Not sure if I visited an ads website or a blog .-.

Always include special characters

So this fucking happened today.

Me: *sees support ticket coming in about some kind of login issue*

Me: *opens issue*

"Hello, I can't seem to login. There's an error"

Me: *sighs and thinks "at least give me that FUCKING error message then." *kindly replies with asking if they could send me the error message*

"Here it is. I don't understand what is going wrong
and what I have to do"

Me: *looks at error message*

"Invalid customer ID. Please make sure that your ID is correct. You can find it in the activation email we sent you when you registered".

😐 😶 😦

Me: *thinking okay what the fuck, are you fucking retarded or something?*

Me: *kindly replies: "It seems that you are not using the correct customer ID. You might want to look for it in the activation email we sent you!"*

"Oh okay thanks, how did you figure that out?"

Me: 😵 😐 😶 😭 🔫

Seriously what the actual fucking fuck.

My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

So, do you sell liquids or gasses? 🤔

Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.

Coworker: "localhost is down"
Me: "See you monday"

Lol.

Never ever lose hope , even if you get rejected multiple times. YOU WILL GET A JOB!!

Boss: “Do you think you can work on Saturday? We really need the help.”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Boss: “Great, thank you.”

Me: “I’ll probably be late, though, as public transport is slow on the weekends.”

Boss: “Okay, when do you think you will be at the office?”

Me: “Monday”.

My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.

So good to see 'devRant' getting attention.

Was listed in
'Best-websites-a-programmer-should-visit'
list which is currently
the Top Trending Repo on Github for this month.

October - Hired

November - Hear that CEO 2 was stealing the company money

December - Dismissing 6 persons. CEO 1 says to me that, since I'm the last hired, I'll be the first dismissed.

March - Company doesn't get better. Dismissing 3 persons... still there.

May - Company doesn't get better. Dismissing 2 persons... still there.

July - Company doesn't get better. Dismissing 9 persons... still there.

Now, with the remaining money the company should live for about 2 years and not dismiss employees anymore.

We were 25 employees, where are 4 now. I feel like the winner of Survivor.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We have new scrum master. First meeting together.

Project owner:
- I would give them time to wensday (2 days away) days to do migration
Manager:
- delivery is in Tuesday. can we have two teams to work on it so it will be done twice as fast?
Scrum Master:
- do you really think that if you get 9 women pregnant they would deliver you baby in a month?

Just had meeting with a potential client.
They wanted to move their existing website from the internet to the cloud 😲. I left so quick I forgot to take my business card back.

I think my automated test texts me more often than my boyfriend does

When ransomeware guys provide better customer support than most companies 😂

Holy shit, this is fucking awesome

That's a great bug

Nobody will get it

Seeing how people dislike idea pitches like "It's like Uber but for ...".
I can't help but imagine how the idea of devRant might have been pitched -
"It's like Twitter but for frustrated developers" 😋

Windows: I'm blue tada di tada da 🎶

Support in the nutshell.

Client: It works, it looks great! Thanks for everything!
Me: What? That isn't the new application, that's your old one. Your new one goes live tonight.

Strange how Buddha accurately predicted the ransomware attacks :/

#wife {
right: 100%;
margin: 0;
}

Suicide hotline for all the jobless depressed developers.

<~<

A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do..

Now where did I put that old web cam...

Typing "How to kill all the children in a block" in Google definitely doesn't bring up results related to programming.