on the first day, He said, "Let there be C." and there was C. on the second day, he added some more so there became C++

The past few days I didn't drink much water. So today I am dehydrated and focus is basically non-existent.

Downed three glasses of water and one sugary drink, still can't understand what's happening around me. Gah!

In the meantime, trying to understand math papers. This is fun! **says while head is spinning and has a slight fever**

I'mma go home and sleep. 🛌

This is too surreal

I’m on this ticket, right? It’s adding some functionality to some payment file parser. The code is atrocious, but it’s getting replaced with a microservice definitely-not-soon-enough, so i don’t need to rewrite it or anything, but looking at this monstrosity of mental diarrhea … fucking UGH. The code stink is noxious.

The damn thing reads each line of a csv file, keeping track of some metadata (blah blah) and the line number (which somehow has TWO off-by-one errors, so it starts on fucking 2 — and yes, the goddamn column headers on line #0 is recorded as line #2), does the same setup shit on every goddamned iteration, then calls a *second* parser on that line. That second parser in turn stores its line state, the line number, the batch number (…which is actually a huge object…), and a whole host of other large objects on itself, and uses exception throwing to communicate, catches and re-raises those exceptions as needed (instead of using, you know, if blocks to skip like 5 lines), and then writes the results of parsing that one single line to the database, and returns. The original calling parser then reads the data BACK OUT OF THE DATABASE, branches on that, and does more shit before reading the next line out of the file and calling that line-parser again.

JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK

And that’s not including the lesser crimes like duplicated code, misleading var names, and shit like defining class instance constants but … first checking to see if they’re defined yet? They obviously aren’t because they aren’t anywhere else in the fucking file!

Whoever wrote this pile of fetid muck must have been retroactively aborted for their previous crimes against intelligence, somehow survived the attempt, and is now worse off and re-offending.

Just.
Asdkfljasdklfhgasdfdah

If you just git add . by instinct, you're already dead inside

Instead, consider checking out the diffs of your changes before staging them, and then stage the files or directories individually

Of course I'm saying this to complain about my colleagues who stage and commit things they shouldn't, it probably doesn't apply to small side projects, but staging individually is probably a good habit to have

Here’s to a hopefully better 2024!

Let’s all tell our bitchface thundercunt micromanagers to fuck off, find better employ elsewhere, and finally make progress on that side project that was our world several months ago.

And if the world continues going absolutely mental, may all of you find a peaceful meadow away from everyone and build yourselves wonderful little cottages.

DEI QA: “For step 2 should the checkbox be checked? Or uncheck ?”

… Step 2 of my testing steps reads: “Check it [the checkbox], save it, reload it. The box should still be checked. Repeat to uncheck it, just to be pedantic, then leave it off so we can test the existing behavior.”

🤦🏻‍♀️

DEI QA: “The payment_method_identifier will be in api callback logs if `Return payment method identifier in auth/confirmation callbacks` is checked?”

🤦🏻‍♀️

Me: it does what it says on the tin.

DEI QA: “BTW its a `tin`.”
DEI QA: “In Canada its `Taxpayer Identification Number`”

🤦🏻‍♀️

The one day a year when the American date format is better: 6/9
Europe date format is pretty good on 9/6 though.
🍿🍿🍿

We made a Tetris cake 😁

....

I give up trying to write this.
I'm just too fucking pissed off.

My interactions with my micromanager make absolutely no sense -- she is clearly just trying to piss me off and blame me for everything, facts and reasoning be damned.

I tried detailing this week's examples (there are lots, and it's fucking Tuesday), but. screw it.

Fuck working for (and with) her.
She's a bitchface and a thundercunt.

I'm updating my resume and fucking off out of here.

God fucking damnit i hate her.

Currently watching a bunch of drunk Irish people try different whiskeys and drunkenly banter with one another, while myself sipping Irish whiskey. It’s nice.

Slàinte! 🥃

… I need a drink.

You know how they write "100% natural" on food items? I want to try food that is 99% natural, e.g. containing certain stuff that cannot exist in our universe

I have to write a calendar app. In js. Just fucking kill me right the fuck away.

