devRant - A fun community for developers to connect over code, tech & life as a programmer

"Are you familiar with uploading your code to Google Drive?"

I left the building at that exact moment.

This facts are killing me

"During his own Google interview, Jeff Dean was asked the implications if P=NP were true. He said, "P = 0 or N = 1." Then, before the interviewer had even finished laughing, Jeff examined Google’s public certificate and wrote the private key on the whiteboard."

"Compilers don't warn Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean warns compilers."

"gcc -O4 emails your code to Jeff Dean for a rewrite."

"When Jeff Dean sends an ethernet frame there are no collisions because the competing frames retreat back up into the buffer memory on their source nic."

"When Jeff Dean has an ergonomic evaluation, it is for the protection of his keyboard."

"When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation."

"When Jeff has trouble sleeping, he Mapreduces sheep."

"When Jeff Dean listens to mp3s, he just cats them to /dev/dsp and does the decoding in his head."

"Google search went down for a few hours in 2002, and Jeff Dean started handling queries by hand. Search Quality doubled."

"One day Jeff Dean grabbed his Etch-a-Sketch instead of his laptop on his way out the door. On his way back home to get his real laptop, he programmed the Etch-a-Sketch to play Tetris."

"Jeff Dean once shifted a bit so hard, it ended up on another computer. "

joke/meme jeff dean facts

6

*finishes MATLAB course*
My blanket when I wake up and think about my expired license which I won't renew:

joke/meme

7

uh-oh.. Looks like DevRant's certificate has expired :)

random devrant

15

My version of russian roulette. :)

joke/meme meme joke funny

1

I gotta say... this shit is actually really strong especially when you grind it to espresso “dust”.... and put it in a Moka Pot.... don’t drink more than 2 coffee cups full .... it’s crazy

rant

8

Just applied for a position at pornhub. Wish me luck !

rant

38

Docs!

joke/meme docs

8

I'll just leave this here

joke/meme

7

I'm a programmer, I don't have life

joke/meme language python

30

Can I please have your attention?

Fuck soap.

Thank you for your attention.

rant that is all

17

Toilets and race conditions!

A co-worker asked me what issues multi-threading and shared memory can have. So I explained him that stuff with the lock. He wasn't quite sure whether he got it.

Me: imagine you go to the toilet. You check whether there's enough toilet paper in the stall, and it is. BUT now someone else comes in, does business and uses up all paper. CPUs can do shit very fast, can't they? Yeah and now you're sitting on the bowl, and BAMM out of paper. This wouldn't have happened if you had locked the stall, right?

Him: yeah. And with a single thread?

Me: well if you're alone at home in your appartment, there's no reason to lock the door because there's nobody to interfere.

Him: ah, I see. And if I have two threads, but no shared memory, then it is as if my wife and me are at home with each a toilet of our own, then we don't need to lock either.

Me: exactly!

rant race condition toilet

12

[Image:Android Emulator Api 27(google play)]
It is in the public emulator now.Good job google employee😃

joke/meme fail google android emulator

13

When PC meets tale....

rant quest tale wizard computer pc stop error

4

Motherfucker I'm back.

rant ohai back hello

52

Unreal engine going mr.savage

”Asking for a friend” lol

joke/meme

Not so fast .DS_Store😏

joke/meme mac git github

3

worth it
http://expensivecheesegrater.com

joke/meme

3

So relaxing...
`brew install asciiquarium`

random perl

4

I/O 2019

joke/meme

1

Watching and learning 🤨

joke/meme developer learning to code noobie

3

every single fuckening day

devrant fuckening definition documentation

2

"I'm a full stack dev."

<html>
<h1 style="color: red">
<?php echo("Hello world"); ?>
</h1>
</html>

...

rant php backend dev full stack html frontend

16

You might have seen servers running XP, but have you ever seen a car running CE?

rant car telnet windows security

26

A girl just canceled our first date to watch Avenger's Endgame with her friends. Pres ++ to pay respects.

random ended my game date avengers

45

A Machine Learning algorithm walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, "What'll you have?"
The algorithm says, "What's everyone else having?"

joke/meme

1

New avatar pet for our Linux crew: The Majestic Penguin!

devrant linux penguin avatar

24

Say no to java xD

joke/meme #java #.net #developers

8

> build.gradle == lifeispain
TRUE

rant dev life developer android studio pain pain in the ass gradle android android developer life is pain google

1

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

joke/meme knock knock jokes

16