I'd like to extend my heartfelt fuck-you to the following persons:

- The recruiter who told me that at my age I wouldn't find a job anymore: FUCK YOU, I'll send you my 55 birthday's cake candles, you can put all of them in your ass, with light on.

- The Project Manager that after 5 rounds of interviews and technical tests told me I didn't have enough experience for his project: be fucked in an Agile way by all member of your team, standing up, every morning for 15 minutes, and every 2 weeks by all stakeholders.

- The unemployment officer who advised me to take low level jobs, cut my expenses and salary expectations: you can cut your cock and suck it, so you'll stop telling bullshit to people

- The moron that gave me a monster technical assignment on Big Data, which I delivered, and didn't gave me any feedback: shove all your BIG DATA in your ass and open it to external integrations

- the architect who told me I should open my horizons, because I didn't like React: put a reactive mix in your ass and close it, so your shit will explode in your mouth

- the countless recruiter who used my cv to increase their db, offering fake jobs: print all your db on paper and stuff your ass with that, you'll see how big you will be

To all of them, really really fuck you.

Made a little program to draw svg images on an oscilloscope using XY mode. Heres tux!

>Friday afternoon
>Have to seperate list of json
>Two hours. Can't do it
>Clock off for weekend
>15 minutes later, realise what a complete fuckwit I am

Guess I'mma go fuck myself :)

Finally, the time has come!!!!

"Started playing around with C scripting, can you give me a hand with x?"

"Sure. Errr... this isn't C."

"Yeah it is, like the new C scripting stuff!"

"C scripting stuff?!"

"Yeah, the coffeescript stuff! You developers always shorten it to C right?"

😬😬

Too many such videos out there..
This guy is on point

This made my day!!!!!

Code review titles by year:

1990 - your code is using to much memory
1995 - your code is not running on window 95
2000 - your code is slow
2003 - your code don't have tests
2005 - your code is not 64 bit
2009 - your code is not using mvc patters
2010 - your code is not horizontal scalable
2011 - your code should be written in js
2015 - your code is not mobile ready
2020 - your code is racist

fuck this year seriously

Oh for crying out loud, Github is stopping with the term 'master' due to its 'negative association'.

Can we please not pull everything out of goddamn context and not be a fucking offended special snowflake with ANYTHING that could potentially be thought of in a way that could be associated with slavery?!

If we're gonna do it like this I want to ask people of color not to use white/light themed websites/backgrounds.

Fuck Realtek and their drivers. That's all.

"Stack Overflow Mods are just ❤️"
~ Noone Ever

Soo, how long is "to much time" to think of a commit message?

Programmer move

Webpage: It looks like you are using ad-blocker
Me: It looks like you are getting closed biatch.

Hahahaha

Twitter CEO: I mainly use DuckDuckGo instead of Google.

Me: Just birds supporting each other 🙄

Cheat Engine's installer's EULA:

```
15) You may disassemble and reverse engineer any part of this program, although just looking at the sourcecode is easier
```
appreciate the honesty

I just noticed I'm programing while wearing a black hoodie, using vim.
I hope nobody uses me for making shitty stock-photos.

😂found it somewhere!

You haven't actually *begun* to learn anything until you've shouted FUCK THIS SHIT (or some variation) out loud at least once.

The anger is what makes it stick in your memory.

Interviewer: Do you know about SQL injection?

Student: Yessss

Interviewer: Okay, how we can prevent it?

Student: Yes, we should prevent it as prevention is always better than cure. It can lead to data loss and other problems so it can be difficult to fix it if it happens. The best case is that nothing like that takes place. [...]

Interviewer: I get it but how?

Student: By not building any web applications.

[Silence]

Interviewer: Nice, you may go. Do not call us. We will call you.

To the cunt who named himself "Uncaught ReferenceError: username is not defined":
Sincerely, fuck you.

Debugging

Holy fuck, muscle memory just saved my ass.

At a train station wanting to do some work on my mini laptop which has disk encryption (LUKS I think). Realised that I forgot the password partly 😬

Few tries.... incorrect. FUCK.

*hey, let's try to let my hands do the work based on muscle memory!*

*starts typing the password (its insanely long) and presses enter*

*succesfully unlocked, booting...*

😅

2020 Prediction:
More JavaScript frameworks/Libraries, As always.

Who wrote this fucking algorithm!

Santa is just a glorified sprint master

*Website exists*

Client: “I should be rich by now. Please fix.”

Me: “... Did you do any ... marketing?”

Client: “I don’t have money for marketing. That’s what the website is for.”