Give that man some HUGE FUCKING COOKIES!

This, fucking, designer. He has no fucking clue what he's doing. Every minor fucking thing has to be a new fucking screen.

Toast notification? Snackbar? At least dialog? NOPE, WE NEED A NEW SCREEN.

Lead fucking designer my ass. Wasting everyone's time flapping your dick around.

Got a mail from a recruiter.... offering me a role in a company......where I'm currently working....in the said role.

coding elves...

I edit text files for a living

The end is here, someone pulled the Internet plug!!!!!

Fuck, stackoverflow is affected, my dev days are over!

Global 503 Whooooo

Good Job Fastly, making me work after hours.

https://status.fastly.com/

I prefer the best ones. The worst ones usually aren't very good.

I started with a free trial of neobook (anyone remember that?), and then moved on to MS SmallBasic. At some point I had discovered Roblox and was stuck with that and lua for a few years. Eventually I started learning C# from a course, but never really used it much so I kinda forgot it.

School got a lot more busy for me and so I wasn't really able to do much programming for a few years, and even when I did, it was mostly bash and docker stuff. Then in the beginning of last year, I was able to start learning Go, which is now my current language of choice.

I once worked until 8am to get a demo ready for a client of the client. I knew the client was a bit thick, so I made some comprehensive video demos and sent them over to him, to save him trying to demo it himself. I wake up at 11am with him screaming down the phone at me:

“It doesn’t work, none of it works!”

“What do you mean?”

“I go to login and I can’t enter anything.”

“I haven’t sent you anything to log into...wait, are you trying to log into a video? Tell me you’re not trying to log into a video of a login page.”

“Uh...oh hang on, it just worked. Ok no pr-“

“No wait, what do you mean it worked?”

“I logged in fine.”

“It’s a video. You can’t log into a video.”

“Uh...alright, bye mate, thanks!”

The moral of the story is: never assume any level of intelligence on the part of a client, even if they exhibit signs of it at first. If they are paying you they will forget how to tie their own shoelaces.

Interviewing intern today:

"What text editor do you use?"
"Notepadd, Word, I'm okay with anything."
"Like, Notepad++?"
"Eh... Notepad, I don't know about the ++."

My dear designer friend.
I do not appreciate you juggling colors on the website that we're supposed to finish in a week. Please stop that. Your mockup was titled "FINAL" three weeks ago. It's not just replacing variables in files, but also shit like recoloring image backgrounds and svgs, and GUESS WHO HAS TO DO IT BECAUSE YOU'RE ILLITERATE WHEN IT COMES TO WEB OPTIMIZATION.
And if you do change shit please, please just ping me about it and not expect me to be a psychic that I need to download new sketch file.
Always yours.

"We only sell the top spots of our result... not the order of our results!!!!"

Don't burn out your self guys, if your burnout take a leave if possible if it's too stressful consider a job switch, money is great but life should also be enjoyed, you can't enjoy your money when your old and having medical problems.

Note: image is from a show I watched on netflix (uncanny counter)

I have some good, no, great news I forgot to share yesterday:

Drum roll 🥁🥁🥁🥁

I just got my first job as an intern!!!

I'll be developing their product from scratch along with a few other devs, it's gonna be awesome. My primary occupation will be as a backend dev, but I'm also gonna help a bit on the frontend.

They also said they won't micro manage me, they just want me to deliver their tasks, so I can work whenever I want and not necessarily 6 hours a day. I'm a bit skeptical here because that sounds like they're gonna overwork me, but they also said they don't want to get in the way of my studies in college, so idk. It seems like a really nice place.

It's going to be remote work and the pay is also very good for an internship.

All of it seems way too good to be true, there has to be a catch... I'll find out in time, just let me be happy for getting my first actual job ever ok? Just for a few days.

Anyways, I'm just so fucking happy with this and wanted to share it with ya :)

I never did.

Accidentally mistyped Bug Fixes as Big Fixes and people think there was something very wrong with the application all this while.

Well it's not exactly a startup idea but something that I and my team built during my first-ever hackathon.
The theme was to build some tools for developers to improve their speed and be more productive.
In our team we were some bunch of students who just knew how to build a basic front end and a little bit of backend and we came up with an application that lets developer query any command line shortcut through his voice and the website will return the keyboard shortcut for that. For example the developer can ask what is the shortcut for splitting the view into two halves in vs code and the website will look it up in database and give back the shortcut
Now when I look back it feels so funny. I still remember that the judges gave us a funny look but they appreciated our efforts as we were too young to be there.. lol
btw If anyone is curious about the project it is present here ..
https://github.com/LaurenAssistant/...

Programming tutorials on pornhub

Something that I'm utterly ashamed of.

Had to add text message and call communication functionality in one of the products.

Boss shrunk the deadline to two days ETA.

Didn't know jackshit about twilio.

Meeting with client:

Client - So the communication thing is done right?
Me - Yyeahhh
Client - Let's try it then. *Calls himself*
Me - *Calls the API directly from my phone*

Client got out happy. Nobody knows what actually happened there. I didn't even talk to my colleagues about this. Boss gave me bonus to pull of the impossible. I added the feature after a week of the incident.

I don't know how some of y'all can code like 14 hours a day that shit is crazy

My parents don't charge me for rent and I also eat their food.

My new clothes washer has an app.

Neat!

The app requires location information or it won't start...

Fuck LG.

Me: We need to move to Vue
My Friend: Why?
Me: Because it's One Piece!!!!

Trying installing Xcode, got stuck at 2.83gb 🥺

This should not be called wisdom teeth, should be called stupid teeth
Mother fucker is growing perpendicular.

What fuck is wrong with you bro , grow upwards you dumb fuck!!

I was assigned a task to troubleshoot some buggy code. I am a developer and I don’t know how to get started. Does anyone else experience this kind of anxiety? Where you’re asked to apply your skills and suddenly your brain just shuts down and you feel like you know exactly nothing? I’m older than most coders in my field. Onset of some kind of brain disorder?

software engineers be like “i don’t read books” then proceed to read api documentation for 4 hours straight

A certain team member left the team

Added some features to an internal app used by finance. Tester found some bugs, but most of them were due to old code. Tried fixing them, found some more serious bugs that could have a large economic impact. Rewrote the service, squashed all the bugs we found and reduced code by roughly 50%. Felt good.

"A Google security researcher withdrew from the Black Hat security conference and asked the community to stop using the 'black hat' term."

What the heck? Are we just going to ban the colors white and black in every context? Its clearly not talking about race, its talking about morals... Which people like this "google security researcher" obviously know nothing about...

This is all so stupid... luckily the community disagrees with the stance but then again, afaik, we all also disagreed with removing master/slave and it still happened so make of that what you will...

https://zdnet.com/article/...