Today was successful. I deployed an app to a dev environment that worked perfectly on local. When I asked if it was ready for QA I said "no, there is issues that need attention"

I am now the proud owner of 75 QA emails of things that do not work. Luckily they're all duplicates of the same issue.

Ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Friend asked to create a small website. I didnt ask for an upfront pay because I trusted him. Finished the website and sent him an invoice.

We're now strangers.

He didn't pay

Found this on a client's js code

// They forced me to write this code.
// Prepare yourself.

I found out later that month what that dev truly means

Because "Roboto" is my fav 😅

Great guide 🙌🏼😅

New version of DevRant hits the app store!

Spending all weekend on research and testing for a new feature, finding the perfect framework for it, going trough the API just to come Monday to work and get told by Project Lead: we can't use it, it is not in our stack.

How can it be in our stack!? We've never done anything like that before!

Just here to see if any of my employees are talking shit. lmk.

This us up my 4 years with my employers

Client: Can you build me a custom Wordpress site to look like this WordPress template..
Me: Sure, but why not buy the rights to the template?
Client: I want it custom.
Me: what do you want custom?
Client: the content on all the pages. The template is all in french or something.
Me: kills self.

guys, I never knew you could undock the inspector in chrome. #lifechanging

When variable naming should be policed... $is_not_checkout. WTF!! Even worse when seen in context.

If (!$is_not_checkout) {
// do something when on the checkout

}

foo.

#hiddengem #legacycode #thisdevelopernolongerworkshere

I'm just wondering how many developers is tire of people asking them to build a complete custom site in WordPress. And when you tell them "hey Fucker it would be faster and work better if we just build this cms from scratch" but the client won't budge they want fucking WordPress no matter what...

When you read those job ads "Must be able to work well under pressure and to tight deadlines in a busy office etc.."
Who would willingly walk in to such a shitty role. Perhaps if they fired the management things would improve.

Me: why are you using so many break tags?

Intern: Its the only way I can position this div below that form.

Me: *facepalm*

All too often.

IE6 sucks

I hate programming.
I hate programming.
I hate programming.
IT WORKS!
I love programming.

Well! Make sense ...

* Doesn't want to waste time eating when trying to fix an issue that's wasted most of the day so takes lunch later .. then fixes issue in five minutes as soon as food has been consumed *

Boy: Will you marry me?
Girl: No
Boy: Sudo will you marry me?
Girl: Oh yeah lets go go go!

Client: I want my site to look exactly like the design.

Me: Of course, but I'm assuming you want it responsive...

Client: yes, I want it to look exactly like the design on all devices.

Me: but that's not how...

Project manager: of course the site will be fully responsive and look exactly the same on all devices.

Me: but...fine.

1 week later...

Project manager: The site looks horrible on mobile!

Me: it matches the design perfectly...

I want to see a movie where machines gain intelligence and go to war with humanity, only to be defeated when some guy deletes a single semi-colon from their code.

Saw this in a Tumblr blog. Lol

Had a bug opened because the print dialog is different in IE and Chrome :/

Everyone always says the previous developer was crap, sometimes you're right

My boss literally spends half an hour finger-fucking his phone on the mobile site to find "bugs", that I can't replicate. A combination like: swipe, pinch, landscape, portrait, back pinch, open new tab, close tab, ash cigarette on phone, dunk in toilet, dry, double tap... Aha I've found a bug, there's 0.5 pixel line of space between the bag header and the browser bar.

Looking over a clients website to see what they paid for from the guy the previously paid thousands of dollars for.

End up with a personal dilemma of whether or not to let them know all they did was charge them a few thousand to host their Wordpress website on a godaddy server and it's just a generic theme not even customized for the client.

Co-worker: I'm so tired of working on Wordpress sites! I didn't go to school just to do this all day!
Me: well you can help me with this Magento site...
Co-worker: ...

When you've finished a project and the site goes live, you get a message from the client "looking good". To me that implies it's not finished, and I'm expecting a follow up message "can you just..."