Story of a penguin fledgling, one of my end users whom I migrated from Win 7 to Linux Mint. She had been on Windows since Win 98 and still uses Windows at work.

Three months before. Me, Linux might not be as good, but Win 10 is even worse. User, mh.
Migration. User, looks different, but not bad.
One month later. User, it's nice, I like it.
Three months later. User, why does Windows reboot doing lengthy stuff?
Six months later. User, I hate Windows. Why is everyone using this crap?
One year later. Malware issues at work. User to IT staff, that wouldn't have happened with Linux. Me, that's the spirit!

There's nothing like cleaning out a cupboard of stuff you have long since moved on from only to find this hidden in the corner.

I once had a Mac, it's still a piece of shit and I'm not convinced Apple ever made life easier to use one of these 😅

A story about the shittiest boss I ever had.

We were a consulting company, I was leading the dev team. We're on the phone with a client who needs a change to the software we're maintaining for them.

Boss (mouthes at me): How long?
I (hold up 3 fingers, mouth back): 3 days
Boss (to client): You have it by tomorrow. *hangs up*
I: What the actual fuck?
Boss: You said 3 days, 3 times 8h is 24h, better order some pizza and Red Bulls for your guys.

He pulled stunts like this all the time and yet genuinely seemed surprised when I quit.

I did just quit my job.
It was my first job ever.
The only job I've ever had.

But I kinda couldn't take it anymore, the pay was a bit too low and the projects were really demanding.

On Monday, I'll sign my new contract in another company, I'm REALLY looking forward to it and barely can wait!

I'll be working with just one tech-stack which is awesome compared to now where I have to work on like 5 different stacks, sometimes in a single day.

I can't wait for the new job to kick in.

Did you hear about the new currency called "Bragging Rights"? It's gonna go to the moon!

VP: We're going to have HR join the call.
Me: Okay. *Shrug*
(HR Joins)
VP: I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go. I'll need you to return your laptop.
Me: Okay. *Shrug*
VP: ...
HR: ...
HR: Do you want to know why we're letting you go?
Me: Nah. Bye.

After five years of working in terrible conditions for terrible to mediocre people, I accepted losing my job without worry. In a way, I was thankful.

I wanted to quit so many times.

I'm much happier these days.

Start working on ticket
Looks at code
WTF is the shit?
Open devRant to rant
1.5 hours later
what was I doing?

One thing I've learned repeatedly over the last 20 years is that companies are generally not deserving of your loyalty.

By all means, show up, apply yourself, and do your best work, that's just being a professional. But never get emotionally invested in a company you don't own.

There are really only two reasons for staying: earning or learning, ideally both. Once you have exhausted your current employer's limits in this regard, move on, you don't owe them anything.

In Soviet Union, people cut x-ray films into circles and used them to make vinyl records of popular Western music that wasn't available because of the iron curtain. Sound quality was atrocious, but that wasn't the point. I have several of such records in my vinyl collection, it was my grandma who was involved in this culture when she was young.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...

My default algorithm

One of my friends said "kiki, why you never show your paintings to anyone?"

But if I show you my fangs, will you tell me that they're cool? Sometimes I scare myself.

Feeling super anxious and going through analysis paralysis

Online team meeting at 9:30 am, I wake up at 9:25 am

Wake up. Meeting was moved at 9:00 am and renamed to "CRITICAL". It's been 45 minutes and I still don't know what broke, but I'm too scared to ask.

I am a clever man. I am not a smart man

15 min till technical interview with IBM:
Trying to convince myself I’m not an imposter. 🙃

10 min after the interview:
I’m thinking how for the last 15 min of the interview they were pitching about how great the life at IBM is and why I should join.

Happy Chinese New Year guys!

TypeScript and JavaScript

Why would she contact me for a job that needs ASAP attention and not show up after I gave her my salary expectation, I bet she is expecting a $1-$2 salary expectation from me, crazy recruiters I wonder if there's a university for that shit,

Hi guys, another recruiter shit!!!!

Dear companies.