Dear children let's talk about how to ask a f***ing question.

You don't just go "I need help. I can't figure it out." We had trainings on this, I sat through 3 hours holding your hand to help you try and understand things.

And yet now we have scheduled another 3 hours to help you figure this out because you said you were having difficulty with it because you couldn't figure it out. How about instead of just saying you "Need help", you start by
1. Explaining what you are trying to accomplish
2. What specific issue are you facing? Is there an error message or something?
3. What have you already tried thus far that didn't work?

Instead of "I NEED HELP I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!" that is the sign of a lazy f****ing engineer, someone who doesn't want to think, who doesn't want to learn something new who wants to just coast by. Especially when this is going to become an increasingly important part of your job.

And of course you currently are still a whole job level above me because sitting around and keeping a chair warm for 10 years means you are a valuable contributor, instead of what you can actually DO!

This bugs me so much. So remember kids, when you need help, or need to ask a question, ASK IT THE RIGHT F****ING WAY!

Dealing with non-techy people is annoying.
Dealing with non-techy people who THINK they are techy is even worse.

Fuck it I’m posting it again because I got got by this…Again.

If this is how you write your APIs, take a number, get in line. I got some slapping to get out of my system.

I hate how disruptive meetings are, I was coding and now I don’t know what the fuck I was trying to do.

JS is too funny 😂

The truth behind Ai

My mom got cancer and passed away two years later. I had made several videos to document her life. All of that, plus photos and video of our family, lived on a backup drive that got dropped on the floor a few months after she passed away. Head crash that wasn’t discovered until it was turned on again and forever destroyed the platter. It was the largest set of photos and video I had of her. All forever gone.

Beware of NPM packages maintained by Brandon Nozaki Miller alias RIAEvangelist. He added IP-specific malware to node-ipc.

https://security.snyk.io/vuln/...
https://github.com/RIAEvangelist/...

STOP USING FOO BAR IN YOUR GODDAMN EXAMPLES. I BEG OF YOU.

I wish my classmates didn’t know that I’m good at programming.

Recently, more and more often I am being reached out to by my classmates (and especially by one individual) about the problems they’re having issues with. For example yesterday, a guy fucked up his Git commit and made a bunch of merge conflicts, so I helped him fix this, which then lead to WinForms having multiple declarations of same objects.

And I really don’t wanna be rude, and I always try to help, for the love of god - stop bothering me every 5 minutes while I code, or at 10 PM while I wanna chill out.

Most of the things they have problems with can be solved by 2 minute Googling and I strongly believe that at the university level, you should be able to find solutions for your problems yourself - especially when you’re a programmer.

A programmer's wife tells him:
"while you're at the store, get some milk".

He never comes back.

I'm finally realising my long time dream and making a programming language. It's a functional language resemblent in both appearance and usage to lambda calculus. I'll mostly be making plans down to the finest details until the end of summer, at which point if I can gauge the challenge I can hopefully submit this as a graduate project.

This is the first in a series of articles documenting my progress:
https://lbfalvy.github.io/blog/...

I would absolutely love it if people would write their own stupid code instead of blindly mixing everyone else's mental diarrhea together and pouring the resulting mess into their bloody stupid IDE. At least then I could insult them properly. As it is, they're outsourcing their fucking stupidity to the lowest fucking bidder and then bragging about how quickly they get everything done. And management eats it up! No wonder everything is a slow, tangled, unmaintanable mess.

I can't fix much of anything because almost none of it is in my control. It's all autogenerated bullshit glued together with laziness and poor taste. "But Root, why is fixing this taking so long?" Gee, I wonder why. Maybe if someone had built it somewhere in realm of correctly the first time, it wouldn't have all fallen apart when someone looked at it the wrong way!

Seriously, there's no way this pile of stale fertilizer could have passed QA.

I HATE CORS I HATE CORS

Start working on ticket
Looks at code
WTF is the shit?
Open devRant to rant
1.5 hours later
what was I doing?

In some malls here in russia we casually have home depot stuff vending machines, right next to usual snack ones.