Version Control for Writing [more details]

My wife opens a document, writes her entire paper and uses the close ❌ button to save it.

I think I married an adrenaline junkie.

My first poem for programmer girl 😘😘😘

My life is incomplete without you,
You are semicolon of my life

You are my increment operator,
you make my value increases

I am username and you are my password,
without you No one can access me

You are my initializer,
without you my life would point to nothing (NULL or “0”)

If I were a function you must be my parameter,
Because I will always need you

Can you be my private variable?
I want to be only one who can access you

You are my compiler,
My life wouldn’t start without you

You are my loop condition ,
I keep coming back to you

My love to you is like recursive function,
It will never ends & Will never enter into infinite loop

Forever and Ever

Cross platform desktop application for devRant [more details]

Free, Open-Source, Desktop & Hacking Simulator game. [more details]

Got this from a recruiter:

We are looking for a **Senior Android Developer/Lead** at Philadelphia PA

Hiring Mode: Contract

Must have skills:

· 10-12 years mobile experience in developing Android applications
· Solid understanding of Android SDK on frameworks such as: UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation, Network Programming, etc.
· Good Knowledge on REST Ful API and JSON Parsing
· Good knowledge on multi-threaded environment and grand central dispatch
· Advanced object-oriented programming and knowledge of design patterns
· Ability to write clean, well-documented, object-oriented code
· Ability to work independently
· Experience with Agile Driven Development
· Up to date with the latest mobile technology and development trends
· Passion for software development- embracing every challenge with a drive to solve it
· Engaging communication skills

My response:

I am terribly sorry but I am completely not interested in working for anyone who might think that this is a job description for an Android engineer.

1. Android was released in September 2008 so finding anyone with 10 years experience now would have to be a Google engineer.
2. UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation are all iOS frameworks
3. Grand Central Dispatch is an iOS mechanism for multithreading and is not in Android
4. There are JSON parsing frameworks, no one does that by hand anymore

Please delete me from your emailing list.

Sarcasm is life!

This time docker got my name right. C'mon Shascha😂😂

Just received a promo newsletter with all addresses in the To: field. Come on guys! It's 20fucking17!

I was making a prank app which turned to my first virus.

One day my mother told me that the programers in her work were offering to her to show them the virus and if their program dont catch it they will give me a reward. It was not catched by the program and i got the reward it was not so big but the feel was awesome

Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other.....
The NSA will finally read it

As a Java developer, reasons to kill other programmers:

- static mutable variables
- WRITING to static mutable variables
- API call with Framework X didn't work. Add Framework Y along with X and try that. Wrap X in try/catch statement. Catch block fires framework Y.
- six, seven, ten levels of nested code. Zero thought put in organization
- 6K LOC Java files
- spring (singleton? Maybe) object assigning values in static mutable (see pt.1)
- a couple of unit tests in code base that no longer work. Zero unit tests in new code
- unit testing disabled in CI pipeline
- empty catch blocks
- pass mutable data between threads. Modify in various places concurrently.

Sometimes when I'm writing Javascript I want to throw up my hands and say "this is bullshit!" but I can never remember what "this" refers to

#oldbutgold

This cracks me up ever time 😂😂

You might have noticed a pattern in my rants

Ain't it so?
Credit: @ItsFOSS on Facebook.

Yo Devs hit me up ;)

"Describe your life in 3 words"

Me:

When ask user to ping ur apps....

how programer relate things

One day, I'm gonna find you and kill you Siri.
:-/

Conversation with my Boss

B: Are u a hacker?
M: No
B: We need a hacker?
M: Why?
B: Because X department wants to do a hackathon.

Come on apple i expected better!!

Trello nailed the changelog with their offline sync update
(Yeah the rewrote the whole song)

I remember reading shampoo directions as a kid and it feeling wrong to exit the cycle.

1. wet hair
2. apply shampoo
3. lather
4. repeat

I didn't choose development life, it chose me

What about that :P

Totally 😂

Best find of the week:
alias nah="git reset --hard;git clean -df"

Sometimes I think back to all the funny shit that happened and how simple stuff fucks everyone

- tired Database engineer deleting (not dropping, literally rm -rf) the database files on the wrong server

- Microsoft delivering viruses through updates

- Pissed and stubborn dev deleting his one line library repo which does something like removing a char left side of string fucking an unmeasurable amount of other projects

- Adobe getting hacked and exposed for storing passwords in plain texts

- a doubled line causing a bug called heartbleed in a fuckton of webservers

- a Tutorial Company getting kicked from github because their repo got so big github staff had to maintain the repo manually

- and an old one: bad code crashed a space shuttle

Mac: Then and now. My first and my second. I prefer the first honestly!