So apparently I own land in dubai. Like three separate mortgages based on the email I received.

Your request (Mortgage Registration)
with request number xxxxx / 2024
has been completed
and you can print your issued certificate from this [link]

I've stripped out the numbers and link.
After confirming it was safe I followed through on a old spare cellphone, and yep, I own three mortgages for properties in dubai.

Except obviously I don't.
Someone used my name, an american, to register mortgages in dubai. *Nice* properties according to the pictures.

What started out as a scam email, or what looked like a scam email, went to an actual government of dubai website, with real mortgage registrations.

How in the fuck does that happen?

The only thing I can think of is someone committed identity fraud, and/or an alphabet agency went through the list of known political dissidents, set up a bullshit mortgage in a questionable territory, and are now using that as a pretext to monitor 'extremists with foreign ties.'

All that for some guy on the west coast that hasn't attended a political rally in his entire life.

Must have been that sign I held at sixteen years old by the side of the road that said "bush lied us into a war, and people died."

or maybe it was that time I told a really enthusiastic obama supporting police officer that it amazed me obama had time to win the nobel peace prize what with all the bombings he carried out against foreign civilians.

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Holy fuck, I hate the internet

Always me

Kiki's meme of the day

Im on vacation and my boss is terrorising my phone number. Having answered after the 5 th call he claims I’m not on vacation until i sent out a handover to all my colleagues. Fuck this shit I’m so done with them

can you crab ya wanna

Kiki's meme of the day

Kiki’s meme of the day

Current task:

Somehow, one of my predecessors made some sort of custom hook tied to woocommerce check out that pipes some data into a nightmarish spaghetti fuck pile of undocumented wild west visual basic bullshit. It does this, presumably, via a set of parameters passed as plaintext in a url. I know this because I found the singleton that declares this. Helpfully, Mr. Fuckass named the class "Default", so I only have around 30k instances being kicked back by my IDE when I search for it. The only reason I "need" to find this, is so that I can just change the button to an href pointing at my own MS for shipping, and I need to change the fifteen params being passed to just one - a customer ID, which should be stored in the session, and referenced by a cookie. Once that is done, I should be able to freely delete a couple of gigs worth of bullshit. Been stuck on this for three days now. God forbid we have a test environment or something.

I'm tired. Can't even get angry anymore really. Can't even think of anything funny to say about it either, I just can't wait until this is done and I can go back to sleep.

The fact that I can buy a game for $70 price tag today, and still run the risk of it getting taken away from me, by the company that built it, is why I'll always pirate games.

If buying is not owning, then pirating is not stealing.

I thought my laptop was going crazy, but it was just my CAT laying on my wireless keyboard that was in another room!

It's easy getting these two mixed up when the trouble starts...

Trump and Biden flying small Cessna. Biden says: I can throw out a $100 bill and make one person happy. Trump says: I can throw out ten bills and make ten people happy. Pilot says: I can throw out both of you and make 8 billion people happy!

not anymore

Just want to take a moment to thank Sir Francis Regex (AKA Stephen Kleene) for creating regex. Thank you for making my life easier and better through your efforts. Rest in peace, my friend.

Regex is the shit y'all. We all stand atop the shoulders of giants. Spare a moment to reflect and appreciate.

The CloudStrike outage in my company started by the nuking of the main branch's ERP.
Then the sales platform went down, and the CRM.
Soon the freaking office suite got BSOD'd.
Enjoying the impromptu holiday here. Until the lights go off or something.

Commented the code

99.9% of the people are dumb! Fortunately I belong to the remaining 1%

Is there ? :'(

People complaining dR is dead but I still have the feeling the most advanced developers are here community wise. I'll stay here :) People who care about their profession / job

You ever sit down to code, all pumped up and ready to conquer the digital world, only to have your computer decide it's the perfect time to install updates? "Sorry, can't work right now, I'm busy optimizing your experience," it says, while you sit there twiddling your thumbs and wondering who asked for this update in the first place.

