One of our customer thought it would be too unsecure to send us his AWS credentials by email. So he printed it and sent it as registered mail to us. The password we received was "hallo123".

Stop f*cking calling me minority or part of a underrepresented group. Yeah I noticed I am one of the only women on a conference. I DONT CARE, I AM A PROGRAMMER NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE. Hire me for my work, not because you want you company to be more diverse.

Taking my occulus reef and going to explore the real reality !

Never ask a woman about their age.

Never ask a man about their wage.

Never ask a dev about their bugs.

no matter how big shot programmer you are, you 90% time you will only code
if(condition)
{
// do something
}
else
{
// do something else
}

Manager: this is your first day in your first job right?

Me: yes mam!

Mngr: Good .. here take this system understand it and read all of the source codes.

Me: hmmm Umm ok ... where's the documentation?

Mngr: no documentations ... the contractor left without providing the documents for it so we need you to understand everything ... as we have alot of enhancements lined up for it ... and we're too cheap to hire someone with advanced knowledge on this ... goodluck!

Me: ......

I am more thankful to StackOverFlow and Google than I am to my university.

Experience anyone ?

Future is comming!

When your internet speed is so fucking slow, you can't even git push 😢

The wildest part about the new Algo algorithm is that I'm now getting notifications from rants that I made from like 3 weeks ago. It's kinda of like a royalty check.

At middle school they kept on banning the flash game sites so I made one my self but it was called something like mathhomework.somefreehost.com, the landing page looked like a homework site and all the flash games were called something like problem_1.swf. I use to sell logins to class mates at like £2.50.

A good web developer...

correctly named devices

I hate when I'm trynna Google something, but I don't really know what it is... So I don't know how to phrase it...

When you gain access to the network gear..

*first class*
Teacher: Ok, you have to write if you know how to code, and write the languages too.
Guy in front of me: Yeah! Code!
Me: Hey, you know any language?
Guy: Sure! PHP...
Me: *Hm, okay, maybe he's goo...*
Guy: ...and HTML
Me: ...

Someone steals my external monitor.
me: That's my monitor
thief: No its mine. See all my desktop icons are there.
me: speechless

That moment when you got a new monitor but have to wait 4 more days for the mini DisplayPort to DVI adapter to arrive to be able to use it 😫

"Shit, did we just send that notification to everyone?" - some dev, probably

And that was enough encouragement

When you go to paste a piece of code with CTRL+V and accidentally press CTRL+C instead so you have to go back and re-copy it.

FUCK PEOPLE WHO INDENT LIKE THIS YOU MAKE ME SICK

😂😂😂

Boss: "Can we create apps that are supercool, superfast, supercustomizable and superhitech?"
Me: "If you want apps like these I have to use this tool, this language and this other stuff. Just keep in mind that are new technologies for me and I need to study a lot before develop everything"
Boss: "Ok! can you do it for tomorrow?"
Me: "...."

does stackoverflow team use their site if they have issues with coding?

"so you use Ubuntu" she said ,
"why don't you go for Linux ?" she asked.

so I dumped my girlfriend

When you are a dev/designer and you see an invoice with £225 for making a favicon with an existing logo, you know where most Web Agencies stand.

Windows is probably good now...

And Real Player probably isn't buffering anymore either.

Still don't want to try either.

Android is upgrading...

Optimising app 1 of 93563