Who will try it? :-D

If you ever feel useless remember, Samsung has it's own App store

*Now that's what I call a Hacker*

MOTHER OF ALL AUTOMATIONS

This seems a long post. but you will definitely +1 the post after reading this.

xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.

xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"

xxx: You're gonna love this

xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login.

xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".

xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am.

xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fuckingcoffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens an SSH session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has SSHD up and running) and sends some weird gibberish to it. Looks binary. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk.

xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those

Credit: http://bit.ly/1jcTuTT

The bash scripts weren't bogus, you can find his scripts on the this github URL:
https://github.com/narkoz/...

How web server works. Brutal reality simply explained. #symfonyCon

Pretty much sums up my life

When you prove its a hardware probelm

But that is my email....

got it somewhere on the net

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

At a funeral.....

A visitor: What's the WiFi password here?

Priest: Respect the dead

Visitor: All small letters ?...

Writing some code on a flight

"ARE YOU HACKING?!?!"
"Ugh... Well yeah but not in the way you're thinking"
"Omg I'm getting a flight attendant"

Needless to say I'm still en route because the flight attendant realized that I'm not Mr Robot, nor do I have ZeroCool scribbled on my laptop anywhere.

Every time I see it, it makes me laugh 😂

Hahahaja!

Me: 1 is something, 0 is nothing, NULL is the absence of things
JuniorDev: wut
Me: You've got pizza in a box, that's 1. If there's no pizza in the box, that's 0. If there's no pizza and no box, that's NULL.
JuniorDev: OOH so there's no object to reference if I ask for a slice!
Me: *small tear*

Always explain things in terms of pizza. Always.

On his first week at job, the junior says:

Hey guys! Check out this new website I found! You'll thank me later.

When you find a result on google that has the exact same title as your problem and get a 404 page after clicking it...

#technology

my relationships

Love winrar

hahaha yaaa

New devRant cartoon now live on YouYube! Experience the perils of pair programming! https://youtu.be/vjr_9xKUlYA If you enjoy, please share!

I've been doing agile wrong my entire life

Just saw a variable in C named like this:

long time_ago; //in a galaxy far away

I laughed no stop.

Amen :p

Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁

Who wants one?

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Among non-programmer friends:

Me: *opens up a terminal window*
Friends: "Dude, are you HACKING?"

LOL :D