This is me when some software have one month free subscription for new accounts

Yoda speaks like he wasn't careful with his async calls

"a Jedi You are"

Apple rejected my app, because they throught there was a frickin Windows phone on my loading screen.

How insecure can you be?

The aCalendar app let's you choose vibration pattern, it's one of the better settings I've seen.

If programmers were doctors.

Doctor A: the patient is having heart attack
Doctor B: we have to reproduce the heart attack to be able to heal him
Doctor C: why dont we just remove the hesrt and install a new heart
Doctor D: human heart are bad, maybe we should use animal heart

schrodinger's backup

The dev secret...

Me 12 hours ago: looks like a good idea to get emailed if somebody tries to break into my new server.
Me now:

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

very long pause….

“Java.”

I recently interviewed for a job at company where I had 20 minutes to code a solution in python (whose standard library I know nothing about) to a question, which also included googling certain finance-related APIs, with not one but two technical interviewers looking over my shoulder THE ENTIRE TIME.

Programmer boyfriend: *explaining his work and code and how things work*

PBF: does that make sense?

Me: of course

Narrator: it did not make sense

I recently met Mongo and my life has changed forever.

There's not much fighting on devrant since all of us are suffering

I wish homework worked like an ES6 Promise: "A Promise represents a value which may be available now, or in the future, or never."

Host: The 'sessions' folder is too full, we moved the website in a quarantine server.
Me: Well, someone forgot to cleanup sessions when they're done.
Boss: Just delete the folder contents every 3 days!
Me: What.

Programmers as seen by me when I was 10: "OMG, they are scientists, they must rule the world!"

Now: "How the fuck... Whose donkey programmed that shit?!"

One thing I HATE about my job is dealing with customers, unfortunately they seem to be quite a vital part of the business

I'm giving up alcohol for a month.

Wait that came out wrong.

I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month

Cred: instagram

Basically that's me a week to every deadline.

Seriously, why? WHHHYYYY?

US-date-format sucks, every FUCKING TIME!

The only time I really notice is when the "month" is larger than 12:

05/13/2017
"5th of Dec... oh. Fuck. Not this shit again..."

(It makes no sense. Absolutely none.)

I feel like people don't understand what I mean when I say "I'm a console gamer"

Every time I mess up my git branch I usually find that its pretty futile to fix it with fancy commands like 'git reset', 'git prune', 'git rebase', etc. I usually find it easier to just start over from scratch.

They should really add a command for that

'git fuck-it-start-over'

🏎🏎

I frckin HATE people who say 'Ah, you can program now? So can you make a game for me? I even have some ideas!, bla bla blurb...'
It makes me wanna hurt them. And the really, really sad thing about it is: nearly no one understands why.

I have an idea but no time to build it. So I'll throw it out there and see if anyone does it.

How many times have you had an idea that just couldn't get off the ground without a little assistance. Where do you go? How to "pay" them for their work? Etc.

The development community needs a place where you can volunteer to help with side projects and get paid in karma... which you can then later use to "pay" other developers to assist on a side project of your own.

We are already a community that loves to give back, and collecting fake internet points. Why not put those to good use?

You know you're not going to have fun when you get assigned to a project which required to install this software...

Pro Tip: if you're building a developer REST API, don't forget to add a sample response to each endpoint. I don't want to have to test each one when I'm building my integration, I'd rather build my model in one go with the documentation displayed on a second monitor.

I always end up being too busy working on a new features that I forget git commiting every feature so I always end up comitting something like "lots of new stuff idk lol"

When a disc drive's driver comes on a disc

Everytime