It's obvious that a lot of product managers need to take basic stats classes. Your metrics are pointless and lack direction. 🖕

First we were called "rockstar" developers.

Then HR started using "heroes".

Then "tigers" and some confused associates who didn't get the memo used various other big cats.

Now they're starting to call us "product warriors".

🤦‍♂️

Love you too Lua

What's a bigger sin.

Returning a status code of 200 and then the message body saying "An Error Occurred"

or

Only performing data validation on the frontend.

ALRIGHT

WHAT FUCKING DUMBASS AT APPLE DECIDED THAT YOUR AIRPODS SHOULD PAIR WITH YOUR

CLOSED

FUCKING

MACBOOK

INSTEAD OF YOUR ACTIVELY SEARCHING IPHONE

PRODUCT MANAGERS ARE SHIT

DEVELOPERS ARE SHIT

THE WORST IS KNOWING THEY ALL EARN EASILY 6 FIGURES

AND ARE ABSOLUTE GARBAGE AT EVERYTHING

Thinking of starting an OnlyFans where I post all the atrocious shitcode that I find to make my fans miserable….

Given a couple of lines of code, I can predict with an 80% accuracy which of my team mates wrote it.

Whatsapp, Instagram, and Facebook down.

It's happening finally.

Almost three years with the same salary. And my LinkedIn inbox full.

I'm really starting to think about going for a change...

Fuck you and your shitty updates Microsoft.

I never asked for a fucking weather app on my taskbar.

Why the actual fuck would I EVER need that shit? I have that on my phone already, same for my news, and literally everything else you try to molest me with.

Want to know why Linux is growing market share? It's because it's an OS first and not some husk that shoves content at you and screams "CONSUME ME!"

FUCK YOUR SHITTY UPDATES, AND FUCK YOUR PLATFORM OF PETTY METRIC BULLSHIT.

HR Bull crap

The answer they deserve

I am fed up working with unskilled software developers. Or to be more specific, working with people who have no idea of sofware architecture.

Most people I've worked with have simply no idea what they are doing in the broad picture, they can only follow patterns they see and implement their feature in the same way. They can't think about the abstract concepts which should be the foundation of the project.

They fail to write unit tests which are maintainable. They write one fucking test per method which is testing 50 things at the same time, making it often impossible to understand what is being tested.

They think putting stuff in private methods makes their class better and is some kind of separation of concerns.

They write classes and afterwards create interfaces for these classes named {Class}Interface, shoving all the methods into that interface. They think it's good design to do so.

They are unable to think about the reasons why things are done the way they are done and that you don't do stuff for the sake of doing stuff, but to achieve certain goals like interchangeability.

They don't undestand how to separate business logic from the application code.

They have no sense for naming things beautifully. They don't see how naming things is a major part of good software architecture.

They get layer concepts wrong and then create godlike {EntityName}Service classes, which do everything related to a particular entity.

They fail to shape the boundaries within a software project, entangling stuff which should live in individual modules.

All I want is to work in a team with professionals.

CEO "If you make costs to build a home office for covid, please be aware that you can fully declare your bills, and you'll retain ownership over the ordered goods. Please all buy some good desk chairs and keyboards, so you can work ergonomically"

6 months later, CFO: "Bittersweet, why did you try to declare €35000? What are these invoices even? Concrete rebar?"

Me: "CEO told us to build a home office. I got permits from the town to dig a souterrain layer under my house. This is just for the foundation, the bills for drainage pumps, sheetpiling, geothermal heat exchangers, insulation, flooring, electricity and of course desk & chair will follow later"

CFO: 😳

(To be fair, I really did make those costs, but was just trolling by uploading all the material bills)

My roommate is a damn wannabe programmer: he keeps talking about how much he’s passionate into technology, buying hardware, spending hours into arranging his workstation to be as “cool looking” as possible, talking about future big projects, he even wants the fucking Java and Arduino logos embroidered in his backpack the only issues are that I’ve never seen him spending time in a project which going beyond literal hello world and if I offer him help to help and improve (I’m an employed programmer) he refuses because he’s tired/lacks time (but always make it for Netflix). I’d be still ok with that because I believe in living and letting live but now every time he starts to bore me with his lengthy stories about projects he’ll never do I imagine him with a big clown nose 🤡

🐱🖥️
I was thinking about my next cat, and thought how I would name it, as I like original names.
So I thought maybe, now I'm a developer (my cat is 10 years old, back then I was in primary school), I could name it after some technology I like but can't understand (like cats)... How many cats are called C#?

So, how would you name a cat based on some technology that would fit as a cat name for you?

Dear Microsoft,

Thanks for not completely fucking up Github. At least you didn't integrate Office365, allow only Azure deployments, or force downloading repos through OneDrive or something.

But like most developers, I don't deal well with changes to familiar interfaces.

So please.... STOP FUCKING TWEAKING THE BUTTON PLACEMENTS AND TEXTS ALL OVER THE WEBSITE.

(or at least send me a bottle of cognac and a box of chocolates before every UI experiment, so I can deal with it emotionally. I'm a very sensitive boy, you know).

Becoming independently wealthy and telling my employer I no longer require their services.

So linux is doge coin

Cool, I found a bug in Ruby!
And it’s preventing my debugging from working!
Asjfkladfsj

It’s 2:30am and I want to finish this crap.

No, I’m not doing any work tomorrow. I’m taking the day off to sleep.

Running Microsoft Visual studio and Android studio IDE simultaneously on an 8gb ram PC. It was an annoying experience until i "accidentally" clicked on Chrome... and my sorrows ended! Phewww.
Thank you Chrome.

Usually I play some focus music, say "let's do this!" to my devduck (Dave), and start working on stuff. Oh, and lots of coffee.

Welcome to the future guys.

⬜️Finish my indie Game
⬜️Publish my Indie Game.
⬜️Make my wife pregnant.
⬜️Clean codebase current C++ job
⬜️Learn Piano play
⬜️Create clean coding presentation
⬜️Be more productive

I mean, that’s normal right ?

Companies: We can’t find any senior developers to hire.

Also companies: We pay seniors like juniors.

Thought Spotify had a bug for a moment.. Then i remembered how lame I am. -.-'

COO in my company looks like Gus Fring.

A friend of mine invited me to a project he was given. So basically is a flutter project already started by a guy on Fiverr... I'm just mad at the code the guy wrote! Now we have to refactor the ENTIRE code because the guy didn't know what he was doing!!!

This is my 1st rant, if i did something wrong, please rant at the comment section

When you have to beg your team for approval on your pull request.