I had to explain what version control was to the dinosaur last week. (Our cto, for more context check last post)

So we've been having issues getting our infrastructure dude to do deployment because he is sick of the treatment he gets here and has basically checked out.

Deployments then fell onto the dinosaur. After struggling for an eternity to figure out app settings (any junior dev could figure this out) he finally deployed, however it was from qa branch.

I gently reminded him that we were deploying from master and that all changes in qa should be merged to master when testing phase is over.

He informed me that 'he doesn't think that's a good idea because if we merge to master and there's problems then it's fucked forever and there is nothing we can do'

I stood there with my mouth hanging ajar until I finally managed to squeeze out 'that's literally what git is for....' 🤡

Why is everybody on LinkedIn “excited to announce …”?

Software is such an awe inspiring concept if you really think about it. We literally create our own reality from scratch. Binary for the wrong architecture? Don't worry we can emulate it. Network? Fully software defined. Heck, the servers don't even know if it's real or all in software. You know what? Fuck it! The machine isn't real either! All virtualized or software emulated

I'm really bad at putting things into words but the idea of software truly amazes me

Today was a productive day

Worked for an entire hour.
Then won 4 war Thunder games
Climbed 300 in clash of Clans
Took a nap
Had a beer

Twitter comments are shit
How the fuck to use them? Why don't they just show one under another? If post has more than 2 replies it can be clicked to open its direct replies, some of them are shown in main thread, some of them are shown under opened thread. Some replies from main thread are shown under child thread. And to make it even worse any comment of sub thread can be expanded as well showing some random replies that could be expanded recursievly so you may end in main thread again. It is just impossible to read all replies in chonological order. Show me the moron who made this, I wanna kill him....

Boss: Our customer's data is not syncing with XYZ service anynmore!

Me: Ok let me check. Did the tokens not refresh? Hmm the tokens are refreshing fine but the API still says that we do not have permissions. The scopes are fine too. I'll use our test account... its... cancelled? Hey boss, why is our XYZ account cancelled?

Boss: Oh, "I haven’t paid since I didn’t think we needed it" (ad verbatim)

😐

Imagine saving Integers and Floats in a MySQL table as strings containing locale based thousand sepatators...
man... fickt das hart!

Wait, there's more!
Imagine storing a field containing list of object data as a CSV in a single table column instead of using JSON format or a separate DB table.... and later parsing it by splitting the CSV string on ";"...

I work with absolute 🤡🤡🤡s.

That is all.

When writing a JavaScript guide, please don't use emojis as keys in objects. Or anywhere else in code. Zoomers will think it's common practice.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Sincerely,
everyone

All drunk coding experiences are the worst

This is what I have to deal with in my sad sad life

Copilot Copilot Copilot. Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot .

Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot,Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot. Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot.

Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot, Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot.

Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot.

Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot.

Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot Copilot C̴̪̀́͜o̷̼̠̠̙͐̿p̶̼̠͝i̷̡͋ĺ̸͚͔ō̷̥̃̀t̵̮͑ ̵͓̜̥͝C̶͖̯̋͑ó̸̖́p̵͓̣͂͝i̵͈̅̔̔l̶̤͔̲̀̒o̴͙̳͓̟̓͋ṭ̶̌̍ ̶͙̜̂̕C̵̡̖̥̑͋̕ͅo̷͎͈͕̝̒͒̓̃p̴̢̒͐i̴͈̳̥͑̂͜l̵̨͕̝̏͆́o̸͖̲̝̅̇̽̚t̷͙͠ ̴̮̪͚̔C̸̨͑̑͊o̵͕̘̝̭̿̑p̵͉̯͙̈̐i̴̺̖̻͑̀͝l̵̛̫̂̉o̸͕͈̭̣͌̉̍t̵͈͇͊͝ ̶̧̇͊C̶͜͠ő̶̯̍̑p̴̡͕̩̲̉̿͊͒ì̷̪͇l̴͔̜̈̾̓ŏ̷̟̠͚̟̽̒ť̷̰͆̎̅ ̴̣̦̯̰͊C̸̢̥̖̐ơ̵̩̤̝̈́͐p̶͈̹̀i̷̳̰̅̍͆̾l̶̛͕͜͠ō̶̩̫̔t̵̻̖͎͑̀̒ ̵̰͛̐C̵̗̠̘̰͆̂͋ő̷̻p̵̱̲̏̽i̵̡͖͚̾ͅl̷͔̣̓̏o̷̻̬̱͖͗͒̍ ̷̣̳̗͚͉̭̬̣̬͖̯̠͎̩͇̃́̀̍̍̾̀̃̓͂ͅC̶̨̗͉̄̾̈́͌̌̽̆̒̈́̿͗o̴͋̆̌̓̋ ̴̨̪̲͈̣̳̺̙̬̘͉̗̹̥͙̋̐͋͠͝ͅC̸̡̨̢̥̟̘͕͉̱̦͍̬͉̰̈̔̍̓̍̽͂̈͆̓̚͜͜ͅo̶͇͔̹̅̽p̶̛̙̮̣̮̪͂̾̑̔̚ͅį̵̢̝͍̯̼̯͖̝̞̬͉͍̱̗̋͂̉̀̽̽̃͑͘ͅl̷̡̢̦̤͉̘̗͉̦̪̮͆́́̊̽̈́̾͊̑̋̃̚̕͜o̷̻̯̣̯̰̳̩̮͚͂̃̏̇ț̷̠̳̲̖̭̲̺̻̱̘͚͑́͜͜ ̴̻̙̏̊̓̌́̕ͅC̸̨̧̞̱͔̼͓͕͔͖̙̀͒͆͜͜o̷̡̊p̴̦̹͙̻͖͚̤̲̏̃̐͛͐̈́͌́͜ỉ̵̤̣̟̬̌̃̽̏̉͛̃͂̀̽̀̈́̚͝l̸̖͇̟͙̭̳̦̺̭̼̣̰̈́̐̽́̉̂̈̋̂̉̍̅ó̴̯͓̭̮̻̂͆͒̂̽̐́̈́͜͝t̴͍͎̃͌́̽̈́̈́́̕̚͠͝͝ ̸̛̹̩̮͉̗̝̺̫̩̉́̀̅͛͋͑̄̾̌̒̏̈̚͠C̸̡̟͈̮͕̼̝͔̟̯̱͚̭̘̆͒̚̕ò̷̧̜̺̪̯̙̲̠́p̷̞̺̝̘̮̗̖̟̦͔͖̩͙̣̘͛̊̾͌̇̅͜ͅi̷̡̠̳̯͈̎̈́̐̓͒͐͋̇͋̉̑͠l̷̥̞͍̈́̿͆̾̍͘o̷̧̢̞̺̫̝̦̤͆͌̾͆̑̀͝t̷̢̟͚̦̐̎̍̆͘͝ ̷̧̹͉̙͓͙̘͔̮͓̜̰̯͙̘̈́̆̀̿͠F̶̗͗̍̌̊͋̀̀͊û̸̢͓̯̣͔͒c̴̢̛̼̬͇̤̹̠̘͑̆͜ͅk̸̨͉̟̠̙͔͖̊̒̾̋̎̈́́̏̈́͜ ̷̨̻͍͚͙͉̝̥͔̽̓̊́̓̏͘̕̕ͅF̸̻̘̣͉̰͎̮̩̖̄̀̌͌͗͌͝ư̴̧̨̧̪͎̺̲̣̞̓̈́͐̈́̇͠ͅċ̷͈̪̏͆̇k̷̫̖̎̋͒̉͗̔̔͠ ̷̧͎̝̥̪́͑͛͊F̵̭͍̩͉̞̲̅͋͗̀̎̽̚u̵̹͗̈́̀c̵͇̣̯̖̓̾̍̅̇͑̅̚̚̚k̸͈̯̖͎̫̐̓͛͑̓̓̾͊͝ ̸̰̳̦̮̖̠̥̘̭͛̑͂́̀F̵̡̲͓͎͓͇͉̲̋̅̀͆͝u̸͔̘̠̬̝͇̗͠ͅc̵̘̞̳͌͠k̴̩̻͖̍͒̆͂̓͆͗͛͗̚ ̸̬̖̉̈́̚F̸̫͎̺͛̉̔͂͜u̶̝̙͉͍͔̻͔̫̠̇̿̄c̷͙̝̳̥̙̆̉̀k̷̡̰̻͎̈͒͊̓͂̓̒ ̴̝͉̪̝̜̤͇̖͒̏͜F̶̡̢̱͉͕̱͖̭̤̯̈̐̒̀͊ų̸̩͓̦̱̝͋͑ç̴̛͙̬̫̗̎̂̓̍͑͆͝k̴̡͔̞͚͕̟͇̬͖̾͊̄ͅ ̵̳̱̝̖̳͚̗̰̎̃͑͌̈͐̕ͅF̷͔̮̘̙̞̭͊̃̎͝ų̷̒̓̇̈̑̋̑͝c̷̻̭̘̰̠̽͘͘k̵̨̲̥̳͐̒̌̇͆̽̿̕͠ ̴̫̽̄͆͘F̵̧̊̅͐̌̀͗̓̈́̚u̵͉̭̤͎̳̲̗̐̃̿͆̀c̵̦͕̳̥͕͉̑͜͠ͅk̶̯̝͚̲̙̞̖̣̀̈́͆̈̕͝ ̸̡̢̩̖̮̻̤̣͚̈́̋F̶̺͎̜̪͔̄̿͊͘͝͝͠ų̸̧͔̬͔̟̪̒̉͘̕̚͝ͅc̵̥͖͓͔͍̙̩̟͆̊͒̆́̈́̍͝͠ķ̶̛̮̩̖̇͘ ̴̨͎͉̩̱̲̲̭̅́̐̃́́̇F̴̨̺́̓̐̈́̿̌̉͝͝͠u̸̲̼̗̬̼̰͛͌̋̌̉̽̊̓̊͐ć̴̨̳̹̥͛̐̓̋̓͝͝ͅk̴͍̟̼̆́̓́̓̽̂̀̅̉ ̷̧͍̬̭͚̹̔͋͘͠F̴̨̛̝͉͉̜͕̣̹̃̑͛́̏͛̕u̴̟̪͂̈́̀̀̑̏̿ç̷̨͎̺̼̬̳̀̊̊̇͒̈͐̋͘k̵̛̼̺̞͉͕̔̈͒̓͋̅͆̾ ̵̙̭̪̯̮̆̿̂̓̏́̅̕͜͝ͅF̷͚̻̩̹͎̪͔̺̟̓͋̂͒͑͑͂̍̚u̴̪̮͂̓̏͗͆̽͆͛͑ç̵͍͇̻͙̀̿ͅk̵̨̝̬̈́̿̽͆̽͠ ̷̨̱̜̮͖̗̫̣̅͐͊̑͗̌̈̿F̵̨̦̹͎̃̆̑u̶̬̪͓̣̟̒̓̈̄͊̈́̄̐̂͜͝c̶͎̦̳͉͚̪̣̣̺̄̀̃̔k̶͇̯̥̙͎̮͓̖̅̇̎̉ ̸̛̜̹̼̉͌F̷̖̜̫̳̫̳͇̾́̂̋̚ͅu̴͓̟̐̑̕c̸͉̩̦̟͕͔̀̏̊ḱ̸͈̥̪̜̓̾̽̄͒͛ͅ ̶̛̻̃̈́̋̄͐̄F̵̮̺̟̃̇͆̀͂̉̓̐u̵̢̡̖̠̗̺̺̞̒c̴̢̧̠͉̻͈͚͔͛͑͝͝k̴̛̮̙͓̪̱͕̩͍͔͒͗̌̓̅͝ͅ ̵̰̲̪̤͉̜̗̺̏͌̆̌̇͛̚͜

