I've always had problems getting it right but it's fun when you find the correct pattern

i often do tech support in chat rooms in my free time (because i like spreading good will,) so here's a tech horror story

"""

"hey, can you help me fix something?"

sure?

"so i dug my old XP machine out of my closet and replaced the bad Ethernet card with a different one and when i plug in the ethernet cable the PC bluescreens."

# oboi

did you install the drivers? Sounds like it needs drivers

"no"

then install them

"no"

why not?

"it doesn't need any"

why do you say that?

"it said \"This device is set up and ready to use.\" in the balloon in the corner"

it has generic drivers to deal with devices before the real drivers can be found

"shouldn't they work?"

some devices need the extra support provided by the intended drivers, so the generic ones cause issues in those cases

"ok, well, where do I find them?"

do you have a model number?

"yes, it's " # scrubbed for... privacy? i dunno

gimme a few minutes

<insert 45 minutes of aggressive Googling for (str(DEVICE_MODEL_NUMBER) + " xp drivers")>

alright i have the drivers, go here:
# again, removed for... idk.

"they don't work"

# oh here we go

why not?

"These drivers are not compatible with your system architecture."

what version of XP are you using?

"XP Pro"

x86 or x64?

"x64"

# fucking...

ok so this is gonna get real complicated real fast: use x86 XP or I can't help you, none exist for x64 XP.

"oh ok"

<User left the IRC channel.>

"""

When you're really stuck on a problem amd rubber duck is of no use..

The supper effective silver terminatior duck with diamond is here to help!!

me: your code base is vulnerable, you are not using prepared statements
him: not an issue, nobody knows
me: ...
me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

First tatto things 😂

It's not a bug, it's a feature

now we know

Source: https://instagram.com/p/...

Aww poor virus😂😂😂

Sad but true

Exploits of a mom (sauce: https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/...)

Bought a Logitech G13 a few years ago knowing that the Linux support isn't good. Thought fuck it, I'll develop something for it.

That didn't go as planned. Tried numerous times to write something but the fucker is proprietary and I couldn't figure out how to get data from it.

Decided to try it again tonight with a "You're not winning this time, motherfucker!" mindset.

Figured out how to read data from it, looked long enough at the data coming in to discover patterns and started programming while testing my ass off.

Two hours later I have "mapped" all specific data points that the device sends to the hardware keys and now, whenever I have the device connected and run the program (node, no kidding), it displays which key I'm pressing when I press a key!

I finally fucking won.

Remember the Ububtu mobile OS ?

I remember working on the community UI drive for this project. To know that something as awesome as ubuntu would come down into the form factor of a phone , was just ecstatic.

The first build was out , people liked it. People nagged a bit about the performance issues , but it was going fine. Then the second build .. then the third no one heard about and the 4th that never came.

The interface for this system was unique because after Wondows , this is the only other OS developer that embraced the one ecosystem mantra of design.

Using Ubuntu phone was natural , it was a small desktop OS.

I remember logging on to launchpad one day and seeing the Ubuntu mobile channel with it's last post " Thank you and goodbye "

It was heartbreaking , but i could understand. Like windows phone ( which if you guys weren't aware of , had APK support by the end of its lifecycle ) felt crushed under the weight of android and iOS.

Waiting for a day when there will be a third champion in game. I miss having to see Ubuntu being on my phone , but they seem to be doing great in everything else , so good on that. 😄

Ok done .. thanks

I have the best sister in the world! Look what she 3D printed for me!

I literally spent 3h looking at all the freaking formulas in my pathtracer which was producing the wierdest psychedelic images for no reasons... And then I finally found this... And I want to kill myself...

Currently i have a small web dev project and i set up a live preview website so he cant see it developing and This literally Just happened

Client : hey, are you currently working on my website?
Me : Yes on my computer and working on it, can i help you with something?
C: yeah just a little bit, that logo on the top left are just a bit squeezed in size and stay like that since 5 days ago and it's bothering me, can you fix it?
Me : nah, its just a simple thing. give me a sec and try reload--
C: why is your voice echoing? Don't tell me you are coding in the bathroom
Me: ummm.. No... I guess...? (I Am)
C: 🤣
Me: sorry 😅

Give me a 10 year old application with no comments, layers of spaghetti code, global variables, embedded SQL, and a text editor with no debugging; just don’t make me write Excel formulas.

Open terminal, do this
telnet mapscii.me

Have fun

Today marks the day that i finally get to do stuff on a production server.
Its just installing the elasticsearch cluster. But i still feel honored by the trust im given even tho im still an apprentice.

The United Nations should make a law or pass a resolution to ensure better coding standards. :)

I swear preparing an app update that's going to be deployed to 500+ people stresses me tf out.

I hope I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Client: This new feature is not working on Internet Explorer.
Me: Do you have enough oxygen in the cave you are living in?

A nice shirt for Halloween

How Wireshark works

Had to post this...

Well for any dev's wanting to see Venom but are seeing meh scores and bad reviews, ignore them because it was fucking brilliant...

Anyone watched 'Jhonny English Strikes Again'? This is the code that drives the exoskeleton... I guess it just needs a random number to work. 😂😂

Yo mama so fat that when she sat on binary tree it became a linked list

A new toy arrived today. Time to go back to soviet russia and have some fun!!

"warranty void if seal is broken"
Me: "seal isn't broken"