Dev: You’ll want to store money values such as $2001.01 as 200121 when using javascript.

Manager: Why? That’s stupid.

Dev: Javascript doesn’t behave with decimals the way you think. It’ll show up as $2001.01000001 when you least expect it

Manager: Well I’ve never had that issue before! Besides that’s only a fraction of a cent off, that won’t even matter!

Dev: … literally the plot of office space but ok

I got the offer!!!!!!

It has to be done.

"Come on, please try a bit harder. Why don't the IT students make an app to sell local goods online or something? Even I, without knowing anything about tech, consider this to be easy".

Wise words from a non tech substitute teacher I once had the honor of studying under. When he checked everyone's 1 month project proposals, he expressed his disappointment.

I wonder if he works in management now.

Freaking neat FTP Frontend:
https://github.com/filebrowser/...

Remember to always call function !

Manager: Does anybody having any money saving ideas?

Dev: By switching our supplier from X to Y we could save $10,000/year and they have much better customer service.

Manager: So? I’m looking more for savings opportunities in the +$100k range. That’s a small idea, I’m looking for *BIG* ideas.

Dev: Do you have any big ideas?

Manager: No, but I really really want to save big money like that. I thought you would have something worthwhile.

Dev: $10,000 still a lot of money

Manager: I guess…. Ok we can do it. But don’t bother me with peanuts like this again.

Dev: ??? You asked me buddy

Buying crypto just feels like gambling... The only thing I'm doing is looking at the charts and deciding whether it prolly go up or down... Hit a peak....

Cheese

Every Programmer's Patience ever

!rant

Yes! finally 4588 people got fed. I am targeting 10k of people. Get free food from my food bank. Previously people dont know where to get it , now they know it from my platform.

It is so satisfying to see people help the needy get food and groceries.

All of us can do this, as Malaysian government fuck themselves, the rest of us citizens can help each other...

Those unit tests can be commented out, they’re failing right now.

Job posts that look for experience in everything! Experience in large scale enterprise kubernetes bullshit! What the fuck is kubernetes, a Greek god?? 4 plus years experience in aws! 5 years experience in cloud infrastructure scaling! 5 years experience in working with stakeholders and collaborating UX design! 5 years experience in React Native! 5 years experience in noSQL! 5 years experience in firebase! 5 years experience in graphics design! 5 years experience in node CSS! And every javascript known to mankind! I would love to meet this legendary developer that every company seems to want! Sick of these ads that ask for god level experience in every development role or tech. It’s like they’re hiring one developer to write their entire system from scratch which would obviously require godly expertise in front back and every fucking end there is to fucking build

Colleagues sharing passwords.That was a big fat NO when I was a sysadmin - and for a good reason. But now, since I'm closer to development, it feels like no one really cares about the passwords. If I tell my colleague I'll take 10 minutes more because I can't log in, he OFFERS me his credentials. And sends them over saying "in case you need it". [the next day the same colleague was complaining his account is locked out. Oh, wonders! How on Earth...!]

But seriously, password sharing is a serious problem. I would fire the person on spot if I caught him sharing his credentials! This is the 8th deadly sin! IDC if they are for non-prod. Most people reuse their passwords in multiple systems, and even non-prod envs can bring the prod down! Or worse - install a trojan.

Not really a bug so much as ridiculously poor practice, about 15 years ago I was working for a car park company on their booking engine. In the sql server dB, there was a table called CreditCard, easy to guess what was in there!

I lost my sanity and googled ”FUCK YOU XCODE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT”...

That's how I found devRant.

Just found out you can subscribe to yourself.

Me: *works on some documentation*
Guy: "Why does it randomly say CUT DOWN LIKE LAMBS AT SLAUGHTER?"
Me: "Buggers I've been typesinging again D:"

Found this somewhere and started crying

Accurate 😆

Finally, the time has come!!!!

Apple’s events in a nutshell:

“REALLY BIG CHANGES”
“WHOLE NEW LEVEL”

You know it's bad when Github finds it necessary to tell you your code is trash

!rant
just wanted to share with you guys,
instead of spending 1hr writing shitty code to fix a bug quickly, i just spent tha last 10 fucking hours and finally fixed it

I'M FUCKING PROUD OF MY CODE, IT BELONGS TO A MUSEUM

super fast "hello world".

Step #1) Teach Alexa to respond to "When is Memorial day" with an incorrect date in the future

Step #2) Ask Alexa, next to your wife.

Step #3) See how long you can keep your wife going on "the government moved Memorial Day due to Coronavirus" before she realizes your just a prankster.

Not sure what I should put this under but I just had an app idea. I've tried journaling but can never keep going for more than a few days but if I have like a conversation with someone one like "how was your day?" or I start an internal dialogue, I can go on for a while and just feels natural.

So I'm thinking what would be good is if I had a virtual chat buddy/psych like a continuous QA but but also smarter then cyberduck and can save the whole chat. So it basically is/can become a journal or even a blog post.

Wondering if there's something like that already or some chatbot could help?

Think I heard something before that Facebook may have one but I think it's a huge ML program that needs to be trained on a lot of data.

Any your thoughts on this idea?

Don't tell anybody but I basically spent 8 hours today trying to write one email.

devRant, you've missed the opportunity to swap desk ducks for little humans. Still awesome idea though.

Me: "do you know about .exe files?"
Girlfriend: "yeah, like '.exe stopped working'"

*Windows exe immediately associated with bugs by common user*