I appreciate “elegant” code the same way I appreciate fine wine: pretending to care while quietly sitting, passively listening to snobs drone on about barrel aging and vineyards and languages, statically-typed while simultaneously shutting my brain off, ordering another shot of tequila and working up the courage to fight my dad.

What happens when you talk to clients.

Would you merge this shit into your project?

A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.

Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?

Source: Twitter @cryptomanran

Happy belated birthday to me

😂😂😂😾the ways of the universe

"Deal with the difficult while it is yet easy;
Deal with the great while it is yet small." - Tao Te Ching

Recently, I launched a website to practice and perfect a lightweight Larval CMS that is forcing me to learn Databases and good sanitization practices.

Trolling Zuckerberg's Facebook for Images to make potential MeMes, I can't help but notice he has quite a ridiculous and unrealistic amount of instances in which he seems to be talking to military and government officials.

Figured I'd use the old humor as a weapon to shed light upon this.

I've just realized that I am too damn annoyed when somebody touches my workspace without me knowing. It's not right to flip out that easy and probably it's about my current mental condition.
And the thing is I'm more annoyed due to knowing that. Ironic.

Developers have given semicolons a lot of power

A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .

In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.

A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.

A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”

When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.

IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…” 

The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.

The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.

The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.

I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them

The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.

I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...

The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.

I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!

DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them

The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.

The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh

I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…

100$ a year, and this is the detailed crash info...

100$ a year...

Security tester: Injects XSS into a rich text editor and flags it for a vulnerability.

"Oh that's fine, let's just disable right click on our page so no one can inspect the page and inject anything."

...

My boss ladies and gentlemen.

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

(•_•)
<) )╯i
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> got
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> promoted
/ \

Go to check some random programming stream and joined at a time where he's looking confused, about seemingly how "hello world" turned into "ass" hahaha

*searches on Stackoverflow on how to push and pull to an array of size 2*

$ alias please="sudo"

$ please rm /* -r

Bittersweet moment today, the interns last day was today, the improvements they made over the last 4 months, putting up with my “Gordon Ramsey” style attitude... definitely goes down in the books as one of best groups of freshman interns. They all truly thanked me for what they learned I sat them down and did a code review with them... but fooled them and showed them code they wrote 4 months ago.. they totally forgot about.. and couldn’t believe it was their own code.. that’s the level professionalism and improvement they made writing embedded software in 4 months.. they can’t wait to for next summer, neither can I.
Even had some of the electrical interns asking our department manager if they could switch to more software focused during their next rotation. Just so they can be under me.
I may be hard and a dick at time... but they learn! And it says a lot when you have college students impacted enough and see other students benefit so much that the “outsiders” wanna switch majors or focuses.!

This is so true.

No one:
Airpod users:

being a programming language be like...

अहं ब्रम्हास्मि!

So i heard that if You contribute to open source, repo authors, after many contributions send You a medal representing a project You contributed right?

So devs with many open source contributions go to interviews with open source uniforms with medals pinned in so HR at the door knows who are they dealing with?

Or is this a legend?