Screw Emojis!!

Client asks how many days will it take to implement feature XYZ.

I say 3 days. But Skype had other plans.

Just got this slack from our server admin.

A reality...

Using atom editor to edit source code for atom
W O A H

Changing numbers on CSS randomly until it works.

Aka, using magic numbers

30 year old starting to learn to code. Wish me luck!

My handwriting is so bad... That it is now being used as a Captcha.!

Don't understand USB storage?
Well here it is, in a nutshell -

Showed my boss DevRant, and now he wants me to make a BossRant..

I dont know origin anymore found it in a old backup :D

Linux doesn't need viruses people fuck that shit up themselves

🇮🌱👛♨💶♦

Her diary:
Tonight I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at a fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "Nothing". I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that i loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior, I can’t explain why he didn’t say, "I love you too". When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster :(

His diary:
My code is broken, can’t figure out why.

Guess who said he will sleep at 11PM and now he scrolls DevRant at 4AM?

Tonight: Learning Swift while listening to Taylor Swift.

Tv hacker: I'll write code to hack their security cameras

2 seconds later

Tv hacker: I'm in

Me: go fuck yourself you fucking fuck

Git blame strikes again

There is a love hate relationship between me and JavaScript and right now, the hate is winning

Facepalm moment

Been working from 8 am til 7:30 pm, no breaks. Programming is awesome, fun and feels good in my brain (addictive ^^). But man its good to be home and do nothing. ~ sweet ~

They said: hey, we need to hire a guy to work directly with you and help with your everyday tasks.
They didn't say that he will be in a different country.

The hardest part about being a developer is constantly having to come up with nice ways to tell people they are idiots.

No I can't just "add some AI because it's cool right now". 😒

I usually avoid procrastination by turning off my phone, not going on social networks or YouTube and by setting some goals to achieve in a day.

Deadlines, deadlines everywhere.

When you work for school IT you find these kinds of things sometimes when cleaning the office. And yes it's fully functional

Uber driver: What do you do?

Me: I make apps and do some server side programming

Uber driver: Does that mean you have to type in 1s and 0s all day?

More and more of my friends and family are finding out I'm an Android Developer. I'm so sick of hearing, "Hey, I have a great idea for an app...". They all think you can build a good mobile app from scratch in a few days.

Why is it so uncomfortable working in an open space office!

Development team of two, small company. Project manager is a fucking carpenter. With zero programming experience. also he's also the IT manager. FML.