An incident which made a Security Researcher cry
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I was working on my laptop finishing up my code while waiting for the flight which was late . Meanwhile two guys (I'm gonna call them Fellas) in black suit and shades came to me

Fella : Sir you have to come with us .
Me : *goes along with them*
Fella : Sir please proceed *points towards the door . The room has a round table with some guys discussing something *
Fella 1 : Your passport please
Me : *Hands over the passport*
Fella 1 : Where are you traveling to sir?
Me : India
Fella 1 : Put your laptop in the desk sir.
Me : Sure thing
Fella 2 : What were you doing there? *Taps the power button*
Me : Just finishing up my work .
Fella 1 : Or hacking our systems?
Me : Seriously?
Fella 2 : The password please .
Me : Here you go
*5 minutes have passed and​ he still can't figure out how to use the machine*
Fella 2 : Which Windows is this?
Me : It's Linux
Fella 1 : So you are a hacker .
Me : Nope
Fella 1 : You are using Linux
Me : Does it matters?
Fella 1 : Where do you work?
Me : *I won't mention here but I told him*
Fella 2 : So what do you do there?
Me : I'm a Security Researcher
Fella 1 : What's your work?
Me : I find security holes in their systems .
Fella 1 : That means you are a hacker .
Me : Not at all .
Fella 2 : But they do the same and they use Linux .
Me : You can call me one .
*After 15 minutes of doo-laa-baa-dee-doo-ra-ba-doo amongst them I dunno what they were talking , they shutdown the computer and handed over it to me*
Fella 2 - So you are somewhat like a hacker .
Me - *A bit frustrated* Yes.

##And now the glorious question appeared like an angel from river ##

Can you hack Facebook?
Me - 😭😭😭

She: Uuggrrr.. You did it again
Me: What
She: Stop opening the dev tools
Me: Oh sorry
She: Leave me alone with your laptop.

10 min later

Me: What did you change?
She: I tried to remove the dev tools by changing the dragged position to a negative value in chromes config files.
Me: wow.
She: Didn't work.
Me: Hehe, nice try though

*opens chrome*
Me: wut.
She: *chuckles*

- Light pink theme
- 500% zoom
- Font size changed
- Some virus search engine (my search?)
- deleted some plugins
- start page randomcolour.org (or color? (<- me css freak))

Was doing some work on a server today and removing loads of stuff.

rm -rf file1
Etc
Etc
Etc

Went into another directory with very important data. Wanted to do ls -la but my fingers went:
rm -rf ./
.
.
*1 milisecond later*
😶
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
CTRL+C
*VIGOROUSLY CHECKS FILES*

Everything still there 😅

UPDATE: I have my dream job.

About a year ago I commented on Devrant that I was having some hard luck interviewing for development jobs.
Shortly after my post I decided to lower my expectations and took a job at a tech support call center.(3 month contract)
After getting a little experience(Not just a degree) I was able to land a hardware support job at a fortune 500 company.(Not what a programmer really wants 😂)
I worked hard and started writing tools at home to help with the job. I started giving them out to the other techs and put them on a little internal website for easy access.
About 3 months ago I just became a software engineer within the company.(after 6 months of hardware repair.) The main reason I got the job was because I showed them how much overtime and extra work I had done and that the techs relied on my software to do there jobs and that I was dependable.

It was hard work but it was worth it. And I built software that I never would have done if I hadn't taken this "lower job"

So keep your chin up and your fingers on the keys, I was in your shoes a year ago. 😉

Porn websites know their audience so well, they dark theme it

I love how "shotgun debugging" works.

Let's say the microwave doesn't work. I put my burrito in it, press buttons. Nothing happens.

Any sane person would trace the possible cause: Check if it is plugged in, maybe the fuse is blown? Nah, we don't have time for this: Let's try shotgunning it!

- Turn the burrito upside down.
- Try aligning the burrito in different cardinal directions.
- Press random buttons
- Remove burrito wrapper
- Separate burrito into single components, sort them onto a plate in a nifty layout and try microwaving that.
- Remove each component of the sorted burrito plate and try microwaving the plate with less and less items.
- Try microwaving each separate item and then later reassembling them back into burrito to see if it gets heated after the act.
- Try putting a cat on top of the microwave.
- Pour water on cat
- Notice a strong reaction involving water and the cat.
- Try catching the cat for additional testing.
- Go to the hospital to get stitches on your open wounds.

Later write a bug report to the maintainer: "Microwave doesn't work. Tracked the issue down to the moisture level of the cat, additional testing needed."

I once participated in a programming competition. We named our team "NameNotFoundException". Although we didn't win but a few days later we got a call from the organizing committee. They thought that there was something wrong with their system and wanted to know the name of our team. We laughed our asses off.

Morning conversation with wife.

As she puts a stainless steel water bottle on the counter

She: can you make a water bottle for our daughter before school.

Me: I'm not sure, does it have to look like this one, I don't have any training working with metals. But if I have full control over the design. I may be able to come up with something.

She: that not funny, why do you always do that.

Me: do what, that is exactly what you told me to do.

A little later.....

She: I'm running late, can you make sure "everything" up stairs is unplugged..... (She means her curling iron)

I can't wait until she comes home.........;-)

Me: intern in XYZ company
Boss: boss of XYZ

Boss: Why are you taking so much time in developing a simple webpage.
Me: *explains because you asked for so much bullshit to include**
Boss: I can develop it in half an hour.
Me: *-_-*
Boss: I developed a website in PowerPoint when I was intern.
Me: In PowerPoint? How?... Really..?
Boss: Ya, that's the type of skills I have. You're so lazy, you take so much time to make a simple webpage.
Me: -_-

ON MONDAY

TL: Why the hell you require a month to integrate this engine?

Me: It will take that much time, can't help it.

TL: it can be done within a week.

Me: Then you do it.

TL: Ok I will show how it's done in a week.

ON FRIDAY

Me: What's the status on that integration?

TL: Oh yeah about that, you have to carry it ahead, I have some monitoring to do.

Me: Ok, give me the repository access, I will carry it ahead.

ME OPENS REPOSITORY.

There's only a new controller file with nothing it.

Yep lol

This couldn't be any truer, in our totally flawed education system.

Types of headache 😂

What does dfox say ?

DEV, DEV, DEV, DEV ,DEV, DEV
RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT, RANT

Congratulations.

This describes my feelings so well...

This would be funny if it wasn't supposed to show the amount on my bank account.

Laughed more than I like to admit

LOL difference is clear

Every job interview question ever