And let's talk about variable names. Who thought naming things would be the hardest part of programming? You start with `count` and `index`, but by the end of the project, you're using variables like `reallyLongVariableNameThatDescribesExactlyWhatThisThingDoes`. It's like playing a game of how many characters can you type before your fingers revolt.

Then there's the joy of debugging. You sprinkle `console.log()` like breadcrumbs through your code, trying to find where things went off the rails. Half the time, you realize you've been chasing the wrong rabbit down the wrong hole, and the other half, you discover the bug is some obscure edge case that you couldn't have predicted in a million years.

But hey, it's not all doom and gloom. There's a weird satisfaction in solving those coding puzzles, like when you finally get that algorithm to work or refactor your code into something so elegant, it feels like you've sculpted a masterpiece out of digital clay.

So here's to all the coders out there, navigating the ups and downs of curly braces and semicolons with a mix of determination and exasperation. May your code compile, your bugs be minor inconveniences, and your computer never decide to update right when you're on a coding roll!!

Hey, @dfox

Is there anything we can do to help?
We miss you, and we want to keep devRant alive too.

garbage collectors' lifestyle matters!

Ever eyeballed the abyss of your memory leaks? Shit, garbage collectors deserve a raise.

Unsung heroes, janitorialing thru that VM like a dung beetle, silently fucking up your perf so you can do that delicious spaghetti. Indiana-jonesing the fuck out of that memory trash can and euthanizing all that disgusting heap of pointers hanging, dangling, like... well, like garbage.

At the very least they're deterministic, unlike that Markov chain we all had the displeasure of fucking up. Amen? Amen! 🙌🏻

You gotta wonder, though, what goes through their nuggin. Do they reminisce about the potential of that half-ass-written class? Do they weep for the elegance of a forgotten function bottlenecking their job? Nah, probably just counting down the nanoseconds till their next full GC cycle. Aaah, like cold beer in Saturday barbecue.

So next time your program miraculously avoids a memory error, take a moment, put your hands up in the air and say a prayer to your garbage collector.

Silently covering for your fuckups

😲🤡😲🤡😲🤡

I switch my phone off when I don't use it.

When I work, I have everything I need on my laptop. When I don't work, I don't usually expect anyone to call me, and I want to talk to no one anyway, so… Yep, my phone barely sees uptime.

It's on when I'm out becuz camera (https://miloxeon.com/photos), but that's about it.

ah, APIs... writing APIs is fine, even typing an API can be great! 😃👍🏻

that's it

---

No, actually, all of the above is invalid if you've gotta do it in typescript

My boss keeps touching and poking my colleague's and my laptop screens. Our laptops are both Mac and are not company property. My colleague once told him to stop. He said sorry, but after 5 minutes, he did it again. It's so annoying. Why can't people understand that if it's not a touchscreen, they should keep their manners and not touch it?

Looks like my subscription to devRant++ has just been cancelled in Google Play Store... and it's not posdtble to renew, because the item doesn't exist anymore.
Supported since 2017... now status gone 😐

Just find it a good laugh

Have you ever been pair coding with someone who uses shotgun debugging? I am about to claw my eyes out! What is shotgun debugging you ask?
Code doesn't work... What do we do?
I start thinking about possible flow, how to go back to what works, where to insert debugging statements. My partner interrupts my thought and says - what if we change this variable name?
...uh what?
What if that fixes it
It won't!
Well how do you know if you don't try?
I change the variable name - of course nothing works and now I forgot the possible solution I was thinking about...
Starting over... I again start coming close to the idea... Interrupts me again. What if we comment out this random line?
Why what's your reasoning?
Answer: *Shrug* idk might work...
...rinse and repeat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???!
I literally started muting my computer sound so I can not hear him while I think and that helps tremendously. This is programming not magic, people!!! Stop throwing random "what if" suggestions!