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Skillsc++, c#, c, python, java, html, xml, php, css, JavaScript
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LocationNew Hampshire, USA
Joined devRant on 3/6/2018
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Chinese streamers stream on the street under the bridge. The reason? They stream near a rich neighbourhood, so the algorithm recommends them to rich tenants. They donate more.11
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November 2022
*Wife*: What do you want for x-mas? A new phone maybe? Yours has lived through a lot already - perhaps it's time for an upgrade?
*I*: Naah, thanks. My trusty S7 still works incredibly well. I also have all those 2FAs set up there and stuff I'm too lazy to transfer over to a new device.
*Parents*: What do you want for–//–
*I*: Naah, thanks. My tr–//–
*in-laws*: What do you want for–//–
*I*: Naah, thanks. My tr–//–
*Siblings*: What do you want for–//–
*I*: Naah, thanks. My tr–//–
January 2023:
*My phone*:5 -
Data scientist: we need to whitelist a pod to connect to a database
Me: Whitelist? We don't use whitelists on private databases
DS: It's the new data warehouse database
Me: is it on <X> VPC?
DS: I'm not sure what that means but its ip is <real world ipv4>
Me: Are you hosting a publicly accessible database with all our end users information?!
DS: ...
Me: There goes our SOC2 audit controls...
DS: how long until you can white list it?
Me: I won't be whitelisting it. You need to put it on a private VPC and peer with the cluster, you'll have to rebuild all the Terraform and redeploy
DS: We didn't use Terraform because it takes too long, just white list the pods IP.
Me: No. I'm contacting the CISO and CTO...21 -
> Manager gives me new ticket.
> This seems like a ticket Dingus would do.
> Remember Dingus got fired a month ago.
> Realize I’m the new Dingus.4 -
It is amazing how "we should be working on X instead of Y" can mutate into a situation where "we are working on X as well as Y"2
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To the coworkers who won't read this -- If you have a question to message me, type the QUESTION ITSELF. Don't coyly request permission to ask me a question because you're worried you'll bother me, that just turns it into TWO questions. Let us put an end to saying 'hey, can I ask you a question' and then virtually walking away.10
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Still in “negotiations” to get paid for work I already delivered under a presumption of trust based on a track record of getting paid in the past. My bad for taking them at their word. Now it’s time for them to…3
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A while back I took over responsibility for getting one of our developers up to speed, after the other guy basically gave up on him.
Management insisted that this new recruit was our guy. I was kind of going along, since I had been there during the recruits first meeting with us, and he seemed to know his stuff.
I was very wrong. He was suppose to have been working with kubernetes, but suddenly did not know what a container was. After explaining it to him, he said along the lines of “yeah, sure, I was only testing you, I know all about this”.
He did the same thing for a number of other technologies. Always said that he knew very well what it was, and that I did not need to teach him those things.
Yet, he always seemed to get stuck with basic stuff, like installing node, setting up env-vars, starting docker-containers locally and that sort of things.
I mean, it is perfectly fine to say that you don’t know. I even consider it a great answer; it shows honesty and makes me trust you more. But with this guy, it was just impossible to get him up and running, since he always “knew”, but yet always needed help.
We had to let him go. Since I had been the one who had spent most time with him, it was natural that I was to be the one to tell him. I was not looking forward to it, I’m not reallly a persons-guy. Still, I was calm and honest with him and basically told him that I had found it impossible to work with him, kind of harshly.
He then asked me if he could put me on as a reference for his future job-applications. I told him politely that I did not think that was a great idea. He asked why, I told him I would be unable to say anything that would benefit him. He then asked me to lie.
I didn’t know what to say, except for “no!”. Never saw him again after that.3 -
developer: hey, want to hear a joke?
manager: sure
dev: what did the developer say to their manager after doing flaming shots in the server room and accidentally setting fire to all their systems?
manager: i don't know, what did they say?
dev: "hey, want to hear a joke?"3 -
I had a prospective employer be late to every single interview we had scheduled. I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, but they simply didn’t value my time.
I was in the process of moving and a recruiter called me to tell me a job I had been submitted for wanted to do a phone interview that day. Even though I was driving across the country in a box truck, I agreed to the interview. We arranged for the employer to call me at 2 PM. I figured it would give me a break from driving in the middle of the day anyway.
I pulled over at 1:45 and waited. At 2:15 I called the recruiter to verify the time. He said he would get in contact with the employer and call me back. At 2:45 I called the recruiter and told him I needed to get back on the road and we’d have to reschedule.
We rescheduled the call for a few days later at 1 pm. This time I got the phone number of the employer, so at 1:15 I called him. He apologized and said he lost track of time. Whatever, let’s just get this interview going.
He liked me on the phone, so he wanted to meet in person the next day. I was a bit irritated by the situation, but I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.
I showed up for my in person interview 15 minutes early and checked in with the receptionist. 30 minutes later I asked the receptionist when they were going to be with me as my interview was supposed to start 15 minutes ago. I was finally seen 5 minutes after that.
The interview was supposed to be a several hour affair where they were going to have me sign an NDA and show me some of the issues they were having to see if I could solve them. I had cleared my scheduled meetings for the afternoon so I could attend this lengthy interview.
