GUYS!!! SHE SAID "YES" !!!!

I'M SOOOO HAPPYYYYY!!!

All my dreams are becoming real! I was so nervous to ask, but it was worth it! I waited for the right moment, looked her in her eyes, she looked at mine.. And there I asked it: "are you willing to give it a try and install libreoffice instead of ms office?"

AND SHE SAID: "yes"!!!

Do I have the best wife or what!

When your bugfix destroys everything

Big congrats to @AlexDeLarge for being the first devRant member to hit 50,000 ++!

A pretty awesome accomplishment highlighting great contributions and content.

No wonder our sex lives suck!

Few weeks ago I was having a few beers and messing around with a Minimax AI that could be used for different games as long as you fed it possible moves and win/loose-conditions. Could be used for like Tic Tac Toe on a 5x5 field, connect four etc.

I hadn't got it to work yet as I tried to implement alpha-beta pruning to optimize it. When I was playing against it I thought "Damn you're stupid, why would you even make that move" but still finished the game.

Before I knew it I had fucking lost. It outplayed me like 6 moves before I even knew what was happening.

And that's one of the top coolest feelings I've had as a developer, got destroyed by my own program.

//socially acceptable objectification
//of women
public class Woman : Person
{
}

//I'll see myself out.

So I learned something today. Always disable guest sessions in your Linux machine in a work environment.

Walked away from my pc to talk to a fellow Linux engineer.

Came back to a screen with pornhub and porn playing.

"wait how the hell? I locked my pc...?!?"

"ever heard of guest sessions mate? 😆"

😓

*silently disables guest sessions*

Well okay learned that one the hard way 😅

Another funny Linux encounter from my study that I suddenly remembered.

This guy said he didn't want to work with things/services that use Linux because he wanted to support software devs by buying software. I get the idea but yah...

Linux teacher: well then why don't you start with disconnecting from the WiFi. After that drop services like fb and WhatsApp which you use a lot. Also, good luck in the dev world as you're mooost probably going to encounter Linux and for being able to finish this study you'll need to succeed on Linux classes as well!

He just sat there like 'help'. A lot of fellow students were giggling as well.

Really though, my Linux teacher was an awesome young guy!

Dear clients.

Putting your support subject or content either in uppercase letters or telling US that your matter/ticket has 'the utmost priority' doesn't mean anything to us. You'll just have to keep in line.

WE decide the priorities. Also, calling us when we haven't looked into your very fucking high priority ticket yet for about 5 FUCKING minutes is NOT going to help YOU.

- One of the Linux Support Engineers.

If Programming Languages Were Girls:

Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.

Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.

Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.

JavaScript: A childhood friend you occasionally hook up with. But you could never settle for a relationship with them.

Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
-----------------------------------------------------
My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).

When you find a bug in your code...😭

When I still used swing to programm some games, I met a friend and I told him stupid because he was using linux instead of just windows, just because I didnt knew what linux actually is. He then showed me some features of linux and I said, that I'll never switch to linux because I like Win 10. After that he showed me Discord as well as telegram. And again i told him I'll never use it because I got teamspeak and whatsapp. About 1 week later I only use Discord, have a linux OS installed and using telegram (but still whatsapp).

Thanks for opening my eyes ;)

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 I GOT MY DEGREE IN THE MAIL TODAY🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

First new job impression;
Me: you use Ubuntu as well? Nearly everyone does Linux here I see!
Co-worker: yup!
Me: So no windows?
CW: nahh, we want stuff that's fixable if it gets fucked. *mentions some things about windows*
Other co-worker: (obviously referring to windows) hey no swearing in here!

😄😅😆

I like it there!

Going for a Unity game dev course that might have some VR stuff in it and I'm exited as hell about it.

There's always a but. I wasted nearly a year on a college that taught me very little.

Don't know what else to say.

I heard you guys like rubber ducks. Here is a Tomato Duck.

First day at new job, let's go and see how this is going to go! I'll finally be able to call myself a professional linuxer 🙌😄

Thanks to all the devs here for the kind words and ++'s (^-^)

Bought new headphones because my current ones' input fucked up again. Already ordered a new one for free but hours of traveling today without music isn't really an option for me.

New headphones don't work on devices without usb ports! 😭.

Went back to the store because I didn't know that and thought they were just failing and got it explained there. No money back because they were working fine.

Me: "well fuck me right now, then I'll just travel without music today :'(".
Guy: *grabs something from a closet thingy* "Here you go, a pair of earphones!"
Me: "Awesome! How much?"
Guy: "Enjoy your traveling man!".

😮

Thanks a thousand times to that guy!

Why did the integer drown?

Because it wouldn't float.

@BlueNutterfly thanks for all the love! ❤️😘

So I've got a Linux related job (or, starting at monday). When people ask me what my new position is called, I'll of course tell! Well, I stutter sometimes in my native language. Especially with the letter L.

"so what's your new position?"
"Lllllll-lllll-llllllllllllllllllll"
*mother of god*
"lllllllllllllllllllllll-llllllllllllll*
*OH FFS*
"Llllllllllll-llllllllllllllllllll-lllllllinux support engineer!"
*FUCKING FINALLY!*

"Hey man, you got a new job I heard, what's your new position?"
*please work*
"Lllllllllll-lllllllllllllllll-llllllllllllllllllllll*
*MOTHERFUCKER*
"Lllllllll-lllllllllllllllllllinux support engineer!"

"ey dude, what's your new position? Heard you got a new job!"
*alright let's do this better*
"gonna do stuff with servers and customer service!"
"Ah cool! What system do they run on their servers?"

No. 😡

Someone on the IP 127.0.0.1 has been creating a lot of bugs in my code, please beware of you notice any connections from that address.

Apple iPhone X - Just a small troll
http://commitstrip.com/en/2017/...

After being a lurker for over half a year, I've finally decided to join devRant. My biggest hang up was picking an username but I finally decided to just go for it.

The most under-stated job description

I really need to get my lazy ass up and get the fuck to work on the privacy site.

Yeah let's fucking do that. I've got a nice special beer as motivation as well!

I somehow want to make an ai that analyses porn videos and learns to distinguish the parts when he cums on her face. I would call it facial recognition.

Sorry.

Will they be taking our jobs now? 😂😂

I PASSED MY ITIL EXAM!!! I'M NOW CERTIFIED TO DO MY JOB!!! 😂😂😂😂😂