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Search - "one man army"
this image is fully authentic image of me as a single developer in a startup. All the used technologies in a single project.13
Managers: Fullstackclown!!!! When are those features we poorly designed and spec'd going to be released to production!?!?!??!!
Juniors: WE SO DUMB DUMB REEEEEEEEEE HELP FULLSTACKCLOWN!!!!! WE PRODUCE GARBAGE CODE THAT TAKES MORE OF YOUR TIME!!!!!!!!
Designers: Hur dur, how can I export this stuff to png, help us, Fullstackclown!!!
Fullstackclown: * inhales sharply * AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA7
Current work project is microservices architecture out of 4 - 8 components.
It is fully Infrastructure as a Code automatized. I just change somewhere code, git pushing
And it automatically invokes Gitlab CI, terraform, ansible, kubernetes helm charts.
Auto checking itself with unit and integration tests in autoredeployed staging env. Then it saves tested results to docker registry and asks for one button verificating click to be rereleased to prod.
I just go for drink or eat food. While all the stuff is happening.
And I am proud that all the infrastructure, backend and frontend I made on my own.
I don't need to remember how to Deploy it. It is all automatized3
Once again, due to poor management, I find myself exporting svgs from Figma, saving them as pngs, and importing them into our application... (remember I'm a developer, NOT a designer)
Don't we have a design team who can export the needed assets for a feature?
"Noooooo fullstackclown can do all of that himself! He's an expert!!!"
The fucks are lucky I dabble in digital art as a hobby and even know how to do this stuff...
I'm just FUCKING DONE. Everyone around me looks at me like a fucking paycheck they either don't want to pay me or like one they want from me but that I can't make enough of. Every time I open my stupid cakehole something stupid flies out of it that offends someone or makes me look incompetent or sets me back somehow. I'm not suicidal but I don't want to be on this planet anymore. I'm stranded here with nobody who wants to hire me and people around me who are tapping their feet waiting for people to hire me. I have nothing in my bank accounts to cover enormous and increasing monthly expenses coming up on the horizon and no way to pay for them. I have a stupid president who just keeps making it worse and worse with every stupid thing that comes out of his geriatric mouth or that he signs with his shaking dementia-ridden hand. He just keeps taxing me and taxing me and now has an army the size of the FUCKING NATIONAL GUARD of IRS agents ready to FUCK ME UP THE ASS if I have just one business expense out of order. I have all of this responsibility for my family and none of the power to do anything for them. And now that most of my kids are adults, none of them can afford to move out for the long-term future and also they're not able to get much money to help out so it's still incumbent on me to carry them until they're like FUCKING 35 YEARS OLD OR SOMETHING! The wife is pretty much sick of me and my shitty attitude about it all and she says she thinks that I think it's all her fault. We don't have any kind of romantic relationship anymore (well, I have all the interest and she has all the avoidance).
Also, I'm a man, and white, and straight, and "privileged" (oh, so privileged) so I'm the _worst person on the planet_.
I was born on this earth to be a FUCKING WARNING, not the lesson. When that meteor comes, let it take me out first.9