> make a change
> PR gets rejected
> IHATEFORALIVING! YOUR CHANGE IS NOT WORKING! EVERYTHING BREAKS!
> 3 hours long debugging session
> We find out a whole bunch of bugs
> Suddenly, everything works
> None of the bugs had ANYTHING to do with my change. In the instances where the app broke, my code wasn't even being called at all.
> My change was literally the one and only working thing

I wish life was like in The Office, when you just stop what you're doing and you drop the Jim stare at some camera

The IT guy my parents had often at their home.

This guy thought me how to manage our network, how to create mobile apps. How to debug problems and so on. He sparked so much interest for computers in me and now i can't stop fiddleing around with computers.

Also this "electrician" who worked for my parents.
Basically he fixxed old keyboards, loudspeakers and stuff like that. He thought me about resistors, transistors, blue prints and how to solder stuff.

"Lötzinn blödsinn"

They both started my journey into the rabbit hole of technology.

DNS is everywhere.

I hate DNS.

I hate DNS migrations.

I hate having a hundred plus DNS names inside my brain.

I hate resolving issues.

I hate DNSSEC.

I hate CNAMES.

I hate services which cannot be persuaded to stop trying AAAA resolves first.

I hate the fucking stupid braindead idea to use TXT as a configuration store inside DNS... And thus the necessity to blow up DNS query size aka EDNS.

I really really really really really want to burn this whole mfucking shit down...

Sure sex is cool but have you ever deleted Microsoft Teams from your phone?

Interviews for developers should say: This is an error on production. You have 10 min to find the solution on google.
This is more efficient than making developers write algorithms.

Yeap.... we are

Solid improvements.

What's your starting line on Tinder?
Me : Hello World!

>installed Tinder®

*after 5 mins

>felt like a loser
>uninstalled Tinder®
>back to coding

BETTER!!!

Them: "Could you send the password in an encrypted mail?"
Me: "Yea sure, what's your GPG public key?"
Them: "What's that? Can't you just encrypt it?"
Me: "Nvm, do you have Signal?"

Sometime it feels like I'm surrounded with idiots.

Got a Ticket:

Support: Please delete installation ABC from Server D.

Me: Checks everything. Installation is on Server E. Asks if this is correct?

Support: Just follow the instructions!

Me: Okey dokey. If you want me to be a hammer the installation is a nail... Drop database, Remove all files. nuke K8s resources

Support: Why did you delete the installation ABC? You should delete XYZ!

Me: Cause the ticket told to delete ABC on Server D and YOU told me to follow your instructions!

Support: Yeah but we just reused an old ticket. We wanted XYZ deleted!

It's not a big deal I can restore the shit but I hate it if a day starts with this kind of shit!

We have an API which returns 600 MB of JSON.

Because client "Wants to see everything first and then apply filters, just like Excel".

FML
Edit and ofc thier laptops with core i3 and 4GB of ram can't even process that.

Made a little program to draw svg images on an oscilloscope using XY mode. Heres tux!

As a visual learner, how should I become good at backend development.
I am struggling with this right now. I need to have a diagram in my mind. Bog data is challenging me nowadays a lot.

Any strategies from the experienced devs here?

"Hard times make good developers
Good developers create good frameworks
Good frameworks create bad developers
Bad developer make hard times" - Wisdom from internet

In 2025, JS-frameworks will outnumber humans.

It's 20-fucking-21 and I'm still asked to provide paper copies of my thesis. 😐

It's snowing outside and I don't have a usb to copy my shit and bring it to the "copy and bind" guy, so this is gonna be fun. (said no one, ever)

Oh, also, offices are closed so handover is going to be even more fun. 😐

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!