Opened a legacy PHP file from 2008.

No functions.
2,000+ lines.
Inline SQL.
HTML inside echo statements.
A single if (true) wrapping the entire thing like some cursed gift box.

At the top:
// Do not modify. Works perfectly.

At the bottom:
It writes to two databases. Only one exists.

Somewhere in the middle:
It sends an email…
to the client’s ex-wife.

I closed the file.
Rebooted my laptop.
Took a walk.
Still not okay.

Still alive. Wrist’s been hurting lately so I’ve had to stop crocheting 😭

But I got into paint by numbers!

age++

They started measuring deleted and added lines of code as a metric for productivity at my company. I have heard it's been done in other companies among friends... WHO THE FUCK IS PUSHING FOR THIS!?
Like WHY EVEN DO THAT USELESS SHIT???

been working in the same company for 7 years, founder removed all our remote flexibility, told us people who dont come to the office can be replaced with AI, we have no excuse to being late to the office, etc...

feeling violated i began applying to other companies, and im very surprised that after 8 years of development experience, many side projects and curious endeavours later, i keep getting rejected or ghosted... wtf is this job market? i used to get interviews at least in almost any company i applied for before...

how tf do you land a new job these days?

Me and a fellow friend started working as a freelancer.

of 3 projects that we have:

One has a terrible code (like really nasty and over engineered to the maximum). albeit each new feature is a challenge to our sanity... they pay are are somewhat nice.

Another after we did the job they don't want to pay (thankfully we are on a platform that is like the middle man for work, they already have the money so should be "trivial") because they say we did not do what they asked. Brother, the 2 A.M. is not an hour to be called, and we did all the little shitty task they askend AND the original tasks...

And in the last one we hired a team to work with us because we don't have more hours in a day... and they only rename some vars, call it a day, ignoring the task on the sprint and they wanna get paid for the "job"

I just wanna drink a few pints of guinness...

Tomorrow is monday, and it looks like ~4h of meetings everyday...

Israelis just attacked a civilians boat in Malta. Malta is in the UE. This is clearly a cassus belli and we should retaliate against Israel and its support (Germany, the US). Putin isn't the only threat.

Just nuke these fuckers.

Petition to add a “🤡” reaction to LinkedIn.

console.logs in production code is not fucking acceptable.

No no, this is too funny to be downvoted out of "the public eye" I think everybody should see this xD xD xD

(Content Warning tho)
https://devrant.com/rants/14394461/...

Stack Overflow has the best April fools prank!

They are doing an 8+ hour database migration on a business day during business hours!

The prank is the fact that it’s not a joke! They really decided this for some reason!

Psychopaths, psychopaths everywhere.

I've never encountered a programmer with a broken phone screen

me before breakfast

I don't believe what I just saw..

Congratulations to the devrant app developer

I can tell it was written by a decent dev

Where other lazy things like graphical browsers fail when my phone is being throttled via my high speed data running out, somehow this app runs on the equivalent of 90s dial up speeds

Thanks for something to do lol

I work with idiots.

That is all.

Years ago, I joined a company making games for handheld consoles.

Because a game's audio needs to be tested, too, I connected earphones to the console so that:
0. I wouldn't bother others w/ the sounds coming out of the console.
/* !Everyone wants to hear that crap. */
1. I could hear the sounds better.

PM: * Enters the room. *
Me: * Focused on testing the game. *
PM: * Walks up to me from the side, starts talking. *
Me: * Focused on testing the game. *
PM: * After approx. 30 seconds of complete lack of response from me, kind of irritated, knocks on my desk to get my attention. *
Me: * Take out the earphones. *
Oh, hi, how can I help you?
PM: Haven't you heard a word I said?
Me: Well, no. I am testing the game, including the audio.
PM: You need to pay attention to what's going on around you.
Me: Testing audio is one of my responsibilities. I am using earphones because of the reasons [0-1].
PM: Even still, you just need to pay attention to what's going on around you.
PM: * Finally explains the reason for him bothering me, then goes back to his lair. *

Moral of the story: Fuck being good at what you do && knowing your responsibilities.
When PM wants something from you, you better give him the attention he wants.

/* The expectation being I grow an extra pair of eyes && ears, so that I see the guy coming && am prepared to listen to him whenever he wants something _while_ doing the best job I possibly can. */

I've made some dub techno / drone with some free jazz samples:

https://youtube.com/watch/...

…and I think it’s beautiful.

Happy new year.

If I hear ONE MORE time "ChatGPT is like Google but better/smarter" I WILL choke a motherfucker to DEATH

New baby girl 🥰

Worryingly, at 4:04pm.

"2>/dev/null" is the command-line equivalent of "shut up, bitch".

Instead of age++, I now do lifetime--;

I‘ve not seen a single ad spam post today, so far.
Thank you @retoor!

This is getting really confusing now. How many people are left on here who aren't robots?

We need to update the slang "script kiddie" to "prompt enginot" or something.

So my boss's boss or someone even higher up drank the generative AI kool-aid and hired a 40-something kid to generate images for the marketing teams (or something like it).
Naturally, things soon went to shit.
The bloke already left, having staid less than six months on the job.
Guess who got to handle all the shit-is-currently-on-fire the kiddie left behind?

First impression: apparently, muggles tried to slak him some very broad descriptions of what they needed, and at first he actually tried to summarize those bark-speech pseudo-words into an actual prompt.
It does not seem to have gone for too long, though.
After users requested changes to the AI outputs, he would update the prompts, all right. And the process seemed to go fast enough... until reaching near-to-completion status.
Then users would request the tiniest changes to the AI output...
And the bloke couldn't do it.
Seriously. Some things were as simple as "we need this slider to go all the way up to 180% instead of 100%" on a lame dashboard and *kid. could. not. do. it.*.

In many cases he literally just gave up and copied the slak history into the AI prompt. No dice.

Bloke couldn't code a print('hello world') into a jupyter notebook cell, that's what i'm saying.
Apparently, he was "self taught", too. And was hired to "speed up the process of generating visual aids for usage in meetings and presentations". But then "the budget for this position was considered excessive" (meaning: shit results from a raw idea some executive crapped some day) and "the position was expanded to include the development of Business Inteligence Dashboards and Data Apps".

So now it is up to me (and my CRIMINALLY UNDERPAID team) to clean up his mess and maintain/fix/deprecate DOZENS of SHODDILY DESIGNED and MOSTLY USELESS but QUITE ACTIVE "data vis" PIECES OF SHIT.

Fuck "AI prompters", fucking snake oil script kiddies.

Traditional programming means spending *days or even weeks* to write instructions to make the software do what *you* want it to do.

AI modelling means spending *weeks or even months* to tweak instructions just to find that the software does whatever *it* wants to do.