Details
-
AboutI'm a product security dev, I gotta inspect shitty code , pen test and then kill QA and decapitate shitty devs .
-
Skillsjs,java,php,sql,c++,c#,security
-
LocationBucharest,Romania
Joined devRant on 11/3/2016
Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Opening a new file for notes and keeping it open without saving. I will just add things to it until it's HUGE. Then i have to go through it...3
-
The worst is not being taken seriously when working on serious tasks...
Sure as an intern I don't get paid a lot, but that system I'm building has to work either way, you better fucking take that seriously....1 -
SQL injection holes everywhere... The original author of the product put concatenated SQL queries throughout the whole application. If it's not the client asked for a penetration test, we as developers wouldn't even be given chance to fix this shit.
I'm actually glad to have the chance. I can't live seeing them every day but force myself to ignore them.8 -
NSA: Hey, its looks like you a bit lonely
Me: Yeah sort of
CIA: (Retrieves list of facebook friends), why not hook up with these people
Me: Not interested
FBI: The girl across your room seems to be interested in you
Me: Nah not interested
CIA: We can send someone to keep you company if you want
Me: thanks, not interested
NSA: A girl winked at you at the cafe yesterday
Me: Didn't notice
CIA: What of the lady you spoke to on the phone earlier
Me: Too old
FBI: Can you please move your webcam to the left a little
Me: Bruuuuuhhhhhh!!!19 -
That moment that you get some kind of pretty critical error/bug/crash in an application in production and you can't reproduce it anymore and you're just sitting there praying that it won't happen again 😥4
-
We're excited to announce the first devRant-sponsored hackathon! It features everything we could have dreamed of in a hackathon: huge prizes ($10k to first place and others), an awesome beer-themed dev competition from lead sponsor Anheuser-Busch, lots of free beer, and an awesome setting at Alley in Chelsea NYC (devRant's hometown, we'll be there!)
It's taking place right here in NYC from March 25-26 and @trogus and I will be there and we really hope we can hang out with members of the devRant community who are participating. devRant is an official partner of the hackathon and we're very excited about the competition itself. There are two challenges teams can pick from: "Internet of Things" (Raspberry Pi’s, Arduinos, etc.) and "Data Insights" - both with the goal of finding creative solutions/innovations to help people drink more beer!
Tim and I look forward to hopefully seeing many of you there. Full details and registration here: https://hacktheworld.beer/NYCHackat...
Please let us know if you have any questions and let's hack some beer!
P.S. the hackathon is 21 years and older only because of the beer theme46 -
Client: There is a high severity production issue.. you need to fix urgently..
Developer: I am on the way.. Will fix it once I reach home.
Client: I don't care where you are. Fix it right now😡😡
Developer14 -
Listening to two girls argue about how thin their eyebrows are is what you deserve for forgetting your headphones at home9
-
My wife is a teacher doing a technology course that includes basic coding for middle schoolers (11-13 year olds). While she admittedly would make a terrible developer, she just spent her own money on 30+ finger puppets so the kids could practice rubber duck debugging. Maybe something did rub off on her!6
-
Fuck the guy that chose the colors for MonoDevelops Solarized Dark Theme!
Guess on which of the two screenshots below I selected some text in the middle of the line and on which one I didn't.
Fucking morons!10 -
"Don't be the smartest person in the room. If you are, you're in the wrong room."
This piece of advice really holds true and continues to push me into fulfilling and challenging positions in my career.6 -
Her: why did you buy a computer that costs 2.5K
Me: Why do you buy multiple pairs of shoes that costs 1K+13 -
Fuck this new fad of forcing you to open a new tab when you click on a link. I already have 40+ tabs do you think I need another fucking tab just for your shitty homepage? If I wanted to do that I would just fucking use command (cntrl) click. Stop forcing me. And fuck google especially for making this a thing with google drive and switching between accounts. I mean why the fuck do I need a tab of just the idiotic sheets homescreen (the one that doesn't even include my sheets)? And if I want to switch accounts why do you open the new account in a new tab? I don't want to have my old account up I wanted to switch that's why it's called switch accounts7
-
If restaurants functioned like Microsoft:
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer;what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[waiter leaves.]
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.009 -
when your script doesnt work like intended.... it only exits with error code 0 and i get a message everything is ok... dam it6
-
Don't you just love that moment when you see shit,
Flying.
In a bow.
Through the air.
And actually just starting, just starting, to hit the fan.
Three days before your deadline.
And it is crystal clear the project is gonna end up as a mess.
Total disaster.
But the best thing of all: it's not your fault.
So, you are actually celebrating the mess to come a little, and know that you can blame the guy who isn't trusting you as a new guy, and show him, with all his more years experience, he is the one who can't be trusted.1 -
EDIT: since this announcement, collabs have been made free to post for all devRant members!
Introducing two big new devRant features!
First, the one @trogus and I are most excited about - Collabs!
Collabs are an easy way to start projects or work on existing projects with the awesome members of the devRant community. You can post a collab listing for the awesome open source project you started that could use some more contributors, that fun idea you have for a brand new project, or really anything you want to gather some fellow devs for. We think it will be a lot of fun.
Collabs also is a devRant first - it's our first paid feature. For each 2 week collab posting, we're charging $14.99. But we wanted to make sure to thank devRant users who have been with us for a while and anyone who contributes often, so anyone with 2,000 points or higher (now or in the future) gets one free collab listing!
The main reason we see collabs as a great first paid feature is because requiring payment or 2,000 points serves to be a slight barrier in posting a collab. We think for collaborations to be successful it's important to have some way to keep out listings where the poster has no intent of following through and we hope this is a good start to doing that.
NOTE: if the collab you are looking to create is devRant-centric (ex. a devRant Chrome extension), we will give you a free credit especially for that so you don't have to pay or use your earned free one. Just contact us (info@devrant.io) if your project falls into that category.
In addition, after tons of demand from the community, you can now change your username and email address! One important note is that you only get to change your username one time every 6 months, so use it cautiously :) You can access this feature in the "more" tab, then settings, then "Edit username or email."
If you have any questions or feedback about any of this, just let us know! We hope everyone enjoys :)52 -
"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"
So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.
First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.
So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.
Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?
I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?
"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"
So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.
More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!
I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.
And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.
"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."
You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!
"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."
I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.
So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.
You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.105 -
Update on the devRantFX:
Github: https://github.com/tahnik/devRantFX
We have made some initial sketch and have been working on it. If you have a better idea, please feel free to let us know :)
Relevant collab: https://devrant.io/collabs/420025/7