After about 45 minutes of interviewing, the manager suddenly said that they needed to cut the interview short because he had just realized they needed to get something done that afternoon. He asked me if I would come back the next day to finish the interview.
I shook his hand and left, shaking my head the entire time. When I called my recruiter after I had calmed down, I let him know that I would under no terms be interested in a job with them. If they refused to acknowledge my time was worth something as a candidate, they would never respect it as an employee.
They still offered me the job and couldn’t fathom why I was upset about the situation. I’m very glad I didn’t take that job.4 -
18000 duplicate lines that were manually copy pasted by the previous programmer.
I replaced them with a for loop.
I don’t think it was that hard…11 -
I had an old rant somewhere about the most unproductive meeting I’ve had.
It was when I joined a new team. I was asked to hold a meeting to solve the issue of why nothing gets done on time and nobody showed up to the meeting on time including the manager.1 -
I did get a raise but we also hired like 5 new people... But I still do the same amount of work... Which was already too much...11
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There is a russian cartoon called Fixiks (“Фиксики”, tiny fixers) which is about tiny creatures that live inside tech and fix it when it breaks without the owner knowing. This is a fun, family-friendly cartoon rated 3+ filled with approachable explanations of how does common tech stuff around us work: TVs, washing machines, etc.
However, there is one weird, super grim episode about one such creature who forgot to leave a TV he was living inside that is being thrown away and ending up on the scrapyard.
Having no choice but to follow his purpose, he becomes obsessive trying to fix an endless amount of broken tech there, with new broken stuff being delivered to that scrapyard every moment. After a while, he completely loses his sanity.
That episode displays what seems like a weird mix of schizophrenia and OCD. Having a psychological trauma he fails to recognize the rescue team of his own kind, attacking them. He loses his ability to talk, resorting to random screams of aggression.
This episode doesn’t really feature even a single explanation of how something works. It just is there somehow among the episodes of a casual, happy cartoon for children.
Needless to say, this is my favorite episode.12 -
The saga of requirements changed after the feature is done continues:
Manager: “I have reopened your ticket cause it doesn’t fit the requirements”
*checks for requirements changes*
“Updated 2 mins ago”
You fucking piece of10 -
Manager: What the heck are you guys doing? Pair programming?! That would halve the team productivity!!!
We:
Manager: Alright, Let's do a "quick" four hours meeting. Everyone in the company MUST attend!
We:3 -
Today was the first time I told a rude interviewer off. Feels pretty good. Fuckwad kept cutting me off with “Shut up and just answer my question”. Nope. Not taking that shit my good sir.17
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"years of experience" basically means nothing, both for people and organisations. You can work with someone who has 30 years experience who knows nothing, and someone with 1-2 years who's practically an expert.
Joined a large multi-national fresh out of college, that had been around for +90 years. I expected them to know software development inside and out. Didn't expect to see so many failed projects for stupid reasons, so many over sights, so many .... morons, to be honest.
Worked for a startup company where most only had 1 or 2 years more experience than me and learned so much.
Worked for a small company where everyone had 1.5 - 2 times my experience, where I learned the meaning of "bewilderment".
Never feel small, or less valuable because of a number. Theres a good chance you are working with jackasses - practiseSafeHex7 -
In my opinion, business as usual.
1. Work from home if possible. Cars fuck up the environment and no one likes traffic jams, use transportation sparingly. Pandemic or not.
2. I never want to shake the filthy sweaty hands of untrusted peasants, I don't care if you're a CEO representing our biggest client. An acknowledging nod is sufficient.
3. Why the FUCK do I feel sneeze droplets raining down the escalator? I don't care WHAT you're infected with, just sneeze in your elbow. No, don't sneeze in your hand either you dimwitted mongrel, because too many people insist on ignoring rule 2.
4. The news just taught you how to wash your hands? You mean, you didn't learn that in elementary school?
5. Pandemic or not, if you're sick, fucking stay at home. Why do people suddenly need a "policy" for this? Wasn't this always the common sense rule? Employers who don't send sick workers home actively sabotage their own business, even when it's "just a mild flu".
6. Keep some distance from me in public whenever possible. Again, pandemic or not... It's called personal space.
7. I understand that wearing mouth masks is not culturally integrated in the west like it is in Japan, but maybe it should be. Not for egocentric self preservation when you're healthy, but out of politeness to the public when you're sick. They actually work much better for that purpose, and it decreases the chance I will break your neck when you violate point 3.
I'm not a total germaphobe. I'll gladly engage in a filthy orgy with a dozen friends... As long as they've showered, aren't coughing, and don't have snot running down their chins.
The general hygiene level of the population is so fucking awful.
Pandemic, or not, it doesn't matter.27 -
Oh, it's been awful. A mandated email about washing hands. A slurry of awful jokes every time someone sneezes. Send help.8
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Meeting with American customers in Germany. One of them fetched a bottle of water with crown cap, but the opener was missing. She asked whether someone had an opener, so I got out a lighter and opened the bottle. Surprised looks.
My (Indian) PM: "That's a German thing, opening bottles with everything except bottle openers. Even with other bottles."
Customers were like, WTF?!13 -
Downside to being a computing student:
I need my PC to study, but all my distractions are on my PC so it's really hard not to get distracted while studying.6 -
Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.53