In the last one and a half days I optimized our Angular UnitTests. There‘re written with Karma and Jasmine. Before the optimization they needed ten minutes for around 400 tests. Now the same tests are executed in 12 seconds.

>get hired at new company
>so big nobody knows anybody
>buy ancient company swag on ebay and put it at your desk
>everyone thinks you're a ten year

Here’s a poster with a super short description of each one to help you keep track and find some new useful Linux tools.

Meeting with client.

Me: our solution does not require a central server, any computer (windows, Mac or Linux) on which you install our software can act both as a client and a server

Client: no we need to have all our data on our server

Me: sure, you can install our software on any computer

Client: no, we need it on our server

Me: ok then, we can make the needed changes to install our software on your server, it will cost an additional fee though

Client: very good then

Me: p
Windows Search: Paint
Me: pow
WS: PowerPoint
Me: powers
WS: Powershell
Me (typing too quickly to notice Powershell is already there): powershell
WS: ummm idk

I didn’t want to wait for the adapter to come in…

The man who invented autocorrect should burn in hello

!rant

Bit of a shameless plug but...

I've been making Crypton.sh as my side project for the past couple of months and it's now ready for public consumption. Crypton.sh is a secure and encrypted SMS messaging solution in the cloud, with its original purpose to be a 2FA mobile number that cannot be stolen like a SIM card can be, the idea came about when someone I knew has their SIM card stolen via a SIM card swap scam (https://bbc.co.uk/news/...).

Originally it came about as that idea but grew into something bigger, now everything is encrypted and you can also have conversations with other people, but I'm testing things from time to time and more can follow. Crypton.sh makes sure that you can no longer worry about your SIM card being stolen by malicious hackers, or having a second account on Whatsapp, Telegram, Signal, Google and others.

Have to use Mac for mobile development

Have 16 GB of ram on a MacBook Pro machine from 2013.

It’s been working perfectly fine on the stack I’ve been using (Firefox, vscode, react-native, node, docker, Xcode, Android studio, simulator, chrome canary)

Apple releases new hardware with 32 GB ram and a few months later I see my is slowing down due to low ram, forcing me to close apps

I smell something fishy going on

“If everyone is admin, no one is admin and this is communism” - Our DBA

okay, I promise.

Our team just got the best email from our client hahaha

Google: this sha-1 collision is really gonna fuck up the internet more than anything else today

Cloudflare: hold my beer

CloudBleed

7 am. Dog wants out. I roll out of bed after trying to pretend I am dead.

Walk down the stairs to the side door. Half asleep and notice that the door has daylight shining through on the lock side. Didn't shut it all the way the night before. Walk outside. Dog does his thing. Turn around. Doors locked.

Fuck.

Go for my phone. In the house. Go for my keys. In the house. Fuck. Fuck a duck.

Start checking my windows. One opens a fraction of an inch. Doesn't do me any good. Dog is outside with me. Freezing his ass off. It's like 5 degrees here.

Both of my neighbors don't answer their door. Life flashes before my eyes. Put my dog in my jacket to warm him up. Little 15lb rat terrier. Not made for snow.

He's fine for now. I grab a piece of rebar from my backyard and lever my window a bit more open, busting one of the locks.

And then I yell "ALEXA. OPEN THE FRONT DOOR." The voice of an angel responds. "OK." Whirrr. Click. Door opens. Sweet warmth.

I need a fake rock with a key under it.

Great Sunday.

It's a soap api

Metal sub-genres are really getting out of hand...

!rant

Does anyone of you know LOLCODE?
If not let me present you a simple program that displays the numbers 1-11 and terminates:

HAI 1.2
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
IM IN YR LOOP
UP VAR!!1
VISIBLE VAR
IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10? KTHX
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
KTHXBYE

You gotta love the okay thanks bye as termination :D
Check it out on GitHub

I was in the train this morning....

Landed my first grad role as a software developer!

Node, c#, VB, xamarin, swift!

30k!

Life is good folks

Found this in a 15 year old computer magazine!

FUCK XCODE CERTIFICATES AND PROVISIONING PROFILES

The same goes for clients.

Sometimes the best solution is the simplest
But sometimes it takes 20 hours of debugging to figure that out
😧

Pro Tip: if you're building a developer REST API, don't forget to add a sample response to each endpoint. I don't want to have to test each one when I'm building my integration, I'd rather build my model in one go with the documentation displayed on a second monitor.

I just wanted some water :(

I've just realised that I have a variable called fistTime instead of firstTime all over my code.

My first step to a better 2017:
Learning to use git.

You vs the girl you like

Recursion...

I <3 PHP

there, I said it.