*client calls in*

Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: my ip is blocked, could you unblock it for me?
Me: certainly! What's your ip address? Then I'll have a look.
Client: I'm not giving you my ip?! That's too privacy sensitive.
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: 😶
Me: sir, I'm very keen on my privacy myself but without that information I can't do much for you 😬
Client: ah so you're refusing to help me?
Me: not like that, it's just very hard to lift an ip block for me when I don't know the ip address.
Client: you just don't want to help, fine.

*click*

😶

Me using the Siri app on my iPhone:

Me: "Siri, call my wife."
Siri: "Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts."
Me: "Samantha Gibbs is my wife."
Siri: "I've added Samantha Gibbs as your wife."
Me: "Call my wife."
Siri: "Which wife?"

The last one. Beginner starter pack 😂😂😂

This was a few days ago, but Python 3.7 is out!

https://docs.python.org/3/whatsnew/...

Heard y'all like stickers

Made my day 😂😂

Never too much

Oh shit

Ranters this week

Source:- Reddit

Good news: Today my app reached 1 million daily users. 😃😃😃💰

Bad news: It started out as a side project and my shitty code is not scaling well at all. 🙃

LOL difference is clear

It all makes sense now...

I delivered a small C# program long time ago.
Unit tests, integrations tests, functional tests, all passing (users even happy).

Colleague of mine approached me.

C: "I finally fixed the program"
M: "Which program?"
C: "Product X"
M: "What was wrong with it?"
C: "Nothing, but now it runs on Python"
M: "..."
C: "Yeah, we lost a few features, but it's Python!"
M: "Aren't you busy with other things?"
C: "That can wait"
M: "..."
M: "..."

Bought my first two real Servers Today, not the best but I fulfilled a dream I ever had!

My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

I have a casual retail job and I need to sell this... It really hurts me.

500 kbps hotel wifi my ass. I hijacked the smart TV's Ethernet connection and voila: 100mbps

I hate my ISP 😞

2.45 Mbps Download...
82.12 Mbps Upload...
😑 😑 😑

Who is repping devrant in the airport

I code, drink, and from Java (yes it's an actual place). Except my life doesn't run on JVM. Or does it?

suddenly while you introduce yourself to everyone..

How the Fuck do you verify this shit???

Hahaha

1 office. 14 ppl team. 30+ devRant stickers

My 6 year old has been learning about trees at school, and had questions for me. Needless to say, she now has the best understanding of data structures in her class, and I expect parents evening will be "interesting"

Client requests just merge the Facebook, YouTube and SoundCloud.

Slow Internet connection and people who don't follow the Headphones Rules