Please don't read resume on holidays.
It make me doubt work environment.

!rant I finished crocheting the capelet I was working on. Not too bad for a first attempt, I think!

I HATE this kind of popups

"Hey, Root, someone screwed up and now all of our prod servers are running this useless query constantly. I know I already changed your priorities six times in the past three weeks, but: Go fix it! This is higher priority! We already took some guesses at how and supplied the necessary code changes in the ticket, so this shouldn't take you long. Remember, HIGH PRIORITY!"

1. I have no idea how to reproduce it.
2. They have no idea how to reproduce it.
3. The server log doesn't include queries.
4. The application log doesn't include queries.
5. The tooling intercepts and strips out some log entries the legendary devs considered useless. (Tangent: It also now requires a tool to read the logs because log entries are now long json blobs instead of plain text.)
6. The codebase uses different loggers like everywhere, uses a custom logger by default, and often overwrites that custom logger with the default logger some levels in. gg
7. The fixes shown in the ticket are pretty lame. (I've fixed these already, and added one they missed.)
8. I'm sick and tired and burned out and just can't bring myself to care. I'm only doing this so i don't get fired.
9. Why not have the person who screwed this up fix it? Did they quit? I mean, I wouldn't blame them.

Why must everything this company does be so infuriatingly complicated?

LOL Have I Been Pwned has pwned itself, cost-wise. Here the steps:
1) Go all in on cloud shit like Azure
2) Think you're a smartass
3) Trick the cost side with even more cloud, this time Cloudflare
4) Be not quite as smart as you think
5) Enjoy your 7000 EUR bill
6) Make some tweaks and continue with step 2.

Source: https://troyhunt.com/how-i-got-pwne...

Bonus laughter: he's a "Microsoft Most Valuable Professional", though not an actual employee.

I was today years old when I figured this.

Whoever named the app and designed the logo is an absolute fucking genius.

Up for a rollercoaster?

I had a super motivated day where i could focus and wanted to get my work done. My stupid work lappy instead kept throwing tantrums and totally prevented me from working. (Everything caused disk thrashing, took multiple minutes instead of seconds, etc.) Total shit day, but I felt great.

Next morning, I woke up all achy and cold. Ignored it and went to work. I was able to fix everything, and got my benchmarks running smoothly in all of fifteen minutes. Got good results, too! Left work and got married at the courthouse. :)

Went to a restaurant afterward, and two jolly fat guys (Off-duty Santa?!) bought us lunch.

Got home and… started feeling really awful. A little while later, I had a 102*f fever. Collapsed on the floor with an electric blanket and was absolutely miserable. Just kind of stared for hours, aching everywhere. Eventually went to bed, and my wife (!) made me all warm and comfy. And then I proceeded to be completely unable to sleep. Or move. Or think. Laid there for four hours unable to move, and shaking violently at any touch of cold air.

Now it’s 1am and I’m here at the freezing kitchen table writing this.

I am miserable.
Absolutely miserable.
But still happy, too!

🥶👰‍♀️💍👰🏻‍♀️

Programmers are everywhere. I found professional Programmers in unrelated hobby groups twice.

Even my boyfriend had JAVA coding experience to build some private server following online tutorials.

I should put "Have 3 years of meetings experience" in my resume.

Intern: Can I fix this?

Dev: sure whatever

(Intern makes breaking change.)

Dev:

My CTO prefers to hire very expensive consultants than to trust on staff. It's funny, because he also decided that all technical teams should run on the absolute minimal amount of resources.

You can't imagine how shitty it felt this morning when he sent an email talking about a security consultant that we should hire, just because he thinks the guy could "take our expertise to the next level".
They will charge us 450/hour to run assessments, to find the exact same things my team discovered a year ago.

So I've got my first sort of proper gig. I'm tasked with writing...

A goddamn minecraft plugin in java.
Well, it's actually rather fun strangely enough. My ideas of payment were not declined but rather accepted, the other devs are nice and everything is going well for now.

Also: Do expect a mental breakdown post next week or so