -

Sentence (harsh public remark)
- You always want to do everything.

Purpose
- highlight a (true or false) defect of the target, a lie repeated thousands of time will become true.

Result
- whether or not that is true, everybody will start to see the target with that particular defect. Every action will be justified to correct the defect.

While it is often true that people at time have difficulty to delegate, usually the reason is not that they don't want to, but they don't know how.
The mobber want to remove the person rather than helping on the "how".

This strategy get the best result when the target is self aware, take the mobbing sentence as a constructive feedback and start to effectively delegate. He/she will contribute to make him/herself useless and could be later easily disposed of.

MOBBING DICTIONARY - 4 -

Sentence (in private, outside the scope of CEO or such)
- sort it out yourself! fuck you, worm! I'll get you fired! I'll crush you with an hammer
(something very insulting, screaming)

Purpose
- to exasperate the target. So he/she will fight back, maybe at the wrong time. Or he/she will try to stay quiet, but he/she will explode inside.
- make clear to everybody that the mobber is the danger

Result
- The mobber will deny he/she ever said that. The target cannot prove it. Nobody will support the target, not even the witnesses, as they are scared. The CxO will not believe he/she could have said that, because he/she is apparently mild mannered and respectful with all directive positions.
- The target has a dilemma: or he/she denounces the words to the managers, but he/she will be considered a defamer, or worst.
Or he/she takes it in, and in such case, he/she will be slowly destroyed psychologically.

Mobbing.

Yay or nae?

Mobbing vs pairing vs coding in your own.. gimi your reasons!

Any one got a good experience of mobbing ?
Seems like it’s one person driving and the 2-3 telling them what to type.
Couldn’t we just use some voice input software to do that?
I must be missing something